Peel Autism Resource

09/26/2026

09/26/2026

So, what actually is PDA?

PDA has traditionally stood for Pathological Demand Avoidance. Many people now prefer the term Persistent Drive for Autonomy, and I think that helps us look at it differently.

Because if we only see a child who is “avoiding demands”, we can very quickly end up focusing on how to make them comply.

But what if we ask why the demand has become so difficult in the first place?

For someone with a PDA profile, everyday demands can create an intense need to regain autonomy and control.

And “demand” doesn’t just mean an adult saying:

“Put your shoes on.”

It can be getting dressed.
Leaving the house.
Eating.
Going to the toilet.
Answering a question.
Starting something.
Stopping something.
Doing something they were actually looking forward to.

Sometimes even their own body creates demands.

Hungry? Now you need to eat.

Tired? Now you need to sleep.

Need the toilet? There’s another demand.

And that’s why PDA can be so confusing from the outside.

A child might desperately want to go somewhere and then be unable to get out of the door.

They might ask to do an activity and then resist starting it.

They might appear perfectly capable of doing something one day and completely unable to do it the next.

If we see all of that simply as “refusal”, we miss what might be happening underneath.

PDA is also an area where there is still debate and developing research. It isn’t a standalone diagnosis in the major diagnostic manuals, and not everyone agrees on the terminology or how PDA should be understood.

But whatever words we use, there are autistic people and families telling us that this description of an intense drive for autonomy makes sense of their lived experience.

And when we understand something differently, we can respond differently too.

This week I’m going down the PDA rabbit hole!

What it can look like.
Why ordinary strategies sometimes make things worse.
Language that can reduce pressure.
PDA at school.
PDA at home.
And practical strategies that can actually help.

Because the aim isn’t to become better at making someone comply.

It’s to understand why something feels impossible and find a way forward together. ❤️

Mandy Cook
The Autistic Teacher

09/26/2026

09/26/2026

09/26/2026

I can’t tell you how many times I was told:

“She’s fine when you’re not here.”

And I believed them.

Or at least, I tried to.

Because what else was I supposed to believe when the people with her all day were telling me that the child they saw was completely different to the child I was seeing?

They saw her walk through the door.

They saw her sit in the classroom.

They saw her answer questions, follow instructions, sometimes laugh with her friends.

And then I got her back.

I got the meltdowns. The tears. The exhaustion. The explosions over things that seemingly made no sense. The child who couldn’t cope with another demand because she’d spent the entire school day coping with them.

But still I heard it.

“She’s fine once you’re gone.”

It’s one of the reasons I wanted Liv to say this in The School Is Lava:

“I heard the teacher tell her (mum) that I am fine when she is gone, but that’s not true! How do they know how I feel? I have no choice but to hide how scared I am until the school day ends.”

That sentence matters to me because looking fine and feeling fine are not the same thing.

I know that now.

At the time, I kept wondering what I was doing wrong.

Why was she apparently fine for everybody else?

Why did everything fall apart with me?

Why could she cope there and not at home?

It took me far too long to understand that home wasn’t necessarily where the problem was.

Home was where she finally felt safe enough to stop holding it all in.

And when a child has to fall apart at home in order to look “fine” at school, I think we need to be very careful about using their ability to mask their distress as evidence that the distress isn’t there.

Sometimes the child who appears to be coping is using absolutely everything they have just to make it to the end of the day.

And sometimes the parent standing at the school gate is seeing a part of that child that school never gets to see.

If you’ve ever been told “they’re fine when you’re not here”, I’d really like to hear what happened when they came home. ❤️

🌋 The School Is Lava is back in stock on Amazon. Comment LAVA and I’ll send you the details.

09/25/2026

If neurotypical doesn’t mean someone with a typical or normal brain, what does neurotypical actually mean?

Answer: neurotypical refers to a socially privileged position produced through neuronormativity.

09/25/2026

📣 Let's say it louder for the people in the back:

Non-speaking ≠ non-thinking.
Non-speaking ≠ non-feeling.
Non-speaking ≠ non-communicating.

It simply means this person communicates in different ways. 💕

🔁 Share this with a colleague or parent to spread the message.

09/25/2026

Attention is a primal need that every child is going to seek. If a child is “attention seeking” then they have a need that they are communicating through behaviour and they need your attention to help. As we meet our kid’s need and redirect them when they ask for it in not so favourable ways, we are teach them how to get and give positive attention that is required in all health relationships.

More information on my blog:

https://www.thetherapistparent.com/post/attention-seeking-should-not-be-ignored

09/25/2026

💡 A new study found that Autistic expertise can be limited by the way teamwork itself is structured.
Researchers identified three barriers: autonomy, anxiety, and attention. ✅✅✅
Neuronormative expectations around pacing, communication, constant coordination, and sensory and social demands can make it harder for Autistic people’s knowledge and expertise to be recognized.
The answer is not more social-skills training or teaching Autistic people to adapt to the environment.
Change the environment.
Flexible pacing. Asynchronous options. Clear structure. Written follow-up. Quiet spaces. Multiple ways to participate.
Kim et al. (2026). Autism in Adulthood. - Link to study in comments.

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Square social media graphic with a white background and curved blue design elements along the right edge. At the top is the Therapist Neurodiversity Collective® name. The main headline in large dark navy text reads, “AUTISTIC PEOPLE AREN’T FAILING AT TEAMWORK. OUR TEAMWORK NORMS MAY BE FAILING THEM.” Centered below, blue text reads, “3 Structural Barriers:” followed by “Autonomy • Anxiety • Attention.” A short paragraph states, “A new study found that neuronormative teamwork can limit Autistic people’s knowledge and expertise from being recognized.” Large blue text at lower left reads, “CHANGE THE ENVIRONMENT, NOT THE AUTISTIC PERSON.” At lower right, four adults are shown collaborating around a table with a laptop and work materials. Small citation text at the bottom reads, “Kim et al., Autism in Adulthood, 2026.”

09/25/2026

This population-based cohort study assesses the association between prenatal paracetamol exposure and risk of autism spectrum or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder using a sibling-matched design.