Heartstring parent coaching

How to play 👇

My daughter was whining, slow, complaining and saying she “couldn’t” clean up the toys.

Before I asked again and again and got frustrated with her, I realized something important: Her energy was low because she hadn’t had any connection with me all day!

I had been busy. With her, but not connecting with her. She needed her tank filled. Not a power struggle about the toys.

So I switched on play mode and just sat on the floor and we invented a new game: Clean up tag!

🚨First, hit FOLLOW if you want parenting to feel lighter, and get your kids to stop fighting (that’s my jam)

⭐️So here’s HOW to play Clean Up Tag:

Sit on the floor and close your eyes! your child has to try to either a) sneak around you without you tagging them or b)Tag YOU.

If they sneak around you or tag you before you tag them (or cheat and peek 🫣), YOU put a toy away.

If you tag them, THEY put a toy away.

🔑My kids started playing this together pretty quickly. This is absolutely a game siblings can adapt and play together.

WHY does this work? Because it fills your child’s tank, which is exactly what they need to get their energy back.

WAIT - this game takes too long!?! Read my notes in the comments for my thoughts on that one.

🔥Comment CHEATCODE for the Sibling Connection Cheatcode with a ton of games and ideas and ways for siblings to start connecting and playing together.

Playful parenting / sibling fights / mom of two / mom of three kids

What works ⬇️

If you have a child who is in a mood and they bug, pick, annoy or irritate their sibling

- it’s so tempting to just tell them to “STOP” already - or take something away from them because they’re being mean.

But - none of those things work because:

1️⃣It doesn’t get to the core of why the behaviour is happening in the first place

2️⃣It doesn’t give them a way to do better next time

This is the only thing that will ultimately reduce this type of behaviour in the future:

The key 🔑 is to get to the root cause of why they are acting that way.

Until you do that, it’ll be a bandaid solution.

It’s easy to assume that our kids are bugging, provoking or being mean “just because” or because they are bad.

Humans always have a reason behind their actions. There is a reason your kids are acting that way towards eachother.

👉And until you know why and offer a replacement, all the scripts and tips in the world won’t make the sibling fighting stop.

If you’re new here: I help parents with sibling fighting and misbehaviour - follow along

🔥Comment TRAINING to watch the free on demand Masterclass: How to get your kids to stop fighting

If you want something more than a bandaid, you gotta go a little deeper my friend 😉

sibling fights / sibling conflict / mom of two kids / mom of three kids

Here’s how 👇

I post playful ideas on my page, and I teach parents how to get their kids to listen and cooperate using positive discipline.

And one of the key things I’ve noticed is that you can’t wait until you feel “playful”. You’ll be waiting awhile.

💡If you want to be a more playful parent, sometimes that means doing it even though you don’t feel like it!

🏋️It’s like going to the gym. I never feel like it. But once I do it, I feel so good!

Play with your kids will activate chemicals in their brain (making them more able to listen and cooperate with you)…

AND, it will activate chemicals in your brain too- so that you feel less stressed, overwhelmed and less likely to snap and be the angry parent you never wanted to be.

But you also just have to do it sometimes, even when you don’t feel like it.

Follow my page for easy ideas.💗

🔥Comment P2P to learn about the Peaceful parent method, if you’re ready to stop yelling, threatening and asking a million times before your kids listen

Playful parenting / mom of two kids / mom of three kids /

Next steps

First: there is not 1 reason only that kids will kick and push each other. There are many.

Based on these children’s ages and what this mom told me briefly - I made my best guess for her.

If this rings true for you, here’s what you need to know:

Once your kids have some bad blood built up, tiny things like who gets more milk, who sits beside mom, who is where on the couch- can erupt quickly into a fight.

Your kids need to re-build their goodwill bank account. They need to see proof that their sibling isn’t all bad.

Focus on anything positive you can see between them (and ideally increase it 🥰).

3:1 rule: Show them through your words that their sibling isn’t all bad. 3 good things for every 1 negative thing you say.

👉instead of “you two cant go 5 min without fighting”

⭐️ “You two are friends, you’ll figure this out”

The way you approach your kids fighting can make a world of difference

💡Comment QUIZ to take the free Sibling Quiz to find out what’s really going on behind your kids fighting

🔥Comment TRAINING to watch the free on demand Sibling workshop: how to get your kids to stop fighting (be sure to hit follow first otherwise links can’t be sent)