20/03/2025
TRUST
š Throwback to 2023, the year in which I participated in a couple of shows with horses.
In this particular show, I was doing some vaulting exercises on horseback together with Younes, my boyfriend (now husband). To be clear: I am absolutely not a professional in this field, and I only started vaulting 2 years before, when I was 33. During the preparation of this show, a lot of things were out of my control. We didnāt have many repetitions, and only 1 week before the premiĆØre, we started practising with the horse we would be performing with. To say I was stressed is an understatement.Ā
This performance taught me something about trust. Trusting myself for performing the best I could with the practice I had at that moment. Trusting my husbandās strength for holding me up in the air. Trusting the horse beneath us for carrying us in a steady rhythm throughout the performance. Trusting his owner, at the other end of the lungeline, for guiding her horse safely on stage. Speaking about teamwork!Ā
This performance taught me something about surrendering: the moments when I was being carried by Younes and the horse I could only surrender: surrender to our team. I had to learn to lean in (literally) on the strength of others. For a control freak kinda person like me, thatās a big thing! The song that played during the act said ātell me your wounds, show me who you areā. Thatās exactly what I felt in these vulnerable positions: in letting go of control and in surrendering, I was showing parts of me that were usually hidden behind the otherwise controlling personality.Ā
I felt very vulnerable in these moments, but at the same time, I felt so alive.
And let those be the moments I live for - those in which I feel most alive.
š
.essafy