Alignment Counselling & Coaching Services

02/09/2026

Hmmm... let the love you have, not the losses be the driver for change to be a better person than you were yesterday! 💖💪

01/09/2026

Great visual representation!
The value of saying no!

They started calling you selfish right around the time you stopped saying yes to everything. And the timing wasn't a coincidence. The moment you installed a door where there used to be an open hallway, the people who were used to walking through whenever they wanted suddenly had a problem with the renovation.

"You've changed." "You're not the same person." "I don't even recognize you anymore." And what they mean by all of that is, "You're no longer easy to use, and that's inconvenient for me."

The old version of you was available around the clock. Not because you wanted to be, but because you hadn't yet learned the difference between generosity and being taken advantage of. You gave because giving felt like love, and love felt like sacrifice, and sacrifice felt like proof that you mattered. So you kept giving. Time, energy, money, emotional labor, the kind of invisible work that never showed up on anyone's gratitude list but showed up in your exhaustion every single night.

And then something shifted. Maybe it was one specific moment, or maybe it was a slow accumulation of moments that finally reached a weight your back couldn't carry anymore. Either way, you started saying no. Not aggressively. Not with a speech or a declaration. Just a quiet, steady no that surprised the people around you because they'd never heard it from your mouth before.

That no is what they're calling selfish. And they're calling it that because the word creates guilt, and guilt is the tool they've always used to pull you back into compliance. If they can make you feel bad about the boundary, you'll take the boundary down. That's the play. It's always been the play.

You didn't become selfish. You stopped performing availability for people who never asked how you were doing. You stopped absorbing problems that weren't yours to solve. You stopped treating your own needs like an afterthought while treating everyone else's like an emergency. That's not selfishness. That's a correction that was long overdue.

The people who call you selfish for having boundaries are telling you exactly why you need them.

01/09/2026

Finding those few safe relationships and spaces where we can grow, and nurture the parts of ourselves that we have had to shut down in the past, is life transforming!

We are relational creatures!
Yes we can do lots of healing by ourselves, and ultimately to really bring the deep healing we need relationships!
Safe Relationships grow our ability to trust others again, rewire our nervous system and feel a sense of safety to bring down our cortisol and stress responses, understand what's in our power, influence and control, and grow closer to the person we want to be.

Safe relationships and spaces can be anything from your own space at home, time with a friend, a counsellor, your sport team, work team or church.

The work starts with understanding the boundaries and where to find these safe relationships!

16/08/2026

Interesting perspective!
Thinking outside the box and having the courage to do something different and go against the grain can open your life to a new aliveness you never thought existed.
Do you want to have the courage to be you?

12/08/2026

Just one step for today 👣
Never underestimate the value of one small step. It may not seem enough on the individual day, but put 365 small steps together & that equals, if not exceeds a few big leaps with lots of procrastination & recovery in between.

Just one step every day. 💪🫶

12/08/2026

Babies learn to read emotions first, it's a survival instinct!

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMKfeVDSoiL/?igsh=MXF2bG43eWxxcmpncw==

11/08/2026

"It's through Vulnerability that intimacy grows"

Have you ever experienced a moment of vulnerability with a partner or friend, where you have shown your whole heart?

Expressed your deepest or darkest emotions or fears, and risked being rejected, only to be embraced in your pure form even more?

I have....
It's mind blowing.
It's soul tingling.
And not only forms a connection and intimacy with the other person... It also forms intimacy and connection with yourself.

It's life changing.
Transformational!
It sets a new benchmark in your relationships.

This is the work I do with my beautiful client.

If you're curious to learn more, and have a connected Christmas & New Year's Pm me.
I'd love to have a chat.

17/07/2026

So often in our relationships it can be easy to fall into rescuing the other person.

The skill that often needs to be learnt, by self-reflection and awareness is how to support, without rescuing, and still help the other person experience corrective emotional experiences that bring healing and empowers them to take responsibility, and maintain their autonomy rather than personal boundaries becoming enmeshed.

We can hold out our hand for support, and the other has to have the courage to take it.

17/07/2026

Lust will fade; friendship, actually likeing the other person, their mind, how they tic, respecting them and wanting to understand them will keep the flame lit, then effort will always be needed to stoke the fire! 🔥♨️