Behindthebehaviour

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Mum x2 • Teacher & Ex-Speechie
🌸 For heart-led mums giving their all
✨ You’re not alone in the chaos
🌿 Calm • Clarity • Connection
💛 Your heart deserves care too
👇 Gentle steps start here

05/10/2026

Key takeaways:

❤️Behaviour is what we see, not necessarily the actual difficulty.
❤️Instead of asking, “How do we stop this behaviour?”, ask, “What’s making this situation so difficult for this child?”
❤️Refusal, shutdowns, avoidance, swearing, walking out or explosions can be signals that something underneath is getting in the way.
❤️Look beneath behaviour for overwhelm, fear, sensory needs, communication difficulties, skills or expectations the child can’t yet meet.
❤️Shift the focus from controlling behaviour → understanding the child.
❤️Ask: “What skills does this child need to successfully meet this expectation?”
❤️Behaviour is the visible part. The real work is understanding what we can’t immediately see.

❤️Bottom line: Don’t just ask, “How do we stop the behaviour?” Ask, “What is this behaviour trying to tell us?” And most importantly, keep collaborating with your child, ask them empathetic questions.

04/10/2026

❤️Motherhood doesn’t mean putting your own dreams on hold forever.
❤️Being “realistic” can sometimes become another word for staying stuck in survival mode.
❤️Your children can thrive on paths that look different from the ones you once imagined.
❤️You don’t have to carry everyone else’s emotions or fix everything for everyone.
❤️Dreaming isn’t escaping reality. It’s imagining what you want to create beyond it.
❤️Don’t just picture the big success. Picture your ordinary Tuesday. How do you want your life to feel?
❤️Then ask: What is one tiny thing I can do today that moves me towards that woman and that life?
❤️You’re not wishing your life away. You’re creating a life you don’t need to escape from.
❤️Your children are allowed to have dreams for their lives. So are you.

If I could sit beside the little girl I used to be… I wouldn’t warn her about what’s coming. ❤️I’d tell her to stay exac...
03/10/2026

If I could sit beside the little girl I used to be… I wouldn’t warn her about what’s coming. ❤️

I’d tell her to stay exactly as she is.

Soft, curious, a little cheeky, full of hope.

I wouldn’t tell her about the heartbreaks, the mistakes, the people she’ll lose, the things she’ll desperately try to control, or the moments she’ll wonder if she’s enough.

I’d just tell her this:

You’re going to make it through all of it.

And one day, at 48, you’ll realise that growing older was never about becoming someone else.

It was about finding your way back to her❤️

Maybe healing isn’t becoming a new version of yourself.

Maybe it’s finally becoming the safe place your younger self needed.

Before you judge another mother’s choices, put on her shoes and walk her path.You can see a mother’s decisionsYou can’t ...
03/10/2026

Before you judge another mother’s choices, put on her shoes and walk her path.

You can see a mother’s decisions
You can’t always see what she’s carrying, what she’s survived, what she’s protecting, or how hard she’s trying.

We don’t need more judgement in motherhood.
We need more curiosity, compassion and “Tell me what I’m not seeing.” ❤️

03/10/2026

Key takeaways ❤️

❤️‍🩹We can’t control people, behaviour or outcomes. Trying to will exhaust us
❤️‍🩹Behaviour is something to understand, not simply control.
❤️‍🩹Motherhood has a funny way of challenging everything we thought we knew.
❤️‍🩹We don’t need all the answers. We need better questions.
❤️‍🩹Look beneath the behaviour … in our children, our students and ourselves
❤️‍🩹Less control, more curiosity, connection and understanding

26/05/2026

You are allowed to protect your peace.

Not because you deserve a reward. Because your home needs stability.

When you honour your limits - “I can’t talk about that right now,” “I need ten minutes,” “We’re not adding another activity” - you are modelling healthy boundaries.

Your child learns that needs matter. Including theirs.

Calm before correction. Connection over correction.

Self-care isn’t extra. It’s the foundation everything else stands on.

Your child refusing shoes hits something old in you - embarrassment, judgement, fear. That trigger doesn’t cancel your l...
25/05/2026

Your child refusing shoes hits something old in you - embarrassment, judgement, fear.
That trigger doesn’t cancel your love.
It just highlights where you need support too.

24/05/2026

If you’re honest, sometimes you just want it to be easier.

You want to walk into school without bracing yourself. You want homework without tears. You want one evening that flows.

Wanting ease doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.

And chasing perfect won’t give you ease.

Choosing connection might.

Lower the expectation that every moment has to prove you’re a good mum.

Instead, aim for one thing: calm before correction.

That’s where confidence quietly grows.

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Townsville, QLD

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