It Gets To Be BOTH

If you’ve been through a season or life of survival, remember it takes time.
Some seasons require learning how to breathe properly and deeply again.
Some seasons require crying everyday.
Some seasons require acknowledging your body’s bracing and clutching waiting for the worst to happen!

ACTIVATE ALIVENESS transformational women’s retreat
OCT 24/25/26
Sunshine Coast

The father wound. Fathers Day 👇🏼

The absence of safe, present, loving, protective fathers has left a generation of women and daughters quietly hurting.
Some grew up with fathers who were there physically but not emotionally.
Others had fathers who were unpredictable, critical, inconsistent or even harmful.
And many had fathers who simply weren’t there at all.

This wound leaves its mark.

It shows up in the way women relate to men, to love, to authority, even to themselves.
It can create a constant longing - for a man who finally makes them feel seen, chosen, safe, cherished.
It can also create patterns of mistrust, over-giving, self-abandonment, or running from intimacy altogether.

At the core, the ache is this:
⚡️”Will there ever be a man who stays?”
⚡️”Am I worthy of love, protection, choosing and devotion?”
⚡️”Can I finally rest in safety instead of bracing for disappointment?”
⚡️”The familiarity of waiting for him to get better, for him to step into his potential or to see yours - like the little girl once waiting for her dad to return”

Women long for a healthy relationship with men - whether it’s a father, a partner, or even their own sons one day.
They long to know that men can be good.
That love can be steady. That safety exists.

And here’s the truth:
Healing the father wound isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about breaking the cycles.
It’s about daughters becoming women who refuse to repeat the story of absence, betrayal, or silence.
It’s about learning to receive love without fear.
Creating safety within yourself, being able to trust yourself, your body, your own intuition.
It’s about discovering that their worth was never dependent on the father who didn’t know how to give it.

To every woman and daughter carrying this ache:
You are not broken.
You are not too much.
And you are worthy of a love that stays, protects, and cherishes you - both from the men in your life and from yourself.

This is the work of our generation.
To acknowledge the wound.
To grieve what was missing.
And to rise as women who no longer live from the ache, but from wholeness.

Because the story doesn’t end with the wound.
Awareness is one thing, change and transformation are another!

www.selfwithsk.com

Last night before I got on my monthly mentorship call I heard:
“You don’t carry anyone else’s sin but your own”

Offttt lets break it down.
Firstly this word sin - it’s a word that I used to have a contraction around, so outside religious structures lets talk about what it is and what it means.

SIN:
The English word sin comes from Old English synn (also syn), meaning “offense against God, moral wrong, misdeed.”
Further back, it’s connected to the root es-, meaning “to be,” which is also tied to “truth” and “being.”
So originally, sin was tied to missing what is true or being “guilty” of deviating from truth or right being.
At its core, sin means to miss the mark of God’s truth, to fall short of who we were created to be, or to live out of alignment with divine purpose.

Ah we all know what living out of alignment is and what it feels like. And we know the repercussions that come with that.
It’s less about a list of “bad behaviors” and more about:
Straying from truth.
Turning away from God’s design or plan.
Missing the fullness of life and destiny we were meant for.
Sin is separation - from truth, from God, from our true selves.
Its root meaning is “missing the mark” or “falling short,” which paints a very different (and more human) picture than just “rule breaking.”

Which brings to another conversation this week in my spaces.
How do you discern truth?
Where does your belief system come from?

These are important questions when we talk about the truth of who we are.

This week we’ve been diving into the lies, the untruths - we believe and accept about ourselves, others, and life.

What’s a lie and what’s true?
How do you decide that?

Another thing I witnessed this week in my spaces is how people want to chuck a truth on top of a lie and try to push the lie away instead of exploring it.
But the truth they are usually putting on top as a bandaid is actually perpetuating the lie.
Because there is massive difference in knowing truth, feeling truth and living, breathing and embodying the truth of who you are.

I also continue to witness when a client doesn’t have a firm foundation of beliefs and truths they build their life on, they actually struggle to access the TRUTH and their “truths” end up reconfirming the lies. Still a lie wrapped up in different language.

So what is real and true to you?
Are you living, breathing and embodying it?
Or are you “living in sin” - straying from the truth?

Back to the first statement.
Also make sure you’re not carrying, or internalising anyone else’s sin but your own!

If you knew you were at the very end of your days, what would suddenly matter?

What would you finally let go of? The grudges? The chasing?
The constant “I’ll get to it later”?
What would you stop saying yes to just to please someone else?
What would you stop postponing with the excuse of “someday”?

We spend our lives like we have endless time in the bank.
But the truth? Time isn’t a guarantee. It’s a gift.
And every single day, we choose how to invest it.

At the end of your story, will you wish you worked more hours… or that you laughed more belly laughs with the people you love?
That you said yes to those things that scare you and push you out of your comfort zone?
Will you wish you kept scrolling… or that you booked the trip, the retreat, the moment that cracked your heart wide open?
Will you regret the “someday” you kept pushing off… or will you be proud you lived fully in the now?

We don’t get to control how much time we have.
But we do get to control how we spend it.
Every decision is either a deposit into what matters most -
love, presence, connection, legacy, or a withdrawal into what never truly fills or sustains us.

So here’s the invitation:
Stop waiting for “one day.”
Stop rehearsing the life you’re going to live.
Stop putting your joy, your healing, your freedom your ALIVENESS
on lay-by.

Book the retreat. Make the call. Take the step.
Because the truth is - time isn’t waiting.
And what matters most deserves to be lived now.
BE THE WOMAN THAT WALKS THE WALK NOT JUST TALKS THE TALK!
Stop being a woman that flirts with possibilites and potential and BE IT!

BOOK A CALL (in the comments) or contact me direct on here or instagram

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠STELLA xx

Activate Aliveness Transformational Womens Retreat

Life has a way of throwing us into seasons where we quietly whisper…
“Something has to change.”

🌹 Redundancy or resignation? → Go to a retreat.
🌹 Breakup or divorce? → Go to a retreat.
🌹 Kids starting school, or leaving home? → Go to a retreat.
🌹 Identity crisis knocking at your door? → Go to a retreat.
🌹 Feeling flat, lost, stuck, or confused? → Go to a retreat.
🌹 Trying to find “your people”? → Go to a retreat.
🌹 Need some RnR that’s for YOU - not the whole family? → Go to a retreat.
🌹 Tired of taking yourself (and life) so seriously? → Go to a retreat.
🌹 Carrying emotions or experiences you’ve shoved deep down for years? → Go to a retreat.
🌹 Caught in the snowball of busyness, waiting for “one day”? → Go to a retreat.

This retreat is not just about escaping for a weekend. It’s the exhale you’ve been praying and longing for.
It’s about permission that you can onluy give yourself. Permission to pause, for presence, to breathe, to recalibrate, to reconnect with who you are beyond the noise, roles, and responsibilities.

At Activate Aliveness, you’ll:

👉🏼Step into a safe, supportive space with other women walking the same journey.
👉🏼Be guided through powerful experiences designed for deeper embodiment and SELF knowing!
👉🏼Reignite the spark of joy, freedom, and possibility. As well as YOUR SPARK!
👉🏼Remember the woman you were always created to be.

Because sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stop running on autopilot and choose that “one day” to be TODAY! 👇🏼✨

If you’re reading this then you probably have big dreams for a beautiful life - But you’ve been so focused on supporting others and putting yourself on the back burner, that you’ve forgotten what those dreams are.

Maybe you dream of writing a book, starting your own creative project or creating a space in your home where you can practice yoga or read.. Or learn another language - Something that's just for YOU!

Maybe you just long for a spa day or a long lunch with friends or to receive a huge bunch of flowers from somebody who appreciates you.

You’re not quite sure how you wandered so far away from yourself but the vibrant aliveness of your passion for life has slowly faded.

You never meant to bury your desires so deeply, but at this point - It’s hard to even identify what you want. It seems almost impossible to step toward something you’ve denied for so long.

Maybe deep down, you don’t even feel worthy of those things.

But your soul craves to be fully expressed and your heart is urging you to evolve - To take a leap into the unknown and find out what's truly possible.

Your soul is done hiding. Your heart is done pretending. And I know exactly what that feels like! Which is why I’ve created this retreat for women exactly like you

Activate Aliveness Retreat — Your invitation to rise, reconnect, remember and return to yourself.

DM “ALIVENESS” for more info 🫶🏼

Comparison is the thief of your JOY and TRUTH.

How many times have you whispered to yourself:
✨ I’m not smart enough
✨ I’m not worthy enough
✨ I’m not pretty enough

But pause for a second… in comparison to who or what exactly?

Where did you decide this?
When did you measure yourself against someone else’s highlight reel, and let that become the truth you live by?
What picture in your mind defines what “smart,” “worthy,” or “pretty” even look like?

The reality is - these are not truths.
They are lies that sneak into your mind and disguise themselves as fact.
Lies that, if left unchecked, silently dictate the way you live your life.

You see, your behaviours always tell the story.
When you don’t step forward.
When you hold yourself back.
When you play small in the room.
When you stay quiet, even though you have something burning inside you to share.

That is the evidence of the lies at work.

But here’s the good news: when you slow down, when you choose presence, you can start catching them. You can ask yourself:
🔎 Who told me this?
🔎 What story am I agreeing with?
🔎 What’s actually true about me, in the reflection of my soul?

And when unconsciously there is a thread of comparison you’ll subscribe to someone elses blueprint. The more you try to do it like HER the less you’ll be connected with the TRUTH of YOU!

The TRUTH is you are already smart.
Already worthy.
Already beautiful.
In your way - you are divinely and wonderfully made.

And the moment you decide to anchor yourself in that truth, comparison loses its grip.

Also one of my favourite sayings is:
“If you judge a fish on how well it can climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid”

✨ SEEN. SET FREE. SET APART. ✨

For so long, many women live behind masks.
We’ve been conditioned to shrink, silence our voice, or hide our true selves just to be accepted and loved.
But deep down, we ache to be seen - not just looked at, but truly known, explored, valued, and witnessed in our fullness.
Being truly seen is where shame loses its grip, and the truth of who we are can finally breathe.
But that requires the courage to allow the parts of us we deem wrong, negative, not enough and too much to feel exposed and witnessed.

But being seen is only the beginning.

What is everyone chasing? FREEDOM!
From what exactly?
Fear, guilt, patterns, strongholds, pain and suffering. We are called to be set free.
Free from the lies we’ve believed about ourselves.
Free from comparison, and criticism.
Free from generational cycles that do not serve our future or the legacy.
Yet FREEDOM won’t be achieved externally with all the money and time in the world if we are bound to our internal programs and prisons or enslaved to addictions and attachments.

And when you are both seen and set free, you can finally step into the life you were designed for:
SET APART!
Where you remember how to BE in the world without the need to BELONG to it.
Set apart doesn’t mean better than.
It means chosen.
It means carrying a unique calling and anointing that only you can walk out.
YOUR ESSENCE and YOUR LIGHT.
It means shining in your authenticity, rooted in true identity, and living with purpose that leaves a legacy.
It means learning to live with rejection from others as long as you never reject yourself again!

This is the heartbeat of my work.
To create spaces where women and girls can rise out of hiding or constant fixing and healing.

Because when women are seen, set free, and set apart, they don’t just change their own lives… they change families, communities, and generations.

IT GETS TO BE BOTH
Teen event - Oct 6th

ACTIVATE ALIVENESS
women’s transformational retreat
Oct 24/25/26

Sunshine Coast

IT GETS TO BE BOTH 🌹
A ONE DAY EVENT FOR TEENAGE GIRLS
(13-17 years old)
Confidence + Kindness.
Boldness + Sensitivity.
Playfulness + Depth.
A space to embody our BOTHness.

Right now, teenage girls are growing up in a world that pulls them in a million directions.
Be pretty, but not too much.
Be smart, but not intimidating.
Be confident, but humble.
Be real, but be filtered.

They’re constantly told who to be, how to look, what to care about, and how to belong.
The pressure is invisible, but it’s relentless.
And then add social media on top.

Underneath the surface, so many teens feel:
- Alone in their thoughts
- Disconnected from who they really are
- Overly focused on aesthetics rather than character
- Tired of trying to fit in
- Struggling with comparison, anxiety, overwhelm
- Constantly online, yet craving real connection
- Desperate to be seen, heard, understood

That’s why we created “IT GETS TO BE BOTH” - a fun one-day experience just for teen girls focused on both:
Our essence and inner world.
Plus the external, and how we present and move through the world - because IT GETS TO BE BOTH.

How can our young girls BE in the world without BELONGING to it.
To inspire and encourage them to be set apart.

⚡️WHAT TO EXPECT:
This isn’t your average “motivational” teen event.

Your girls will walk away with:
✨ A deeper relationship with themselves, their femininity and other women
✨ Practical tools to handle stress, comparison, and negative self talk
✨ A renewed sense of confidence and remembering their TRUE identity
✨ Real friendships that go beyond the surface
✨ A knowing that you don’t have to shrink to belong

Lets face it even grown women of today face appearance and aesthetic issues and insecurities, I’m not here to bypass that stuff - IT GETS TO BE BOTH.

We get to feel good and also want to look good!

The day will be broken down into 4 key components:
INNER:
Self love & Relationships
Femininity
OUTER:
Makeup lessons
Styling sessions

⚡️THIS IS FOR THE TEEN GIRL WHO:
-Feels like she’s lost herself a little bit, she’s maybe shut down or lost her sparkle
-Maybe looking for love or acceptance outside of herself
-Wants more than just scrolling and surface level friendships
-Loves to learn, reflect, and grow
-Has a natural creative flair
-Might be the “deep one” in her group or the “sensitive soul”
-Craves something real, raw, and life-giving
-Needs some wise counsel and feminine role models to support her through these formative years

DATE: Sat 4th OCT (school holidays)
LOCATION: Sunshine Coast
TIME: 10-3pm

Spots are limited. Because this is not about big crowds it’s about intimacy and real impact.

Tag a mama of a teen who needs to be in this room.
She won’t leave the same. ♥️
12 spots available ONLY

Call me a cop out. 😳
I was doing something for way too long that was killing me - not ACTIVATING MY ALIVENESS!
It’s been quite the transition and leap of faith to let it all go.

There is a way of living that brings your soul back to life. But first you’ve got to know the soul.
It’s usually loving gentle nudges and whispers.
With a dose of scary and strong convictions!
There is a way of living and working that gives you energy instead of draining it.
A way of being that feels like alignment, not effort.

It’s called your zone of genius.
The space where your gifts meet your joy.
Where you come alive, and others do in your presence.
Where it doesn’t feel like work, because it isn’t.
It’s purpose.

We spend years doing what we “should,” what’s comfortable or what we’re good at!
What’s safe. Predictable. Applauded.
We betray our brilliance and call it being responsible.

But deep down, we know:
That path leads to resentment.
To soul fragmentation and fatigue.
To a life that might look good, but feels off.

So what if you dared to choose different?
It’s never too late, to try or start again.

The world doesn’t need more women pushing through.
It needs more women fully lit up and ALIVE!

For sooooo long I’ve tried to fully choose my genius of events and retreats - but I kept defaulting.
For sooooo long I’ve tried to blend all my areas of expertise and passions into one - but I kept thinking I couldn’t!
For sooooo long I’ve wanted to work with children again - but I kept feeling like I had to choose!
For sooooo long I’ve wanted me out of my business, and to build something bigger and beyond me!
For sooooo long I’ve wanted a business where -
IT GETS TO BE BOTH!

IT GETS TO BE BOTH
Events . Retreats . Experiences
For women, teenage girls and mothers/daughters

After God asked me to start sharing my testimony each year of my life I’ve realised some things:

🕊️teenage years were soooo hard, I didn’t want to listen to my mum, but I also needed my mum and wise counsel more than ever to navigate the BIGNESS and BOTHNESS.
🕊️I wanted to badly to BELONG, and be LOVED to the crowd and the world - when we were actually born to be SET APART!
🕊️I wanted to have healthy and thriving relationships with girls/women - to feel safe, understood and to trust them.
🕊️I wanted my mother to see and support me, or through her own survival and busyness - find a service like this that could
🕊️for so long I felt being a woman was less than, because no one modelled to me our strengths and gifts as well as my own unique ones.
🕊️becoming a mother was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and still is - we were never meant to do it alone.
🕊️the mother/daughter relationship has been one of the most difficult and painful in my life. But my female friendships have been some of the best!
🕊️trying to heal a heap of cycles I didn’t ask for so my kids don’t have to repeat or carry it
🕊️feeling like I’m failing my son in the masculine role model department and realising there are young girls out there that need feminine role models

The list goes on….

These offerings will be set in stone moving forward, I won’t be constantly launching or releasing new services.
Private and corporate bookings as well as travel also available.
Welcome to - IT GETS TO BE BOTH 🌹