Charlotte Moore - Neurofocused Solutions

When we're not out and about training brains, we restore our brain fuel 🥰

Herx after a long day of regulating himself and helping our clients do the same.
What an absolute superstar this boy is at teaching the principle of:

"I will help you carry your bags WITH you, but I will NOT carry your bags FOR you."

🚫 He doesn't let anyone dump their nervous system energy on to him, he CHOOSES to calmly and politely opt out.

He moves in to people that connect with their nervous system and willingly offers his regulated nervous system to co-regulate theirs by sharing space, not touching.

Without saying a word, he shows this person how hearing your internal signals is the way to regulation and self care.
He also shows people that there's more power in observing your feelings than analysing them.

He doesn't care why someone has an emotion, he just cares what emotion it is, then he decides what action to take according to what they do in response to their emotion.

🤯🤯

If we humans took a leaf out of Herx's K9 brain book and applied the same boundaries and respect for our own nervous systems, the world sure would be a more balanced and joyful place.

Herx reinforces that feeling the feeling is ok. Displacing a feeling onto someone else is not.

Learn from Herx, if someone displaces their emotional dysregulation onto you, simply opt out until they learn to control their emotions and own them, then opt it and share the space of co-regulated safety.

You're not anyone's punching bag or door mat.
You don’t need to carry bags for anyone who's not willing to carry their own bags - that's called rescuing and leads to co-dependence.
You get to opt out!
Sure, help them when they're showing that they're trying to carry their own bags, but don't do it FOR them, only do it WITH them.

Keep it that simple to enjoy a drama free life 👍

Thanks Herx 🐾🐾

Happy brain training 🧠 💪

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐞
Stress Neurobiology Consultant & Translational Neuroscientist

"Understand your brain, behaviour and communication with neuroscience"
~ Charlotte Moore

✅️ Please feel free to contact me via private message, whatsapp, phone call, or email to ask any questions or discuss how I can help you.

🌐 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦.𝐚𝐮
📧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞@𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦
📞 𝟎𝟒𝟎𝟕𝟎𝟖𝟎𝟓𝟎𝟒

The 4 D's of destruction
• Dissection
• Displacement
• Distraction
• Disassociation

All coping mechanisms that a brain commonly uses for a nervous system that has detected "unsafe" and doesn't have a corresponding helpful roadmap.

Let's be honest, it's s**t scary touching base with emotions when we don’t have the roadmap to do it safely.

Remember the nervous system doesn’t detect "unsafe" with just physical threat. It detects "unsafe" with cognitive and social threat, throws it into the same bowl and makes a good egg pie with it.
It doesn't discriminate.
Threat is threat.
Threat detection = "unsafe"!

It just so happens that your threat detection centre is located in the depths of your unconscious brain to help you "just do it" to survive, not reason with how to best do it.

This is great when the threat is bloomin' intense, not so crash hot when the threat is a little ni**le in the pit of your stomach.

Hence the 4 D's of destruction...they're automatic, easy, cheap and accessible.

What have you learned to do over the years in response to your nervous system detecting threat?

• Dissect --> putting the focus on analysing it "I need to understand it".

• Displace --> Putting the emotion on something or someone to make it easier to deal with "It's your fault I feel angry" - hitting, bullying, projecting, blaming.

• Distract --> doing something that helps you shift your focus away from the feeling - extra work, misguided relationships, extreme hobbies, excessive socialisation, hyper-studying, unnecessary shopping, etc.

• Disassociate --> doing or thinking something that completely detaches you from the emotion all together.

These are the most common forms of "coping" mechanisms people utilise to help shift their nervous systems from feeling unsafe --> safe.

They often involve a tangible action and outcome.

But lurking in the shadows is the same signals that were there to begin with, trying to communicate with you like an extreme introvert in the back of the room that has something to tell you but knows they won't be heard.

These coping mechanisms are band aids, they don't restore safety!
They are temporary holding patterns designed to help you "cope" until you get to higher grounds where you can check what wounds are really there.

Try this instead:

👂LISTEN to your nervous system.
👂Listen to the emotional signals as they communicate to you ONE BY ONE.
📢 Let your nervous system feel heard as it signals to you "angry", "frustrated", "worried", "anxious".
🧐 STOP trying to analyse why, just listen!

Most of the time, when the nervous system feels heard, it automatically resolves the noise.

Happy brain training 🧠 💪

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐞
Stress Neurobiology Consultant & Translational Neuroscientist

"Understand your brain, behaviour and communication with neuroscience"
~ Charlotte Moore

✅️ Please feel free to contact me via private message, whatsapp, phone call, or email to ask any questions or discuss how I can help you.

🌐 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦.𝐚𝐮
📧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞@𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦
📞 𝟎𝟒𝟎𝟕𝟎𝟖𝟎𝟓𝟎𝟒

Failure...

It's a feeling not an action!
The action is "that didn't work, try something else." That's just nature's feedback system. The feeling you get from it not working is the failure. THIS needs your attention more than the action if you're stuck in a "guilt" loop or "blame" loop.

Instead of distracting yourself from the feeling, displacing the feeling in blame or dissecting the feeling to try and understand it, try doing this instead:

Find it, acknowledge it, say it, release it.

When you do this with ANY feeling, you neutralise it.

So if you want to stop feeling a feeling:
1) PAUSE, allow yourself to find the feeling
2) Acknowledge the feeling (NOT the opinion or the justification of it)
3) Say the single word out loud to help your brain know it is being heard and to slow it down more than a thought
4) Release it by breathing it out

Then once you've done that, notice if the emotion has decreased or disappeared.

(Strong emotions like anger may need this process repeated 3-5 times consecutively)

This technique will also lower your cortisol.

Happy brain training 🧠 💪

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐞
Stress Neurobiology Consultant & Translational Neuroscientist

"Understand your brain, behaviour and communication with neuroscience"
~ Charlotte Moore

✅️ Please feel free to contact me via private message, whatsapp, phone call, or email to ask any questions or discuss how I can help you.

🌐 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦.𝐚𝐮
📧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞@𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦
📞 𝟎𝟒𝟎𝟕𝟎𝟖𝟎𝟓𝟎𝟒

I have a lot of big feelings today, but they're mine to have, not yours to carry or fix.
I will find them, I will feel them and I will release them.
I will stand next to you whilst I do it, but I won't demand you do it for me.

Wait...

You look like you have a lot of feelings today.
Now I know they're yours to have and not mine to carry or fix.
If you want me to help you whilst you find them, feel them and release them, I will sit beside you, I will give you a safe space, but I will not do it for you.

I love you...

We deserve this.

Happy brain training 🧠 💪

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐞
Neuroscience Consultant & Translational Neuroscientist

"Understand your brain, behaviour and communication with neuroscience"
~ Charlotte Moore

✅️ Please feel free to contact me via private message, whatsapp, phone call, or email to ask any questions or discuss how I can help you.

🌐 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦.𝐚𝐮
📧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞@𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦
📞 𝟎𝟒𝟎𝟕𝟎𝟖𝟎𝟓𝟎𝟒

Your beautiful brain will help you when you pay attention to what it is saying.

Stop focusing on the "why" you feel like this for a moment, and focus on listening to "WHAT" your brain is telling you. Your brain's chemistry, wiring and structure is a by-product of constant internal communication signals.

⚠️ Important factor #1:
At the core of you 24/7 is a nervous system that is constantly communicating its findings to you.

It is communicating black and white biological data:
● "I am detecting safe" ✅️
Or
● "I am detecting unsafe" ❌️

📢 The thing is, this communication comes in various volumes, a little like a dimmer dial on a light switch.

🧨 Most people only hear it when their nervous system gets loud and starts shouting "UNSAFE! UNSAFE!" and even then, people still don't listen. This is problematic for the brain!
When it doesn't get heard, it has no choice but to get as loud as it possibly can for as long as it can until it collapses. I know this sounds familiar to a lot of people.
This is no different to when you don't feel heard by a loved one or a colleague.

• How loud do you need to get to feel heard (share your signal)?
• How long do you need to get loud for before you shut down or walk out (collapse)?
• What do you learn about trusting yourself from how loud you have to get?
• How hypervigilant do you become about future interactions and building connections?

🧠 Your nervous system is doing the same thing every time you ignore it. It collects that data and stores it as:
"oh I have to get this loud before he listens to me" and
"he makes decisions that go against my signals because Sheryl said "don't worry, you're just being oversensitive" 😮‍💨". - Not helpful Sheryl! 🤭

👂 Learn to listen to your nervous system signals when it whispers to you.

⚠️ Here's important factor #2:

You're nervous system is giving you information NOT instructions!

This means, just because you hear your nervous system saying "I am detecting unsafe" it doesn't automatically mean you need to run away from discomfort or the perceived problem.

Remember, it is information NOT instructions!

💭 If you actively listen to your nervous system signals, stay attuned with them throughout the discomfort and WATCH FOR CHANGES upward (more unsafe) or downward (less unsafe), you'll be able to make conscious, confident, self-agency based decisions that advocate for your internal safety whilst simultaneously building resilience.
P.S You'll also be more likely to override Sheryl's unhelpful opinions 😉

Happy brain training 🧠 💪

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐞
Neuroscience Consultant & Translational Neuroscientist

"Understand your brain, behaviour and communication with neuroscience"
~ Charlotte Moore

✅️ Please feel free to contact me via private message, whatsapp, phone call, or email to ask any questions or discuss how I can help you.

🌐 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦.𝐚𝐮
📧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞@𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦
📞 𝟎𝟒𝟎𝟕𝟎𝟖𝟎𝟓𝟎𝟒

When you allow yourself to feel failure, something special happens...
You stop fearing it.

🧠 What do you do to help yourself when you feel "triggered" by something or someone?

💭 Whether it is in the moment or in the aftermath of your cortisol surge, what do you do that helps you?

💭 Is what you do reactive or responsive?

💭 Do you have a specific strategy or process you follow?

It's often easy to tell that you had a surge of cortisol in aftermath, and it's often easy to associate it with a person, place or thing, but have you ever thought about what you did in RESPONSE (not reaction) to the stimulus AND have you ever created a roadmap for yourself for if you felt that way again?

🎯 One that empowers you rather than causes you to defend yourself?

Happy brain training 🧠 💪

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐞
Neuroscience Consultant & Translational Neuroscientist

"Understand your brain, behaviour and communication with neuroscience"
~ Charlotte Moore

✅️ Please feel free to contact me via private message, whatsapp, phone call, or email to ask any questions or discuss how I can help you.

🌐 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦.𝐚𝐮
📧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞@𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.𝐜𝐨𝐦
📞 𝟎𝟒𝟎𝟕𝟎𝟖𝟎𝟓𝟎𝟒

It can be hard to find the answers sometimes, or the right person to help you.

Not all mental health care professionals are made equally.
The right person is out there for you, you just need to keep trying if you haven't found them yet.

It can help if you know exactly what it is you're looking for:
● someone to just listen
● someone to offer advice
● someone to diagnose you
● someone to help you understand
● someone to teach you skills
● someone to understand you
● someone to combine these things

Then, you also need to make sure the person you choose is compatible for you, someone you feel safe to be vulnerable with.

It's 100% ok if you try someone and you find that they don't quite fit what you're looking for.

It's not failure, it's just feedback!

Don't give up, keep trying, the right person is out there for you!

You're worth it!

Happy brain training 🧠 💪

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐞
Trauma & Stress Neurobiology Consultant | Translational Neuroscientist