The Empowerment Adventure

Jo has dodged a divorce...

Working on herself has given her new tools and skills to change the things in her life she wasn't happy with.

This is so much more empowering than blaming someone else for your issues.

Celebrate Jo's courage and as she enters a new stage of her life. She's going to be a winner either way as she's taken control and not leaving her future up to chance,

We are very proud of her.

Fiona x

HURT PEOPLE HURT: How Parents Can Reconnect with Their Kids After Divorce

Divorce is a life-altering experience that can leave both parents feeling isolated and hurt. As they navigate their emotional turmoil, it’s not uncommon for either parent to inadvertently push their children away. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for rebuilding connections and fostering a nurturing environment.

When a marriage ends, feelings of sadness and betrayal can be overwhelming for both parents. They may grapple with feelings of inadequacy, especially if one parent seems to move on more easily. This emotional distress can lead to withdrawal from their children, who may not know how to help but instinctively seek comfort and stability elsewhere.

It’s important that we understand the Kids’ Perspective…

Children often gravitate toward environments that feel rewarding, easy, and fun. They may choose to spend more time with one parent, not out of malice, but because they’re seeking emotional security during turbulent times. This behaviour can exacerbate feelings of rejection in the other parent, creating a cycle of hurt and alienation.

The first step in breaking this cycle is self-awareness. Parents must recognise their emotions and understand how these feelings impact their relationships with their children. Acknowledging personal pain is vital, but it’s equally important to prioritise self-care and healing.

Both parents can begin to rebuild their self-worth by focusing on personal growth. Engaging in activities that foster joy and fulfillment can significantly improve one’s outlook. This might include pursuing hobbies, fostering friendships, and learning to master their mind through divorce recovery coaching. As parents learn to love and value themselves, they become more positive and fun to be around, which naturally draws children back into their lives.

We need to create two healthy families where there once was one.

It’s essential to shift the narrative from “them or me” to a more collaborative approach. Children can maintain meaningful relationships with both parents, and a parent’s attitude plays a critical role in facilitating this dynamic. By cultivating an environment of acceptance and love, parents can encourage their children to appreciate the unique qualities each parent brings.

The Importance of Emotional Mastery:
Learning to manage emotions is key to healing. By developing emotional intelligence, parents can better navigate their feelings and respond to their children’s needs. This not only helps in rebuilding trust but also establishes a stable, nurturing environment for the kids.

The Path Forward:
Parents should remember that their worth is not defined by their financial situation or material gifts. It is rooted in their ability to love and connect. By focusing on personal healing, they can create a life filled with joy and acceptance, which in turn will attract their children back into their lives.

While the journey through divorce can feel lonely and painful, it is possible to emerge stronger and more connected. By prioritising self-care and emotional healing, parents can redefine their relationships with their children. The goal is not just to survive but to thrive, fostering a loving and supportive environment where everyone can heal together.

In the end, the love and connection that children long for is ultimately a reflection of the love and acceptance parents cultivate within themselves. As they heal, they become the stable, influential role models their children need, paving the way for deeper, more meaningful connections.

My experience is that no kid escapes their parents divorce unscathed, regardless of their age when their parents divorced. I see a lot of older kids/adults being left with scars that impact their lives and relationships and unless they get help to heal and grow beyond their pain, it stays with them.

If you want to heal, know that it’s possible to do.

Fiona May ❤️🙏🏼😀✅

Can you imagine how hard it is for a midlife woman to start online dating?

Navigating the Dating World is tough… but when you've been out of it for 20 or 30 years, it can be downright confusing and frustrating.

Midlife Women often find they end up in the “Friend Zone”… rather than being seen as a suitable partner for a man with high values.

Many hardworking and successful women get along better with men than with women. They find it easier to be tapped into their masculine energy, but this can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities.

These women sometimes have forgotten how to be flirty, giggly and soft because they've had to be providers, take on all theresponsivility and be the breadwinner. Through necessity they become competent and self starters. They are doers so often feel a lack of connection over feminine women, viewing themselves as more compatible with men.

Instead of embracing their femininity, they forge friendships that lack romantic potential, positioning themselves as "one of the guys" rather than a potential partner.

But here’s the shift they need to take that next step in their dating journey.

No more apologizing for wanting a relationship.

No more downplaying your desires.

It’s time to embrace your true self and attract the connection you deserve.

Here’s the reality:

You might get stuck in the friend zone if you don't learn how to be feminine, and while your male friends appreciate your company, they may not see you as a romantic interest.

You don’t need to completely change who you are to get noticed.

Instead, you need a few strategic adjustments in how you present yourself in dating scenarios.

That’s where expert divorce recovery and midlife dating coaching comes in.

We focus on real strategies that empower women to properly prepare for love... So they can express their desires confidently, ask for what they want, have healthy boundaries and know how to choose great partners.

If you’re ready to transition from being a friend to a partner, this is your moment to take action and learn how to SHINE and set yourself apart from all the women who end up giving up because they don't get the results they want.

Reach out and book a free call if you’d like to learn how to properly prepare yourself to find a magnificent man.

Talk soon,

Fiona May

LOSING YOUR KIDS LOVE AFTER DIVORCE

Hello, beautiful souls. If you’re reading this, you might be feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. You might be trying to or already have navigated the storm of divorce, and now, you’re facing the heart-wrenching reality of strained or estranged relationships with your children. I want you to know: “You are not alone”.

It’s something we see and hear often, and for Mumma Bears, it’s heartbreaking. You need to acknowledge your pain by honouring your feelings. The pain, the unfairness, the confusion—it’s real, and it’s heavy. You may feel as though you’ve lost not just a partner, but also a vital connection to your children. The love you have for them is immeasurable, yet the distance can feel insurmountable. It’s okay to grieve that loss.

Divorce changes everything. It can create rifts that seem impossible to mend. But here’s the beautiful truth: “Healing is possible.”

There is Power in healing enough so you have an Open Heart and don’t change the beautiful woman you are because you’ve been hurt.

In the midst of this turmoil, it’s vital to keep your heart open. Closing off to protect yourself may feel like the right move, but it only deepens the divide. Instead, choose to embrace vulnerability. Love conquers everything so let it be your guiding light.

Here are some strategies to help you navigate this challenging journey:

1. Learn to be Self-Compassionate

You’re navigating uncharted waters and you haven’t been given a rule book or taught skills to do things differently from the way you’ve done them up to date. It’s crucial to be gentle with yourself as you move forward. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment and look at how you can grow your understanding so you can communicate more effectively with your children. You are doing the best you can in a tough situation so if you are open to learning, it will hold the key to your freedom and be a breakthrough from the pain.

2. Communicate with Love

What I’ve found to be true is kids cut off and put their protective walls up when they are hurting. The reality is “hurt people hurt others”. Common advice given is to reach out and keep trying to connect to your children but this is the worst thing to do IF YOU ARE HURT and defending yourself. They don’t know how to “fix” you or the situation. What I always suggest is using a “rebuilding love” strategy and it requires you to do some CORE inner healing work so you understand your kids hurt and can “speak to their pain” when you reach out. You sharing your feelings is not what they need to hear when they are suffering. Often they want to “subconsciously punish you” so you need to be emotionally mature and brave enough to hear them and let love lead the conversation. When communicating, be inquisitive as to how you’ve hurt them, what their “story is” and find out what they need to hear from you.

3. Be The Adult and Create New Traditions

If your kids are hurting, they will want you to apologise and make amends. This is hard to do if you are committed to maintaining your position and wanting to be right. Finding small ways to reconnect is possible when they see you healing, growing and learning to love again. Once you begin to heal and you understand your kids pain, you can begin to rebuild the lost love. Whether it’s a weekly text message, a monthly phone call, a handwritten letter, or even a shared hobby, these new traditions can pave the way for healing. It’s about you increasing your emotional intelligence so you can communicate in a way they can hear you and taking baby steps toward rebuilding that connection.

4. Seek Support

You don’t have to walk this path alone. Consider working with a divorce recovery coach who understands your journey. Sharing your experiences with others who have walked similar roads can be incredibly healing and provide you with new tools and skills so you can still be happy even when your heart is broken. Your job is to rebuild yourself, so you can reconnect with your kids in a mutually satisfying way, and live a fulfilling life regardless of how your kids treat you.

5. Embrace Forgiveness—For Yourself and Them

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It doesn’t mean you condone what happened; it means you’re choosing to release the burden of resentment. This process can be transformative, allowing you to love more freely, even from afar.

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, reconciliation may not be possible just yet. You can still love your children from a distance. Channel your energy into nurturing your own heart and soul. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. When you radiate positivity, you create a ripple effect that can reach your loved ones, even if they’re not in your immediate circle.

Your Journey Ahead

As you move forward, remember: “Your story isn’t over.” This chapter may be painful, but it’s also an opportunity for growth, resilience, and the discovery of new depths of love. You may have been trading love to get love so learning all about the different levels of love could be a real breakthrough for you. You’re stronger than you realise, and you have the power to create a future filled with hope and connection.

I know this can be a hard and confusing cross to bear but it’s vital you keep that beautiful heart of yours open. You deserve healing, love, and the chance to mend the rifts in your life—whether that’s with your children or within yourself.

Remember: Healing is not a destination, but a journey. Embrace every step.

With love and light,
Fiona May x

Ps. I use a proven and successful rebuilding strategy with my clients so if what I say resonates with you, send me a message and we’ll arrange to chat.

BLINDSIDED?
For the ladies who didn't see the end of their marriage happening and were blindsided, it’s a unique pain and it's hard to understand if you haven't been through it.

Married one day, single the next.
A loving partner one day, a stranger the next.
A happy family home, suddenly quiet and still.
Children doing well one day, are now confused and torn.
And now your forever man who you were going to retire with, is out there with another woman and treating her to the life you were supposed to have.

Your life, identity and future walked out the door the day he did…
It's sad and heartbreaking and at the time it feels like you can't breathe… and you wonder if you'll get through it…
But you can rebuild, regain your confidence, and make sense of the relationship loss and how it broke down IF YOU GROW BEYOND THE PAIN.
If you don't, you'll stay stuck, ruminating about the past and hoping, wishing and praying for things to be different.

Time doesn't heal... HEALING HEALS.

Don't waste your time being sad, angry, depressed or thinking about your ex.

It's time to focus on yourself. It's your time to become the best person you can be. Focus on regaining your confidence and creating a life that makes you happy. You deserve it. If I can do it you can too. ❤️

I hate to see women suffer so if you know in your heart you don't want to be a victim of your circumstances, be a VICTOR instead.

There are women who have gone before you who can show you the way. You are beautiful and deserve to be happy so wipe your tears, put your big girl pants on and let's create a new life for you.

You've got this and we've got you!

Fiona May and Sandra Lee ❤️🙏👍✔️💃

Why Every High-Achieving Woman Needs a Divorce Recovery Coach

Hey there, powerhouse! If you’re navigating the emotional rollercoaster of divorce, you might be feeling a bit lost. But guess what? You don’t have to go through this alone. A Divorce Recovery Coach can be your secret weapon, helping you not just survive but truly thrive in this new chapter of your life. Let’s dive into why having a coach can be a game changer for ambitious women like you.

1. Your Personal Support System

Divorce can stir up a storm of emotions—anger, sadness, confusion, and everything in between. Having a Divorce Recovery Coach means you have someone in your corner who gets it. They’re there to listen and give you the right advice to move forward, plus offer a shoulder to lean on, and remind you that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Sometimes, just knowing someone understands can make all the difference.

2. Empowerment with Real Tools

Let’s be real: you’re a high achiever, and you don’t want to just wallow in your feelings. A coach arms you with practical tools to tackle stress and anxiety head-on. You’ll learn techniques that fit your lifestyle, allowing you to reclaim control over your emotions and future. It’s about turning that pain into power!

3. Accountability for Your Growth

With everything on your plate, it’s easy to push your own growth to the back burner. A Divorce Recovery Coach holds you accountable, keeping you focused on your goals. They’ll check in on your progress and encourage you to prioritize yourself. You’ll be amazed at what you can achieve with a little nudge!

4. Clarity in Decision-Making

Divorce comes with a ton of decisions, from co-parenting strategies to career shifts. A coach helps you cut through the noise, giving you the clarity you need to make choices that resonate with your true self. You’ll step into your power and make those decisions with confidence.

5. Mastering Conflict with Grace

Dealing with an ex can be one of the toughest parts of the process. A coach provides you with strategies to handle those tricky interactions, helping you maintain your sanity and dignity. You’ll learn how to navigate conflict in a way that keeps you calm and collected.

6. Crafting Your New Beginning

This isn’t just about getting through divorce; it’s about creating an exciting new chapter. Your coach will help you dream big and set achievable goals, whether that’s diving back into your career, exploring new passions, or simply finding joy in everyday life. You’ll be inspired to take actionable steps toward the future you want.

7. Flourishing After Loss

Ultimately, working with a Divorce Recovery Coach isn’t just about recovery; it’s about flourishing. You’ll discover your strengths, reignite your passions, and create a life that reflects who you truly are. No more just existing—let’s get you thriving!

So, if you’re a high-achieving woman ready to turn the page and embrace a vibrant new life after divorce, a Divorce Recovery Coach could be just what you need. With their support, empowerment, and accountability, you’ll be on your way to living your best life yet.

If you want to chat to me or Sandra Lee about how we can help you, send either of us a message. We've done it for ourselves and we'd be happy to show you how to heal and create an exciting and fulfilling new life and enjoy every single day.

Fiona May and Sandra Lee ❤️🙏👍✔️
Women On Transition

Sandra Lee and I love transforming ladies' lives after divorce... This is what one of our beautiful clients said after attending the Reset & Shine 3-day events.

"After what was a wonderful weekend meeting all the wonderful women at the recent Melbourne RESET YOUR LIFE & SHINE, I left feeling refreshed with practical tools and resetting my goals.

I made the decision to celebrate the turn of my 6th decade overseas. For my 5th decade, I took some girlfriends with me, this time I’m going solo!

It’s been fun planning it - Italy, Croatia, Slovenia and Hungary. Lots of nature, delicious food and meeting new people from all over the place.

There are about 5 days I’m totally solo which will be interesting to plan out but I’m excited.

This is what the SHINE PROGRAM has led me to - a stronger, braver, adventurous, happier Woman after my divorce!

It couldn’t have happened without the coaching, vision board, goal setting, persistence, amazing tools and encouragement. My little side hustle has helped make this happen which also came from Shine! I love my Shiney tribe." Lee H.

More details here: https://bit.ly/m/Women-On-Transition

🧠 3 Essential Brain SCIENCE SECRETS that you need to know about to HEAL after DIVORCE

Healing after divorce doesn't happen in support groups, on social media, or even in a therapists office. It happens in your brain... specifically, in your subconscious mind.

You are actually 100% in control of the way you feel and heal.

Does that sound new and maybe a little too optimistic? I understand. As Australia's #1 Divorce Recovery Coach, I've helped countless women rediscover their shine after the darkness of divorce.

As a non “woo woo” coach, I study the science of the mind and I don't buy into the myths peddled about the best way to heal from a divorce. I never believe anything unless it's science-based and I have evidence it's the best known method and it gives us the most effective results. You may not consider yourself an expert in this field, but I can guess that you appreciate facts.

Since we're talking about recovering from a relationship loss or successfully navigating a divorce, I want to share 3 scientific truths that helped me, and the women in my Shine Program, understand how to heal after divorce so we could get unstuck and move forward again quickly and minimise the negative impact.

👉The Science of Emotional Healing: 3 Scientific Truths about the human brain

1️⃣The brain is capable of developing new thoughts and patterns by recognising the connections and pathways between nerve cells. This is called neuroplasticity. But, the brain continues to use the same old connections and pathways, out of habit and efficiency, until it is taught to change - either consciously or by an external threat.

2️⃣The brain is also designed to be efficient and conserve energy in any way possible. This is why it might feel hard to start exercising or resist an extra helping of food. Exercising costs the body energy, while taking in food-calories adds to the energy reserve. This is also why change is hard.

3️⃣The brain can be "trained" (just like a muscle) through repetition and conscious intent, to do new things, feel better emotions, and perform at different levels. And, using the brain to express emotions (by talking about them, writing about them, becoming aware of them, naming them, etc) significantly reduces stress. Allowing the brain to grow and develop can delay the effects of aging and increase feelings of ease and wellbeing. (Who doesn't want that?)

What does this mean for healing after heartbreak or a divorce?

If you want to experience rapid and profound changes in life, and specifically, feel better after a relationship loss or divorce, do these 3 things:

🧠Become aware of the way your brain is currently organised. In other words, become conscious of your subconscious beliefs and thoughts.

🧠Reduce stress about uncomfortable feelings (shame, grief, anger, guilt) by expressing them in a structured way in a safe environment.

🧠Change the way the brain cells connect to each other and "reroute" the thought patterns that make you feel bad or stuck. Make new thought habits through practice and repetition.

If your next question is HOW????...the Shine Program is the answer.

The Shine Program is my science-backed 12-week life transforming program for women who are ready to heal the brain burnout that happened over their lifetime and has led to them having a relationship loss or divorce. In the Shine Program:

We'll dive into the subconscious thoughts and programming (privately and safely) that create divorce burnout and keep us stuck. This is where we begin to see the beliefs and habits that are getting in the way so we can consciously change them.

Then, we'll start "reprogramming" your brain's connections and teaching it different thoughts, beliefs, and patterns. You'll harness the power of your brain's neuroplasticity to create a new future reality.

Next, we'll reinforce those new (and better) thought habits through practice and repetition, so you can stop coping in the moment and truly become the healed woman who takes action to leave her pain, loss and negativity behind and fall in love with her new life.

Sound good?

Send me a private message or email [email protected] if you think the Shine Program is your next step on the healing journey. I'll ask a few questions to see if it's a good fit for you and we'll take it from there. The best time to start is... now. Can't wait to hear from you.

The Impact of Divorce Grief on Your Brain

Divorce grief is a profoundly personal experience, and it’s essential to recognize that it affects not just your emotions but also your physical well-being. Here’s how your brain and body respond to this significant loss:

Emotional Pain and Its Physical Manifestation

1. **Heartache as Physical Pain**
The familiar ache in your heart isn’t just a metaphor. Research indicates that grief activates the pain centers in your brain, making emotional pain feel very real. Your mind attempts to process this emotional wound by interpreting it as physical pain, which can make your grief feel intense and overwhelming.

2. **Cognitive Fog**
If you've been experiencing confusion or difficulty making decisions, you're not alone. Many individuals going through grief encounter what’s known as "widow's fog." This occurs because the brain regions responsible for decision-making and emotional regulation may become less active while you process your grief. It’s important to be patient with yourself during this challenging time.

3. **Loss of Joy**
Activities that once brought you happiness may feel dull or uninteresting. Grief can impact the brain's reward centers, shifting its focus to processing your loss. This doesn’t mean you won’t experience joy again; it’s simply that your brain is currently prioritizing grief.

Physical Effects of Grief

Divorce grief extends beyond emotional distress; it can affect your entire body:

1. **Heightened Stress Response**
Your body may be in a constant state of alert, producing increased levels of stress hormones like cortisol. This response is your body’s way of protecting you from further harm. As a result, you might feel anxious, have trouble sleeping, or experience digestive issues. Remember, these reactions are normal responses to an abnormal situation.

2. **Emotional Ups and Downs**
You may experience fluctuating emotions, feeling overwhelmed one day and numb the next. This is your body’s way of adjusting to a new normal, and it’s vital to treat yourself with kindness during this period.

Impact on Your Immune System

Grief can also weaken your body’s defenses:

1. **Increased Vulnerability**
You might notice that you’re more susceptible to illnesses or feel fatigued. This happens because grief can temporarily compromise your immune system as your body focuses its energy on processing loss.

2. **Physical Exhaustion**
The stress associated with grief can lead to inflammation, causing feelings of exhaustion or physical discomfort. Taking care of your health during this time is crucial and not a selfish act.

Healing and Finding Hope

While the journey through grief can be daunting, there is hope for healing:

1. **Brain Resilience**
Your brain has a remarkable capacity to heal and adapt. Programs like the SHINE DIVORCE RECOVERY PROGRAM have helped many individuals rediscover joy and meaning in life without solely relying on time or the traditional stages of grief. This process doesn’t mean you’ll forget your past; instead, it allows your brain to integrate both love and loss.

2. **Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence**
Techniques such as mindfulness and meditation can aid your brain in regaining balance. While these practices are beneficial, they complement deeper healing and emotional growth, which can be facilitated through transitional coaching. This approach helps you process your divorce grief in healthier ways.

By understanding the profound effects of divorce grief has on your whole body, you may like to be kind to yourself and see expert guidance from Fiona May and her Women On Transition - Heal, Grow & Love after Separation or Divorce team.

Fiona May and Sandra Lee xx

The Liberating Power of Being You True, Authentic Self!

In my work the most common themes I hear from clients is a deep-seated feeling that they have gotten off track from who they truly are and what is most meaningful to them. It’s so easy to get bogged down by circumstances, relationships, or routines that no longer align with their core values and desires and it takes a conscious effort to realign to our true needs.

While the external pressures of daily life can certainly steer us away from our true north at times, staying disconnected from our inner truth ultimately breeds feelings of emptiness, dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment. It is only when we acknowledge who we really are beneath the surface roles and expectations that we find the strength and wisdom to reshape our lives into something more authentic.

This process of self-authenticity - getting crystal clear on our personal strengths, preferences and life purpose then having the courage to live from that genuine place - is one of the most psychologically and spiritually liberating things we can do. However, it requires peeling back the layers of conditioning, fears and doubts that have built up over years of compromising orpeople-pleasing. It demands that we listen to our inner voices over outer influences and replace shoulds and oughts with an internal compass of wants, needs and passions.

While the journey of self-discovery is lifelong, making a firm commitment to get real with ourselves is the first step to channeling our energy into meaningful goals rather than drifting through default routines. With authenticity as our guide, we gain the clarity and confidence to let go of anyone or anything holding us back from becoming our best selves. We open the doors to new opportunities that feed both our souls and lives with deeper purpose.

For those feeling adrift or disenchanted, I encourage exploring ways to reconnect with your most inherent qualities through mindful reflection, journaling and trying new experiences. Seek out role models who inspire you to fully embrace your uniqueness. Have compassion for yourself as you shed layers of conditional masks that no longer serve your evolution.

True freedom lies in recognizing that you need not settle for any life that does not thrill your authentic spirit. With perseverance, we can all sculpt lives of profound significance and joy by staying dedicated to the rhythms of our internal souls rather than external expectations alone. Our world greatly benefits from the invaluable gifts only you have to offer when you walk through it as your whole, real self.

Being happy, free and true to yourself opens us up to bridging the gap between nationality, location and circumstances.

We all have the same 6 human needs but value them in different orders. At the end of the day we all want significance, certainty, variety, love and connection, growth and to contribute beyond ourselves.

Knowing who we are at a core level and coming from love and compassion instead of fear and judgement allows us to shine our light and make the most impact in this funny old world we live in.

Are you shining your light?

This is Kristine, one of our VA’s from the Phillipines. Being able to invite her to join us in Bali was a lifetime dream for her and it feels so good to contribute to her life. She supports our clients and it feels good to give something back to her to acknowledge her dedication and how she contributes to others.

Is there someone in your life you could acknowledge for what they do for you? It feels good to give!
❤️🙏🏼😀✅✔️🎉👍🏻