19/08/2026
My very first job in fitness was as a sales rep for a gym chain, and over the last 17 years, I've worked for or managed over a dozen gyms & know their sales processes inside and out.
The average gym's idea is that once you come in, we have to use every trick in the book so you don't leave without buying a membership.
Following a script, they ask you to reveal everything about how fat, useless, depressed, weak, or sore you are, then leverage off your negative self worth or lack of physical fitness and manipulate you into believing that gym has the answer to all of your problems.
They remind you that when you stop working out, you'll go back to being a fat, useless, depressed, weak piece of s**t.
Then, if capitalizing on your negativity about yourself doesn't work, they get permission from the sales manager to drop the admin and/or joining fees. (Tip: If you do join a globo gym and you know you want to join, tell them you'll join on the spot if they waive the fees and you'll save yourself this whole process.)
After all this, they ask you to go through your phone and refer ALL your friends, even though they've done sweet f**k all to help you achieve what you came in for in the first place.
Deadlifts and Deathmetal is the antithesis to this.
We do the EXACT opposite.
If you come in for a free trial, we aim to solve a lifting problem you have in under 45 minutes.
Deadlifts stalled?
We'll help you get a PB.
Squats feel s**t?
That's probably because you're doing a low bar squat pattern with the bar up too high on your back.
Knee hurts?
Now it doesn't, because we revealed that your knee issues are actually coming from somewhere else and showed you how and why to manage it.
After we solve your problem in that first session, we will ask if you want to come back. If we're particularly busy, we will run the next session and then follow up with an email the next day.
That's it.
No pressure, no manipulation, no making you feel like a piece of s**t just so we can get your business. We're too autistic and empathetic for that, and not only is it gross for you, it feels f**ken gross for us too.
F**k the fitness industry.
We can do better. See less
