Emily Jayne Wellness

Everybody gets to experience pleasure and secsual expression in their own way- it doesn’t need to be a performance, in fact it gets to connect you deeper to your self and/or partner(s).

Unless we’re role playing performance doesn’t help anyone in the bedroom…

Pleasure as a rebellion? Sign me up!

Pleasure has been for decades if not centuries regarded by society as something frivolous and pointless especially in recent hustle culture.

However pleasure is actually a great tool to regulate your own nervous system, co-regulate with another and has the possibility to impact other people’s behaviours as seems in a study on group meditation that reduced violent crime rates by 18%.

If you have been feeling the effects of the news and what is happening in the world you aren’t alone. Prioritising your pleasure can be a gentle way back to presence and attunement to self.

Not sure where to start? Comment ‘FCKPERFECT’ to get a somatic practice and guidebook sent to you💗

You are allowed to want to enjoy secs and let go of the beliefs (that aren’t yours) that are telling you otherwise.

Letting go of conditioned beliefs allows you freedom to choose your own beliefs moving forward.

Asking for what you want in the bedroom can feel vulnerable as hell.

Especially when using a voice for needs hasn’t always felt safe… or when the fear of rejection is sitting right under the surface.

But pleasure grows through communication. And communication is a skill that can be learned.

Here are 3 steps that make asking for what’s wanted feel a lot easier:

1. Know what’s actually wanted.
Is the feeling not this right now?
Or is it something specific like wanting a slower touch or a different kind of connection?

Specific requests make it easier for partners to meet desires.
And if the answer isn’t clear yet, asking for something different or asking to pause is still valid.

2. Regulate the nervous system first.
Before speaking, find a sense of safety in the body.
That could look like:
• noticing exits in the room
• feeling the weight of gravity through the feet or body
• taking a few slow breaths

(Bonus points for doing all three.)

3. Express with curiosity, not criticism.

Instead of correcting or judging, try inviting exploration:

“Hey babe, I love when you ___, it makes me feel really connected to you. Do you think we could try ___ tonight?”

or

“I’ve been feeling curious about exploring different things together to deepen our connection. I’m not exactly sure what yet, but I’d love to get playful and explore with you. Would you be open to that?”

Pleasure isn’t about mind-reading.
It’s about learning each other in real time.

And that starts with giving desire a voice.

Comment FCKPERFECT for my free embodied audio practice to start exploring what you truly want in and out of the bedroom.

Secs coaching is not the equivalent of sports coaching for the bedroom 🤣

Better secs usually starts long before anyone takes their clothes off.

Despite popular belief:

❌ I don’t work in clients’ bedrooms
❌ There’s no nudity on calls
❌ There’s definitely no ge***al touching
❌ No one’s secs life is judged
❌ We almost never talk about positions

What we actually talk about most:

✔ desire
✔ nervous systems
✔ intimacy outside the bedroom
✔ emotional safety
✔ what happens before and after secs

Turns out better secs usually has a lot less to do with technique…
and a lot more to do with everything around it.

Women aren’t born with low libido.

They’re raised on fear-based s*x education.

Taught how to prevent pregnancy.
Warned about STIs.
Taught how to perform.

But never taught:
• how desire actually works in a female body
• that arousal is responsive and cyclical
• that pleasure is a skill
• that the nervous system shapes turn-on
• that pleasure is essential in day-to-day life

So when secs feels flat…
When desire shifts in long-term relationships…
When the body doesn’t respond the same way…

It gets labelled “low libido.”

It’s not brokenness.
It’s missing education.

When women learn the science, the somatics, the tools and the language — desire stops feeling like a mystery and starts feeling accessible.

Relationships improve.
Secs gets better.
Pleasure becomes sustainable.

This is the work.
Link in bio to explore.

S✨x coaching isn’t just about s✨x

I work with women on (and not limited to):
🌞 Nervous System Regulation
🌞 Finding a sense of home in themselves
🌞 Communication and expression
🌞 Relationship dynamics
🌞 Emotional intelligence
🌞 Conditioning and reprogramming
🌞 Exploring holistic pleasure in everyday life
🌞 Desire and receivership
🌞 Arousal and org@sm
🌞 And of course s✨x and s✨duality and all that comes with it

So yes getting to talk about s✨x for a job is so much fun but there is so much more that we explore than just what happens in the bedroom.

Curious to know more? Head to the link in my bio to book a complimentary chemistry call to see if holistic pleasure coaching could support you.

Love,
Em