07/06/2026
A beautiful read in what horses offer us if we choose to be curious in this space
One of the biggest surprises horses have given me is this:
The less interested I became in controlling them, the more interested I became in understanding them.
And those turned out to be very different journeys.
Control is mostly about outcomes.
Will the horse do what I want?
Will they go where I ask?
Will they stop, stand, load, move, perform?
Understanding asks different questions.
What matters to this horse?
What brings them joy?
What worries them?
Who are their friends?
What do they notice that I don't?
How do they experience the world?
For a long time, I thought the purpose of relationship was to gain influence.
Now I wonder if the purpose of relationship is to gain perspective.
Because every horse lives in a reality I can never fully access.
They hear things I don't hear.
Smell things I don't smell.
Notice details I walk right past.
Experience life through a nervous system, body, and history that are entirely their own.
And yet, if I pay attention, they offer me little glimpses into that world.
A hesitation.
A preference.
A curiosity.
A concern.
A playful idea.
A quiet no.
A joyful yes.
Tiny windows into a life that is not mine.
Perhaps that is one reason horses are such extraordinary teachers.
Not because they show us how to control another being.
But because they invite us to become curious about a reality beyond our own.
And in a world where everyone seems certain they already understand everything...
curiosity might be one of the deepest forms of love.
