Jasmine Yow - Stepmum Coach

How I love the meaning imbued into her art! 😍 I have her art on my wall and on tea towels I gift clients...art that captures the essence of flourishing...

I've been sharing harmonizing (a Figure 8 Breath) with stepmum coaches (and mums of PDA kids, and therapists/counsellors...)

Next free demos:

4 Nov 12pm-1pm Sydney time (3 Nov 7pm Chicago time)
9 Dec 8pm-9pm sydney time (9am UK time)

Pls DM for the zoom link. More info at healyourdeepesttrauma.com - the work of 80yo Dr Artie Vipperla

I'm also available for 1:1 support - please contact me on my personal FB profile.

An updated intro to reflect my growth!

Jasmine is a guide for the healers who lead with quiet commitment, the mothers and stepmothers whose deepest desire is to bring more beauty and goodness to the world. She radiates hope and possibility and creates a rare sanctuary of safety where the exhausting performance of having it all together can be set down, making space for profound character growth. She is particularly here for those who, finally, reach a place of feeling lost, who are tired of simplistic answers to complex problems.

Jasmine loves the mystery of walking in unresolved tensions with grace - a reality faced by many Ours Baby stepmothers. Her own journey through the complexities of a neurodivergent stepfamily (10 years in with 3 kids) revealed the limits of conventional wisdom.

Through her mentorship in Harmonizing and Retroactive Nurturing, she learned to gently dissolve the energy of striving, cultivating instead a deep, abiding spaciousness and patience. She embodies generous, present guidance for her clients, helping them access a courageous centre from which their innate goodness can glow. This is how we parent, lead, and love increasingly from a place of wholeness, not weariness.

Her work is an invitation for those committed to their own growth to stop fixing and start circulating—breath, blessing, and a healing energy that transforms striving into authentic service.

Her "official" training:

2010: Counselling Foundations (UniSA)
2022: Life Coaching training with (now defunct) Human Behaviour Institute
2022: Jai Institute of Parenting course
2023: Developmental Model online course (Couples Institute)
2023: The Magic & Medicine of Music (with music therapist Allison Davies)
2024: Nervous System Study Group (Trauma Geek)
2025: Certified Integral Therapist training with Dr Mark Forman, weekly mentoring with Dr Artie Vipperla

Feel free to send her a DM or email [email protected] to connect 🩷

Low-Demand Parenting in a Blended Family

Today’s episode might feel like a deep exhale if you’re navigating step-parenthood or a blended family while trying to practice low-demand. Chris and Jasmine (an in*******al couple living in Australia) invite us into the real story: a stable 50/50 split that unraveled, intense school pressure to “keep up,” escalating behaviors, court stress, and the moment they found Ross Greene’s CPS and later PDA, shifting their whole frame toward autonomy and safety.
What I loved most was their honesty about the challenges of the step-parent experience. Jasmine names the cultural scripts she had to deconstruct (primarily that “high expectations = love”), the grief of feeling unseen, the effort to protect her biological children, and the kind of support that actually helped the whole family thrive. Chris talks about choosing relationship over compliance, and later facing his own autistic burnout, including quitting a high-stress job, unmasking, and changing the family pace.

Themes we dig into:
From authoritarian reflexes to autonomy-first connection
Why “time and repair” aren’t cop-outs — they’re the real transformative work
Holding loyalty to all the kids in the blended family without abandoning yourself
Redefining boundaries as something we do with kids in service of their thriving
The quiet gifts inside the mess

Listen: Low-Demand Parenting in a Blended Family

📌 Content note: brief mention of a child’s disclosure of self-harm early in the story.

If you’re part of a blended family, if you’re a stepmom/stepdad, or co-parenting across houses: What’s one expectation you’ve softened lately? What helped you feel less alone?

Drop your wisdom (and your questions) below — let’s be each other’s village.

There’s hope on the other side of hard. Support isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

🎙 Guest: Jasmine Yow Jasmine Yow - Stepmum Coach

🎧 Listen to Episode 418 now on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3okw1rs or find us on Spotify and momandmind.com.

The podcast I recorded with Dr Kat Kaeni in March is now out!

You bet the real struggles are so rarely discussed anywhere in an honest hopeful way, pls share it with your blended family friends!

Show Highlights:

Jasmine’s journey as a stepmom over the past 10 years as she navigated her two pregnancies to build her family

Navigating blended family issues with her stepson (anger and aggression) while her two biological children were young

Jasmine’s discovery of resources, skills, and support for this journey

Understanding the “insider/outsider” dynamic between stepmom and stepchild

Resentment and insecurities can creep into the family dynamic

It’s risky to share the real complexities of the stepmom dynamic

Jasmine’s suggestions to families who are preparing for the stepparent role

(PS: I post more on my personal profile these days)

We have covered many aspects of the transition into parenthood, but the perspective shifts with many complexities when you are a stepmom. That’s our focus in today’s show, and our guest helps us take an honest and real look at this adjustment. Join us with guest: Jasmine Yow Jasmine Yow - Stepmum Coach

🎧 Listen to Episode 418 now on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3okw1rs or find us on Spotify and momandmind.com.

Stepmums resent their stepkids for various reasons, "rational", "rightful" or not.

This is where lots of people FREEZE because it is taboo to say or even feel that.

When something is so taboo, how many sessions into building therapeutic rapport before a stepmum will open up about her actual emotional struggles?

Or how quickly will she repress her reality when she detects a hint of judgement?

It's possible to get through entire blocks of therapy/coaching without one feeling safe enough to reveal/explore their deep emotional realities.

Or for the entire work to be bandaid upon bandaid, creating mask upon mask.

I offer a rare space for stepmums to unravel their complex emotions, while holding a vision of possibility - of expanding capacity and consciousness.

Sometimes, struggling stepmums are actually working very hard in service of their stepkids, or trying extremely hard to make the family work.

But it's not working for HER.

I help these stepmums find deeper understanding, more inner knowing, self assurance, spaciousness, sturdiness...

As one client said, "I have broader shoulders now, navigating my complex dynamic well".

Challenges can become deeply transformative if we allow them to.

It's possible to embrace our humanity more and more - which supports us to be of greater service to our families and society.

A client came to me after unsatisfying therapy.

Her therapist had tried to reframe her unhappy stepmum experiences COGNITIVELY, without helping her process all the underlying emotions. She did not feel validated, seen or understood. She was not supported in an effective grieving process.

The message she heard was "be grateful for the family you have".

Gratitude is a beautiful thing, but "should"-ing a client can leave them in even more despair.

Disappointment and despair is what people often need support walking with. Also regret: "I wish I hadn't joined a blended family".

Offering purely cognitive reframes without sufficiently addressing the client's emotional/somatic processes (or complexity of situation), has some clients receiving this message:

"I need to hurry up and get rid of this emotion"
"My emotion is bad"
"There's something wrong with me when I can't reframe easily"

"It's hopeless, no one understands, no one can help" 😔

When clients are habitually dissociated from their emotions, accessing safety to feel & unravel those emotions can be a process.

What I find useful is to help clients:
- connect new/deeper dots into their inner reactions and ways of relating, getting into their own reflection
- come to their own reframe when they sense a new possibility
- access different emotional states and noticing how their relationship to the problem changes
- notice their somatic discomfort - and where we can work on rebuilding new relational capacities

My clients leave with more awareness of "the gap", and an understanding on how to keep working with it.

With an increased sense of agency, we can feel more hopeful and able to face our challenges, make tough decisions.

We can become more sturdy in our leadership.

This is not fluff or some shiny promise, just a reality that all human beings including me are faced with this growth work.

The client above worked with me for 3 months said a year later, "I'm doing really well and seeming to be balancing our challenging dynamics. Thanks for all your help".

Next year, I'm raising my prices because I need to, in order to still homeschool our neurodivergent kids.

I currently have a special 6 session pack for $1000AUD. You can lock in this special rate before 25 December 2024.

Single 1 hour zoom sessions before end of year are $200AUD (inc GST).

Many people put off the decision to get support even if they say "I have these problems and I know I should". It can feel like a big step, and it's common to experience resistance (and for stepmums, fear that we will be "shamed").

Sometimes we need to take a leap of faith. The work takes courage.

Stepmum, if you're struggling with inner tensions or feeling sad and lonely, I see you.

It makes sense that stepmotherhood is a journey that involves grieving. It's part of vulnerable giving. Grief is not always unhealthy.

Joy and pride can also be part of stepmotherhood - the joy of playing a part in raising a child - our future generations.

What I do with clients is invite you into a space of possibility, to explore the various facets of your experience. All feelings are welcome, there are no wrong feelings (especially the ones you're silently telling yourself you shouldn't feel!).

Feelings can unravel as we surrender to the process. We can get unstuck. We can become more accepting of the journey - if we surrender into the spiritual portal that it is, taking us to where we need to be, regardless of what the outcome looks like. There is no fixed outcome, only your unique journey.

When I describe it this way, to be honest, the experience of stepmotherhood and motherhood begin to intertwine.

Because these journeys - beyond the nitty gritty practicalities and annoyances of daily life - can be a spiritual beckoning. The fire burns away the dross and you emerge...different.

Like birth - there is pain. There are tears. There are moments a mother feels "I can't do this anymore".

I've never actually birthed without an epidural, and I'm not against pain management.

But there is no leaning out of the birthing process.

You lean in till you get to the other side.

Stepmum, be encouraged that you can meet richness in your journey -- if you lean into everything it brings.

For there is no such thing as "the perfect life" to attain, only YOUR UNIQUE LIFE TO LIVE OUT. (Comparison & "desires" trip up and trap so many!)

I imagine the heavens sing when we shed layers and claim our path through inner knowing -- with courage and open hearts.

Many "childless" stepmums desire to become a biological mum.

Many grapple: Is it wise to add an ours baby?

Drawing on veteran stepfamily therapist the late Peter Gerlach's work, I urge couples to seriously consider if they can provide a high nurturance environment for any new children, given the complexities of blended life.

You don't always need a therapist or a coach to do this, right. If you have a wise older couple journeying with you in your marriage, and you give them access to your life, if you can be vulnerable and honest and they can share their wisdom into your struggles, that's a great community resource for your journey.

But many people don't have this. They are isolated and have never experienced deep nourishing community. That's where my service can be especially useful.

Here's the link to the one page PDF below, that you can use with your partner to discern/prepare for an ours baby:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yZ4RZDEZ0z2-klFk3mrJjElcPOAlnOlC/view?usp=sharing