It's Sensory

It's Sensory

Fierce mama to an amazing little, here to help other spectrum parents. Learning to advocate for th

Operating as usual

09/12/2020

This is fantastic! I do wish they used a different word than "tantrum
because for children who cannot regulate themselves, it isn't just a "tantrum" but rather a meltdown. Wording aside this is awesome!

01/12/2020

Yes!!

09/10/2020

THIS!!!!! 100% this!!!!! This article nails it on point!!!! From ADHD Superparents
Two things I learned in the early years of raising kids with ADHD.

1) No two kids are alike.

2) It’s exhausting.

Okay, make it 3 things, because I also learned that my husband and I weren’t on the same page regarding parenting tactics. Hell, we weren’t even in the same book! Back then, it went something like this:

Kid misbehaves.

Husband raises voice and demands the behavior stop or else.

Kid continues.

Husband and kid power struggle begins while wife (that’s me!) steps in and tells husband he is being too harsh.

Husband and wife begin arguing.

Kid gets tired of waiting around and disappears from the room.

Repeat cycle all day, every day.

Not super productive. Remember those 2 things I mentioned earlier? Well, our kids also learned 2 things:

1) My parents don’t know what they’re doing; are not a united front.

2) I’m not sure what I’M supposed to be doing; getting mixed messages about my behavior.

Instead of teaching them strategies to handle emotions when they feel out of control (that’s what is really happening during a meltdown), we were either expecting them to pull themselves together or ignoring their needs altogether because we couldn’t get out of our own way to address them.

Back then, I was reading every book about ADHD that I could find, meanwhile my well-meaning husband seemed to be stuck in old-school parenting mode, saying things like ‘Because I’m in charge’ and ‘Well, I’m the Dad’ or my favorite thing he would tell me (*sarcasm*): ‘The boys just need more mental toughness.’

Cue me banging my head with the pantry door right about now.

Since our parenting differences and stress from the aspects of life with ADHD kept us from communicating effectively, I chose to write my husband a letter. Figured he may ‘hear’ my words better if they were written down as a visual. I was honest, sharing that we needed to wake up and get a grasp on our daily life. That we were drowning in chaos and could do better for our kids.

That I needed him to join me on this journey. He agreed.

It’s no wonder we were sailing in choppy waters when we first discovered ADHD. We weren’t a team, and you don’t win playing for yourself. Wins happen as a team. And a good team doesn’t just show up one day and take home a trophy. You have to practice to be successful.

So, we did.

Want to reduce the chaos? Grab this FREE 5-Day Email Course!

We began by practicing 3 simple rules when we were struggling to remain calm with our highly emotional kids.

♦Walk away: We gave each other a free pass to walk away when we could feel our patience running low. Nothing wrong with saying we need a break and letting our spouse take over. We’re human. Rely on each other when necessary.

♦Apologize: We expect our kids to apologize when a situation calls for I’m sorry, and sometimes parents need to tell kids they messed up, too. Model the behavior you want to see in your children. Did you lose it and knee-jerk react with your child? Own it. Tell them you didn’t react the way you had hoped and you’re sorry. The message? When we make a mistake, accept the blame and do better moving forward. Parenting is teaching. For kids with ADHD, getting defensive and passing the blame is common, so there is no better lesson than seeing mom and dad show some empathy for the person who ended up as their sounding board.

♦Have a code word: Remember that Walk Away rule? Well, sometimes we don’t recognize that we’re getting hot under the collar on our own. Another set of eyes and ears (your spouse) will recognize our temper flaring and give us a nudge. Rather than undermining you in front of your child, we created a code word to use.

Our code word? ‘Diet Pepsi.’

One night, my husband blurted out ‘You NEED a Diet Pepsi’ and I bit my tongue. I had been raising my voice, upset by our oldest who was being argumentative. I had wrongly engaged in a power struggle with a 12-year-old.

A minute later, our youngest ran into the room with a can of Diet Pepsi from the fridge, announcing, ‘Here, Dad said u needed a Diet Pepsi.’ Boy, did I ever! (On second thought, make your code word ‘wine.’) We both were laughing over his literal interpretation, enough that it diffused the angry environment brewing in our home.

What about YOU?

Are you and your spouse/partner using the same parenting tactics? Or are you sending your kids mixed messages? Need an ADHD Parenting cheat sheet to get back on track? Print it out! Kids with ADHD need lots of structure, clear expectations and CALM PARENTS.

Want to reduce the chaos? Grab this FREE 5-Day Email Course!

You can’t teach a child to behave better by making them feel worse. They need, and actually WANT, parents to show them, teach them and explain to them what they want them to do. Calmly. They need the message to be clear and concise, from both of you.

Its no wonder our home was total chaos. I would parent my way, my husband would parent his way, and we hoped the two versions would magically collide and make life easier.

THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

We both agreed what we were doing wasn’t working and it was time to make a change. You can do this too, starting with this little nugget today!

‘Meet your kids where they are.’

Don’t hope they act like the kid who has it all together. Don’t wish they could be independent like you were at their age. Don’t nag for them to meet your unrealistic expectations.

Meet kids where they are. Your kids will learn and grow. But, it doesn’t happen overnight. Tackle one struggle at a time, not by yourself, but as a team.

Soon enough, you’ll earn that trophy.

Want to reduce the chaos? Grab this FREE 5-Day Email Course!

23/08/2020
30 Little Ways to Show Your Kids You Love Them Every Day 05/08/2020

Every day I struggle to balance being a wife and home maker. And a mother. Don't get me wrong. I know v is loved and has a solid foundation. But like any parents I always want to be the best I can. I came across this and think its on point!! https://www.mommynearest.com/article/30-little-ways-to-show-your-kids-you-love-them-every-day
Some days it seems like you’re just holding everything together—rushing to get the kids to school on time, rushing to get to work, rushing home to cook dinner, then rushing through the bath and bedtime routine. That’s just the way life goes sometimes. If you’re lacking in time (like most parents are) but want to show your child how much you love them, here are 30 little ways that can be incorporated into your day with almost zero effort.
1. Give your child kisses when they wake up.
2. Read an extra book before bedtime.
3. If you get home too late to read books at night, read a book at breakfast instead.
4. If your child can read, put a note in their lunch box that says, “Have fun today! Love you!”
5. Give big hugs and kisses before you leave.
6. Ask what their favorite part of the day was.
7. Ask what the hardest part of the day was, too.
8. When your child is desperate for your attention, drop what you’re doing and give it to them.
9. Look them in the eyes.
10. Stay in their room just a few minutes longer than usual at bedtime.
11. Notice something they’ve done right: “Thank you for putting your toys away, I really appreciate it.”
12. Cook together—let your child help you make dinner or bake together.
13. No matter how bad your day was or how annoyed you are at your kid, never go to bed angry or let your child go to bed feeling that you’re angry with them.
14. Compliment your child on something they do: “I really love listening to you sing. You sing so beautifully."
15. Try to get ready ahead of your schedule so you can cut out the “hurry ups” and let your kid take their own time getting in the car or walking down the street (maybe letting them pick a few flowers along the way).
16. Really listen to what your child is saying without interrupting.

17. Make your child feel like their opinion matters by asking what they think.

18. Proudly display their artwork at home.

19. Don’t talk about them, especially their flaws, in front of them.

20. After you have an argument, give them a big hug and tell them it’s okay.

21. Follow through on any promises you make.

22. Play with your child, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

23. Say “yes” instead of no.

24. Give your child your full attention when you’re together.

25. Think of a fun activity to do together on the weekend, even if it’s something as simple as going to a new playground.

26. Smile at your child.

27. Be the last to let go of hugs.

28. Ask to hold their hand.

29. Try to see their point of view.

30. Tell them you love them. Every single day.

30 Little Ways to Show Your Kids You Love Them Every Day Stay in their room just a few minutes longer than usual at bedtime.

14/06/2020

This is a life changing thought process!

28/03/2020

6$ with multi use code, comment if you got it! Acelane Kids Science Experiment Kit Chemistry Experiments Scientist Role Play Step-by-Step Manual Mini Lab STEM (THIS SCIENCE KIT AND THE OUTDOOR EXPLORE KIT USE THE SAME CODE, ORDER TOGETHER ON ONE ORDER IF ORDERING BOTH) https://amzn.to/2wMSsev

13/01/2020

This! ❤

Let's be that voice, that champion for our children.
Let's help them reach their true potential!

28/12/2019

LOVE this

27/12/2019

It isn't always easy, but THIS is how we make the future better. THIS is the only way that ALL children will grow into emotionally stable and healthy adults.

27/12/2019

Personally I love this. THIS is powerful. Allowing our children to FEEL their emotions is one of the most powerful ways we can help them and love them. We have been firm in making sure Viv knows that it is always ok to cry and that getting her feelings out is very important.

27/09/2019

I literally cannot remember a time when every morning didn't start with my child screaming and grunting. I live in full blown stress mode EVERY freaking day. She screams from the time she wakes up till the time she gets to school, then magically is an angel the whole time there. Then comes home and its back to screaming. I've gained weight, my hair is falling out, my skin is horrible. I have never been so stressed in my life. This is not how life should be lived, for anyone. * side note, posting to shed a light on life with autism. To shed a light on ALL the struggles that no one talks about. For all the moms at their wits end so spend more time silently crying than anyone knows, to shed a light on "high functioning autism", to bring to life that so many moms, parents, families, and children struggle and stress and live in a constant state of panic and stress. And it is horrible . Not enough people talk about the real life daily struggles. * - The Sensory Mama

21/05/2019

💙

Photos from It's Sensory's post 21/05/2019

IEP Meeting day!

Photos from It's Sensory's post 07/05/2019

GREAT for sensory bottles!!!
4.99 each , with multi use code, comment if you got it!
MUST order together if getting both!
12 Colors Shining Glitter https://amzn.to/2vGVBZ6
12 Colors Mini Glitter Caviar Micro Beadshttps://amzn.to/2ZZldOJ

01/05/2019

Raise your hand if you see a carousel! I bet EVERY single high needs parent sees a carousel

14/04/2019
Want your school to be the top-listed School/college?

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Hippotherapy has been such a game changer for us. Anyone else try it?