The Work Within Us

The Work Within Us

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When circumstances change in accordance with our timeline, our fight, flight, freeze, fawn response handles transition better than when circumstances change and it is not on our timeline.

That’s okay. Notice. Breathe. Onward.

Be kind to yourself.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗
A rare Also for today:

Contrary to popular belief, our nervous system is actually soothed by knowing it can handle things. When it is not sure, it runs amoke.

We sooth by doing a small thing that feels risky but likely is really just mildly uncomfortable. Our comfort and skill raises so we can then do a slightly more risky-feeling action. So grows our comfort and our self-esteem and our skills and our agency.

Expansion brings comfort. Contraction brings confinement. Of all kinds.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.
When soc-iety seems to be racing towards inhumanity, our nervous system can convince us that there is no clear role, for those of us who don’t have one already in place, in creating the-world-SAY-we want. It asks us to stick to expressing emotions about the situation and exhausts us before we can take meaningful action.

The emotions do need to be processed! We must cultivate our well-being and fuel our Onward as well.

And then we switch our ‘question’ from some version of “what can I do? I am just one person!” (which is actually a declaration and not a question) to “who is doing work I can join that focuses on making space for humans to thrive?”

And then, find them and join them in whatever capacity you have to offer.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.
Today, pay attention to the stories in your head about yourself and others and how they ‘feel’ in your nervous system.

For those that bring up a fight/flight/freeze/fawn response, practice noticing when that happens and taking a moment to cultivate a nanosecond or more of well-being in those moments.

These moments will always be there and we can be with them more often than swept away by them.

Say it with me.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗
Cultivating Personal Agency is another of the skills we need for the Capacity to create the-world-we-say-we-want

Feeling into our agency when our nervous system wonders if all is lost or danger is at the door keeps us safe and practicing our values.

Cultivate well-being. Join with others using their agency. Create and share Capacity.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.
For people adjusting (which is all of us):

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗
For heavy hearts:

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗
Check in with your own nervous system regularly. Get to know each other.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗
Sometimes we have feelings and sometimes feelings have us. Cultivating our own sense of well-being helps us know which situation is within us and move onward and through.

Say it with me.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗
We are taught that giving 110% is a thing in one sphere of our life and that it isn’t in another. Or we are taught we can ‘give our all’ to someone or something. Or that our full potential should be applied consistently. And that, if we don’t, it reflects badly on us. Or if we do, that it is a good thing.

It’s all impossible.

Life experience shows us that what we can give or apply fluctuates. Day-to-day, year-to-year, circumstance-to-circumstance. Time-of-day-to-time-of-day. And that some is always required in reserve.

When we dismiss or otherise disregard the reserve we need to maintain for our well-being, especially in service to someone else’s agenda (be it a person or a societal system), we pay a price greater than the one we try to avoid with our efforts.

Reserve is the bedrock of Capacity. May we learn to respect and revere it.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.
Here in the corner of the world in which I dwell, it is a cloudy day. Still, the Sun beams whether we see it or not. For all upon whom it shines, and all it does not...

Say it with me.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗
This is a picture of asparagus.

Growing asparagus is a study in Capacity and Resorces. When seeds are planted, the process from seed to harvest is 3 years. It takes that long for the plant to have the capacity to withstand sharing itself without weakening or harm.

This plant is 2 years old. Instead of food, it will share lovely wispy foliage as these spires mature and the plant gets stronger. Cultivating Capacity.

We benefit from doing the same.

For all of us, there is something or some things that will best be served and handled when we have cultivated the capacity to handle them with grace and ease. Waiting to have that capacity is not a problem. Avoiding making space to cultivate it, often can be.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

A space for mindfully choosing how we use what we learn from life. A space for making the most of your life experiences.

28/08/2023

I’d post on FB but instead I am going to write my representatives even though some of them agree with the man who fired his gun.

I’m going to keep voting in every election, even dog catcher.

I’m going to keep supporting people and organizations doing the work to end dehumanization.

I’m going to feel deeply and refuse to numb or normalize.

I’m going to continue my daily practice of cultivating well-being so my nervous system can process horror and not freeze or flight or fawn or feign.

I’m going to show up for conversations that make people who are not used to them uncomfortable. Avoiding them is deadly to others and that’s not okay. (It’s a skill that can be learned).

By all means, share on SM, but also participate in the social structures that involve all of our senses.

27/01/2023

A well tended nervous system allows us spaciousness to choose our responses when fight, flight, freeze, or fawn happen. We can have the physical feelings without them having us. We can notice and then respond.

Whenever possible and prudent, the first response is to offer repair to ourselves. Sometimes or next, we respond with something that will help create-the-world-we-SAY-we-want.

I got a chance to do this recently in my own household. An exchange caused me to freeze. To be bring up response-options from patterns that trained my nervous system long ago. Noticing this happen gave me the space to choose repair and then work to build rather than erode both the day and the relationship.

We’ve all been there. We will be there again. It is okay. Onward.

24/01/2023

For many of us, it is easier to talk ABOUT than to talk WITH . Or to talk AT when wanting to be listened TO or respected or soothed or noticed or some such. Domin@te culture teaches us that pushing, convincing, spewing, manipulating, and some such are the way to engage with other humans. Even those we live with or love.

The work of talking with, of listening, of conveying, of connecting, of ‘hearing’ isn’t actually harder, we are usually just significantly less skilled in those areas.

It actually takes more energy to avoid the power the present moment requires to experience and feel in order to be any good at WITHING for others or ourselves.

The present moment often brings feelings to process or get support in working through. (When the present moment involves immediate danger, that needs attention first.)

Processing builds capacity.

Cultivating Well-Being supports our ability to be WITH the present moment we are experiencing right now and travel through to the next moment.

Say this with me.

May we create space, loving-kindness, safety, and ease for us all.

18/01/2023

Ideas for other people’s businesses don’t pop into my head for no good reason.

The situation stems from the fact that I’ve never much bought in to the idea that our work in the world and our purpose have to be the same thing. It is so for some but not essential. Lots of folx have purposes attached to other things.

What we all do deserve is for our work to be part of the pursuit of joy in our lives. It is true for too few.

Ease too, we deserve ease when difficulty isn’t necessary, some space between recreational or required pushing through.

We spend a huge portion of our lives working and almost none of it is designed for a trajectory towards joy, in fact it is mostly designed for the opposite with a whole bunch of added problematic things like judgment, discrimination, confinement, power-over, dehumanization and other dominant-culture ugliness.

In one way or another my work has been about making space for more joy and ease in working available and accessible to more people.

Mostly that has meant addressing the messes brought on by systems, policies, practices, laws, and histories of tolerating behaviors that harm or shut out folx.

Always, it has included teaching a process for finding making possible a trajectory towards career joy, developed after the first five years of working full time and more than my fair share of horror stories.

To say I wasn’t supposed to be sharing this framework with coworkers is an understatement and made doing so an immense source of joy for me.

After 25 years of exploring where skill and will collided with systems, bias, socialization, economic structures and such, it was time to imagine what would happen if fewer people believed the myths of The Culture of Working and made different decisions.

What if instead of continuing to focus on convincing leadership of the benefits of change, we stopped the cyclical patterns of pushing and resisting and did something else?

What if folx started to make more space for themselves in careers and started leaving situations on their own terms?

What might happen if more people liberated their labor as often as they saw fit?

Making space for that takes up most of my working time.

Which brings us back to ideas for people who work for themselves. So many people have visions to do wonderful work in the world. It’s really very exciting.

Seeing it happen brings me so much joy.

Encouraging folx whose work I notice, is fun.

Sometimes, if they are really stuck or wrestling or bogged down by the other stuff running a business requires, we make a formal arrangement where I hold the joy for them and way-making kicks into gear. That’s why some of their ideas drop into my head. Change-bringing ideas fall into spaces where joy should grow.

We all deserve to work with joy and ease and dignity and support and all the things. Lots of folx make it their mission to make that impossible. Mine is to make space and explore ways to make it so.

If you’ve read this far, you might be wondering why I am sharing this here. Dear Ones, we are deep in the woods of times and shenanigans that will make many lean towards constriction.

Making space, following joy, creating ease aren’t for someday, they are for now. Spaces of possibility are the stuff of creating the-world-we-say-we-want.

Make the space, follow the ideas, bring the new-to-us ways.

The work of Onward requires space.

16/01/2023

Sometimes, for something to begin, a mess has to be cleaned up or made. I’m not speaking metaphorically or spiritually. Space has to be cleared, things discarded, others repaired.

It is true for what happens in the world and within us. It is true for what we want to make happen or the trajectory we want to encourage.

That space before the work can be done, or the progress felt, can be rough on the nervous system.

Still, it needs our attention so that Becomings can have room to thrive.

Cultivate your well-being.

15/01/2023

You likely need more cultivating of your well/being than you realize. Make space for more than you think you need.

Busyness can be a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn reaction. It can also reflect the load we carry. Know which is which for you.

Review the things that fuel you or experiment to see what they might be. Let them take up space in your days and make space in your life.

12/01/2023

Cultivating well-being is supported when we have clarity.

Clarity about how our society works and what hinders it is needed. Learn from historians, sociologists, and others who study and teach social dynamics. Context can help us regulate our fight, flight, freeze, fawn responses

Clarity about how our government works helps us to understand how to use our voices as citizens. (Note: complaining is not a tool of clarity 😉)

Discuss how government works in your households (with kids too) and community and decide where you will take part in your next actions of civic participation.

(From here, I will use the structure of the country in which I dwell as my example). Read the fundamental documents that support the government structure. Learn how Federal, State, County, and local-to-you structures work. Find out how each is funded. Know, for example, to whom you need to write to get a road fixed and to whom you write to demand that funds be there to hire the skilled worker who fixes it.

Let’s not just talk amongst ourselves about headlines. Let’s start attending public and community meetings, even though they are rarely entertaining. Let’s find people who are leading efforts we support, ask them what they most need to increase momentum, and then give a small or large portion of your time to the efforts.

Creating the world-we-say-we-want is a group effort. Clarity will help us regulate our nervous system which will allow us to contribute in a way that makes it more possible to have our intent and impact congruent with one another.

10/01/2023

For many, ‘plans’ can feel like a creative writing experience. Others have been taught to believe that when things don’t go according to a ‘plan’ a failure of some kind has occurred.

Remember that the meanings we assign to the short-term often look different in the long-term.

Planning for time set aside to cultivate our felt-sense if well-being is a constructive action we can take to support our journey Onward.

It can be as quick as taking one slow, deep breath or offering a lingering moment to something that brings a smile to you. It can be 5 min of something else. It can be longer. Whatever work. Give cultivating well-being a space in your day. Your nervous system and loved ones and the larger community will thank you.

09/01/2023

Knowing when to speak and when to be silent is another of the skills we need to create-the-world-we-say-we-want.

So is taking action to cultivate more of what we want to experience, feel and share.

If our nervous system is in fight or fawn, it can be more challenging to be silent or wait or rest when it is prudent.

If our nervous system is in freeze or flight, it can be more challenging to use our voice or move onward or show up when it is most needed.

Tend to your nervous system. Cultivate your felt-sense of well-being. Cultivate Agency and take action.

It will require all of us.

05/01/2023

We can make space for cultivating our own felt sense of well-being and tending to our collective well-being.

It is not about time or priorities or discipline. It is a mental model shift from me to we. It is pursuing a container that holds us all and rather than pursuing a finish line. It is why the loving-kindness meditation is not phrased in the singular.

01/01/2023

Let’s remember something about fresh new pages: they offer potential and possibility but they do not reach either unsoiled and that is OK.

Part of cultivating well-being is remembering that messes happen, messes can be cleaned up, and that cleaning up together makes the task doable.

Find your way of participating in cleaning out the dumpster and cleaning up the messes for you and for us all.

We will all need to participate at the levels our fluctuating capacities will allow if we truly want to create the world we SAY we want.

29/12/2022

There are many times in a life where we have a strong desire to move out of one experience and into an entirely different one.

Rarely does a transition happen that cleanly. There is always a Meantime - a liminal space. Sometimes short, sometimes not.

Dominant culture teaches us to rush through this space. Doing so doesn’t usually serve our best interests.

Do your practice(s) to sooth your nervous system and use the Meantime to make decisions for your Onward. Because the ‘year’ isn’t the source of the difficulties we face and solutions will take participation from all of us.

26/12/2022

Today remember that the only direction is onward, that onward requires no catching up, and no time is being lost. Remind your nervous system.

Pattern interruptions alter the stories in our heads told to us by ourselves, families, organizations, and society. That may seem like a problem to solve but it is actually a door to possibility.

Pattern interruptions allow us to ask what we have learned, what will we take with us on our onward journey, and what we will unload to make the journey better.

08/12/2022

Know the difference between niceness and kindness.

Niceness is determined by cultural conditioning. It confines you, creates distance, and provides cosmetic comfort. It speaks from and to our ego.

Kindness is genuine. It can hold the opposites of comfort and discomfort. Combined with graceful delivery it can free and comfort. It speaks to and from the soul.

Do your own exploration of the difference between niceness and kindness. Ask yourself which lands where in your body. Ask others.

Let’s get clear.

Onward

Photos from The Work Within Us's post 06/12/2022

Every person who creates a thing or wants to create a thing will benefitt from reading through the screenshots below.

Dominant culture myths around work (I call it The Culture of Work) would tell us that the results of our creating something and sharing it with the world should be immediate and large. It perpetuates the myth of overnight success, even when every story is one of momentum building.

The screenshots begin with a tender moment of exposure from a creator and heartfelt reaponses from folx who society now sees as successful who have been there. There: a space in front of crickets.

If you have created a thing and abandoned it based on response, read each comment captured below and revisit the thing.

If you are wanting to create a thing, or are in the middle of creating a thing, read each response and add time-in-public-spaces-filled-with-crickets to your project plan.

The answer to ‘what if nobody likes it/responds/shows up/and such,’ is: they won’t, at first, because success, however you define it, is a momentum system. The Culture of Work tells us success comes from hard work. Lived experience tells us it comes from sharing our work over time.

Enjoy!

07/05/2022

When circumstances change in accordance with our timeline, our fight, flight, freeze, fawn response handles transition better than when circumstances change and it is not on our timeline.

That’s okay. Notice. Breathe. Onward.

Be kind to yourself.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

05/05/2022

A rare Also for today:

Contrary to popular belief, our nervous system is actually soothed by knowing it can handle things. When it is not sure, it runs amoke.

We sooth by doing a small thing that feels risky but likely is really just mildly uncomfortable. Our comfort and skill raises so we can then do a slightly more risky-feeling action. So grows our comfort and our self-esteem and our skills and our agency.

Expansion brings comfort. Contraction brings confinement. Of all kinds.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

05/05/2022

When soc-iety seems to be racing towards inhumanity, our nervous system can convince us that there is no clear role, for those of us who don’t have one already in place, in creating the-world-SAY-we want. It asks us to stick to expressing emotions about the situation and exhausts us before we can take meaningful action.

The emotions do need to be processed! We must cultivate our well-being and fuel our Onward as well.

And then we switch our ‘question’ from some version of “what can I do? I am just one person!” (which is actually a declaration and not a question) to “who is doing work I can join that focuses on making space for humans to thrive?”

And then, find them and join them in whatever capacity you have to offer.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

04/05/2022

Today, pay attention to the stories in your head about yourself and others and how they ‘feel’ in your nervous system.

For those that bring up a fight/flight/freeze/fawn response, practice noticing when that happens and taking a moment to cultivate a nanosecond or more of well-being in those moments.

These moments will always be there and we can be with them more often than swept away by them.

Say it with me.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

03/05/2022

Cultivating Personal Agency is another of the skills we need for the Capacity to create the-world-we-say-we-want

Feeling into our agency when our nervous system wonders if all is lost or danger is at the door keeps us safe and practicing our values.

Cultivate well-being. Join with others using their agency. Create and share Capacity.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

01/05/2022

For people adjusting (which is all of us):

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

30/04/2022

For heavy hearts:

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

29/04/2022

Check in with your own nervous system regularly. Get to know each other.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

28/04/2022

Sometimes we have feelings and sometimes feelings have us. Cultivating our own sense of well-being helps us know which situation is within us and move onward and through.

Say it with me.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

27/04/2022

We are taught that giving 110% is a thing in one sphere of our life and that it isn’t in another. Or we are taught we can ‘give our all’ to someone or something. Or that our full potential should be applied consistently. And that, if we don’t, it reflects badly on us. Or if we do, that it is a good thing.

It’s all impossible.

Life experience shows us that what we can give or apply fluctuates. Day-to-day, year-to-year, circumstance-to-circumstance. Time-of-day-to-time-of-day. And that some is always required in reserve.

When we dismiss or otherise disregard the reserve we need to maintain for our well-being, especially in service to someone else’s agenda (be it a person or a societal system), we pay a price greater than the one we try to avoid with our efforts.

Reserve is the bedrock of Capacity. May we learn to respect and revere it.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

26/04/2022

Here in the corner of the world in which I dwell, it is a cloudy day. Still, the Sun beams whether we see it or not. For all upon whom it shines, and all it does not...

Say it with me.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

25/04/2022

This is a picture of asparagus.

Growing asparagus is a study in Capacity and Resorces. When seeds are planted, the process from seed to harvest is 3 years. It takes that long for the plant to have the capacity to withstand sharing itself without weakening or harm.

This plant is 2 years old. Instead of food, it will share lovely wispy foliage as these spires mature and the plant gets stronger. Cultivating Capacity.

We benefit from doing the same.

For all of us, there is something or some things that will best be served and handled when we have cultivated the capacity to handle them with grace and ease. Waiting to have that capacity is not a problem. Avoiding making space to cultivate it, often can be.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

24/04/2022

Cultivating our own well-being makes available to us skills to have a better inner experience, create relationships with more kindness, and participate more actively as citizens and allies to each other. We need all of that from all of us.

Say it with me.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

23/04/2022

Plan some extra rest in the coming days, if circumstances allow. Reschedule where possible.

Make some more space for you.

Space cultivates well-being.

Say it with me.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

22/04/2022

As you encounter other folx today, whether in person, virtually, through their work, because they come to mind, or some such.

Say this with me. For them and for you.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

21/04/2022

We are taught that our Capacity is constant, fixed and that high capacity is better than low capacity.

Lived experience shows us that Capacity fluctuates, sometimes due to things we can influence and sometimes due to things we can’t amd sometimes due to both.

How much capacity we have at any given time is less important than our knowing what it is on any given day, respecting what’s available, and participating in its replensihment.

That’s how Cultivating Well-Being and Capacity are related.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

20/04/2022

Do what your nervous system needs.

You may not be feeling only one thing.

Check in. Process what you find.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

19/04/2022

We are all going to have to use some sort Capacity, overt or covert, to create-the-world-we-SAY-we-want.

Some kind of using voices and language in new ways.

Some kind of showing up in ways that create rather than comply.

Some kind of setting boundaries and maintaining them.

All kinds of things.

Cultivating well-being helps us to know how we will do the things and be okay.

Say it with me.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

18/04/2022

This week the daffodils bloomed in the corner of the world in which I dwell.

In the middle of Mud Season and through heavy clay soil. Yesterday it snowed on them and they squinted closed to keep warmer.

And still they thrive. May it be so for us all.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

17/04/2022

A huge part of those who participate in religious practices are celebrating principle teachings of loving-kindness and wonder, simultaneously this season.

Whether we practice or not, may we amplify a practice of loving-kindness so it ripples far past this season and into all seasons to come.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

16/04/2022

It has always been true that the capacity needed to face what is before us changes with what is before us.

There are two kinds of ‘before us:’
• that which we can respond and react to as we see and notice in the short-term
• the long-term we can’t yet see that requires strategy and collaboration and increments because it is a shared experience or circumstance.

Onward, creating the-world-we-SAY-we-want to live in (even if those who live in it come after us) is often referred to as a marathon and not a sprint. I don’t agree. It is a relay both in the short-term and the long-term.

None of us will, by ourselves, cross all the thresholds and celebrate all the milestones of Onward. And even after it is achieved, it will need to be maintained and nurtured and cultivated. No one of us has capacity to hold all of that. Not intellectual capacity, emotional capacity, physical capacity, or time left in our lives.

The ‘before us’ of that world is one we cannot see clearly but our nervous system knows how it will feel. That feeling is what we have been cultivating for 20 months. If we let it, it can serve as a beacon as we find or renew our place in the relay.

Unlike a track and field relay, the relay of Onward does not dictate length or speed or time for holding the baton. The only requirement is that you take it up in some way rather than looking away, pass it for a time so you can renew and rest, take it up again for a time, and then repeat the process.

To engage and integrate that process, we need to cultivate capacity, so cultivating capacity is what we will focus on next.

Cultivating well-being is an essential element of cultivating capacity so it will still show up in this space, but there is more to capacity than well-being. And capacity is waning in most of us. We need to make space for deliberate cultivation of our capacity.

I have no idea what that will look like yet. We will discover that together. I have a fair amount of personal experience with capacity making and some of that is also professional experience which focuses on unthethering from social consensus that seeks to drain us. We’ll see what can be made from that mix.

Whatever comes, I am grateful to those of you who read my daily notes. You’ve helped me keep my practice of offering loving-kindness and helped me through the days I have not wanted to offer it at all.

Much love - P

For you,

Say it with me.

May we live in safety.
May we be free from fear.
May we have mental happiness.
May we have physical health.
May we live with ease.
May we be free from worry.
May we be free from strife.
May we live with joy.
💚💗

15/04/2022

Our nervous system is wise and kinda myopic. It is focused on our well-being and no one else’s. Attending to its needs helps us have capacity to do our part for the collective. Today, let’s give it some ‘me time.’
Say it with me:

May I ive in safety.
May I be free from fear.
May I have mental happiness.
May I have physical health.
May I live with ease.
May I be free from worry.
May I be free from strife.
May I live with joy.

💚

14/04/2022

Many people spend much energy using the measurement of What-People-Do/Will-Think.

Lived experience shows us that
• fewer people than we think think about our life choices
• some people generally think well of people so our choices have little impact on their thinking about us
• the opposite is also true
• some people think poorly about choices and simultaneously not at all about the individuals making them.

All this makes the measurement of What-People-Will/Do-Think as exhausting as herding cats.

It actually takes less energy to deal with the emotions of who tends to think poorly of us. When it is someone whose good opinion would help you feel seen and loved because they are someone-important-to-you, it will take more processing than when it is someone who might play a minor role in your life.

Doing this is made easier by Cultivating Skills of observation, embodimnet of feelings, getting support, acceptance of what they can process, processing disappointment, and more.

If the Poorly-Of-You-Thinkers play a minor role in the grand scheme of things, Observation may be all it takes to see the pattern of how you react and breaking it so your measure can be focused on the most important and major thinker in your life, the one who is living it. The skill to cultivate then is to choose the story about you that will be the gossip fodder and let it circulate. Most of the time, it doesn’t circulate, unless you choose a juicy story for your own amusement 🤣. Ask me how I know 🤣🤣🤣

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

13/04/2022

Our options matter very much to us AND are only sometimes interesting and rarely relevant to others.

Dominant Culture teaches us to impose our opinion on others and to seek the good opinion of others. It doesn’t teach us much about how valuable-to-us-or-others options are born of widened world views, observation rather than judgment, and Cultivating Well-Being.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

12/04/2022

It’s Mud Season where I dwell.

Last year, the first here, I didn’t actually notice it was a regularly-occurring season. I was still looking at my surroundings through a more-concrete-than-not lense. It takes a while for changes to our lived experiences to be noticed and recognized and understood. (I am likely at recognition and not yet at understanding regarding Mud Season).

The decision I will make in preparation for Mud Season next year are different than those I made when I simply noticed it was muddy for a while. I’ve lived and learned-a-bit and I’ll be asking questions of those with much Mud Season lived experiences.

If this is true of our own lived experiences, that understanding is a ways down a journey, let’s remember that reading or watching or hearing-about gets us to noticing and not to understanding when we are working to be an ally to those with a lived experience we don’t experience. Ask rather than tell. Follow rather than solve.

New-to-us is not the same as new. Wisdom from thos who understand is more valuable than our ideas-after-noticing.

Say this with me.

May we make spaces for thriving.
May we offer and receive loving-kindness,
May we live in safety.
May we experience ease.

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