The Parent Gathering

Congratulations to The Cottage Garden in Amherst, MA who have just renewed their Full Membership in WECAN!
www.thecottagegarden.org
Love and emotional warmth, rather than any particular early childhood pedagogy, create the basis for the children's healthy development. We strive to have these qualities live in our relationship to each other, in our relationships with the children, in the children's behavior toward one another and in our warm respect for each of you.
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Get your copy! A Family Yoga Book from Flower Yoga!

https://floweryoga.com/a-family-yoga-book

We are beginning a Parenting Series beginning on October 17th - The Soul Of Discipline - The Tween Years. Come join us!

“In its complexity and sensuality, nature invites exploration, direct contact, and experience. But it also inspires a sense of awe, a glimpse of what is still "un-Googleable" . . . life's mystery and magnitude.” - Kim John Payne, Author of The Soul of Discipline.

Science now shows that being in nature is very important for the brain development of children, tweens and teens. By spending time in nature, the developing brain will create more neurological connections, of greater complexity, leading to resilience, enhanced brain function and creativity. Being in nature is healing on so many levels. It connects us to the essence of who we are as human beings, deeply intertwined with all living beings on this earth. Spending time in the beauty and awesomeness of nature is a wonderful way to connect with our deeper selves, and our children and all living beings.

MAKE IT POSSIBLE: Make a decision to spend some quality time in nature with your child, teen or tween. Practice being in the present moment with the beauty and life giving spirit of nature. Allow your presence to let you connect more deeply with your child.

THE IMAGINE: Remember a time in your own childhood where you deeply connected with nature. Share this story with your child, as you explore the wonders of the natural world together.

We are offering online parenting series beginning October 17th - have a look: https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

STAY TUNED for details about our upcoming -online FAMILY LIFE Parent Gathering! We are excited to share our new blog… have a look☀️

Daily Rhythm in Family Life “Increasing the rhythm of your home life is one of the most powerful ways of simplifying your children's’ lives.”

“Children need time to become themselves
through play and social interaction. If you
overwhelm a child with stuff - with choices and
pseudo choices - before they are ready, they
will only know one emotional gesture: More!”
- Kim John Payne-
Children need plenty of time to socialize and play on their own each day, to digest the experiences of their day. Creative play is best encourage without props or even toys. Children can be very creative with a few simple everyday materials, and playing with items from nature outdoors. Children process so much during play - it truly their 'work' and the path to discovery about the world and to develop into their true selves.
THE IMAGINE: Imagine your child playing creatively on his/her own each day. Imagine simplifying your child's schedule to make plenty of time for this enriching activity.
MAKE IT HAPPEN: Cut back on your child's schedule this week, even letting go of one item. Make sure you child has free time to play on their own or with others, with simple, open-ended materials, to foster creaivtiy and initiative.
Please see our new online classes - beginning in March!:
We are offering a new online class designed to help parents find decrease stress and find more peace and calm in their daily lives at:https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

Parent Testimonial: "The Parent Gathering made Kim John Paine’s approach to parenting wonderfully accessible, digestible, and applicable to the parenting journey. This is not a one-size fits all approach, but a comprehensive parenting paradigm that respects the unique needs of a child’s development. Because of my experience in the Parent Gathering, I feel educated about and supported in my role in the intimate dance between my child and me."
Lilo, NYC

“Kids need time to process and digest what happens around them. Play for a young child and down time for a tween or teenager are critical to healthy emotional and social development. Rather than stuff our children’s lives with back-to-back activities, we need to embrace the gift of boredom, because boredom is the precursor of creativity.” - KJP
When a child is given time and space to just be, she can integrate all that she has learned and experienced during active times. This is so important for a child's well being. She will then have the space to access her unique inner well of creativity.
THE IMAGINE: Imagine your child having quiet time at home or in nature, and really being able to integrate all of the sensory/learning experines of the day or week. Imagine her engaged in a new way of being, connecting with her inner self.
MAKE IT HAPPEN: Schedule an afternoon each week for your child to have some quiet time for reflection and quiet. Observe your child - What do you notice?
We are offering a new online class designed to help parents find decrease stress and find more peace and calm in their daily lives at:https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

Parent Testimonial: "The Parent Gathering made Kim John Paine’s approach to parenting wonderfully accessible, digestible, and applicable to the parenting journey. This is not a one-size fits all approach, but a comprehensive parenting paradigm that respects the unique needs of a child’s development. Because of my experience in the Parent Gathering, I feel educated about and supported in my role in the intimate dance between my child and me."
Lilo, NYC

"A great starting point for dialing it down is clearing out the clutter.. .Parents have reported that, when they reduce physical clutter, their children' or teens' behavior improves. This makes sense if you consider what happens in the mental and emotional life of a child when he or she has less. When children have fewer things, what they do becomes precious.” - Kim John Payne
Simplifying our physical envriomentmenet can really have a positive effect on our whole famiy. When we have less, when there is organziation and less clutter, we feel more peace and calm. Your young child will value what they have and will be able to have better focus and creativity in their play.
THE IMAGINE: Imagine you home without clutter, organzied and simplififed. Feel the peace and calm inside.
MAKE IT HAPPEN: Pick one small area of your home and work on clearing, organizing and simplifying that area. Pick another small area to clear each week. Observe the difference in your self and your child.
We are offering a new online class designed to help parents find decrease stress and find more peace and calm in their daily lives at:https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

“Children need time to become themselves--through play and social interaction. If you overwhelm a child with stuff--with choices and pseudochoices--before they are ready, they will only know one emotional gesture: More!” - Kim John Payne
Free Play is key to healthy development of the young child. Children learn so much through play: social skills, sharing, working through emotions, problem solving, language skills, emotional intelligence, creativity, working with others, developing imagination and the basis of all later learning. They learn about their own inner needs and how to meet them. MAKE IT POSSIBLE: Schedule in a least two times per day for your child to have free uninterrupted play time. THE IMAGINE; Bring to mind a time in your childhood when you enjoyed free, uninterrupted play. What were your interested in? What did it feel like? Then bring this fresh perspective to your next interaction with your child. https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

”Limits and boundaries instill feelings of safety, trust, and, above all, orientation in your child.” ~Kim John Payne, Founder of Simplicity Parenting ~
Predictable daily rhythms and routines help a young child build a willingness to comply, cooperate and be open to new experiences, while mastering predictable self-care routines. MAKE IT HAPPEN: Choose a part of the day that can often be a challenge for you and your child, create a new and predictable rhythm to support that time. THE IMAGINE: Envision you and your child growing closer and enjoying this new transition. https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

"A key to parenting a teen at this stage is understanding that she will be subjective and single-issue focused. We need to counterbalance that by focusing on the big picture and guiding her when she gets lost. The mistake we often make is insisting that our teens get the big picture. They are not yet equipped to do that. That's why we are here, and that's exactly what the Guide can do."
-Kim John Payne
A key to communicating with your teen is understanding her stage of development, and then, providing the next stage where you would like her to grow. By giving her the "big picture" when she gets stuck in her own perceptions, this is a perfect time to Guide her to a broader vision. MAKE IT POSSIBLE: Take your teen to a beautiful place in nature where you an see a vista. While you talk to your teen, remind her that there is a wider view of the world that she will grow into in her own time, at her own pace. THE IMAGINE: Imagine a time when you were a teen and also were in your own narrow view of the world. Use that memory to bring understanding and compassion to your relationship with your teen. https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

“In its complexity and sensuality, nature invites exploration, direct contact, and experience. But it also inspires a sense of awe, a glimpse of what is still "un-Googleable" . . . life's mystery and magnitude.” - Kim John Payne, Author of The Soul of Discipline.

Science now shows that being in nature is very important for the brain development of children, tweens and teens. By spending time in nature, the developing brain will create more neurological connections, of greater complexity, leading to resilience, enhanced brain function and creativity. Being in nature is healing on so many levels. It connects us to the essence of who we are as human beings, deeply intertwined with all living beings on this earth. Spending time in the beauty and awesomeness of nature is a wonderful way to connect with our deeper selves, and our children and all living beings.

MAKE IT POSSIBLE: Make a decision to spend some quality time in nature with your child, teen or tween. Practice being in the present moment with the beauty and life giving spirit of nature. Allow your presence to let you connect more deeply with your child.

THE IMAGINE: Remember a time in your own childhood where you deeply connected with nature. Share this story with your child, as you explore the wonders of the natural world together.

We are offering online parenting series beginning October 17th - have a look: https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

"Relationships are forged in pauses" - Kim John Payne, Author of The Soul of Discipline
A very Happy Mothers' Day to each of you Moms! May you have a "pause" in your life today - one that honors all the many loving, devoted ways of caring for your children that you do each day. May you love, nurture and care for yourself today in the same way that you give to your children.
MAKE IT POSSIBLE: Ask yourself: What life lesson has motherhood gifted you? How have you most grown in yourself? What has been a surprise?
THE IMAGINE: Imagine what you are most grateful for in being a mother. What is the gift? Give yourself a gift today. . .
We are offering online parent classes- have a look: https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

“Because teenagers are in the process of figuring out where they stand in the world they can be spectacularly disinterested in adult opinions and very connected to their own feelings and perspectives.  when things go wrong, teenagers are a whole lot more likely to speak openly and cooperatively to you if the conversation is not loaded with subtle adult judgment or disappointment.”
~Kim John Payne, Founder of Simplicity Parenting~

Framing conversations with teens on supporting their greater goals and interests, anchors the conversation towards the focus to draw oneself closer to actions that pursue meeting the goal,  and helps the teen discover a healthy sense of discernment when making choices that might derail the goal. MAKE IT POSSIBLE: Recall your own teen years. Did you set goals? Did you have a mentor, guide or parent you could talk about it with? THE IMAGINE: Imagine yourself embodying that trustworthy quality you found in your guide. Take up the goal of honoring that quality in yourself. https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

“Summarize the patterns you see. Often, a lot of information will pour out. Tween girls feel much better when they feel that their parents are listening, but it’s also helpful when you see and clarify the bigger picture” - Kim John Payne, Author of The Soul of Discipline.
By giving your Tween the bigger picture, you can help her put her strong feelings into perspective. This can help to center and ground your tween, so that she can be in touch with her inner wisdom. MAKE IT POSSIBLE: As you listen to your Tween express her feelings, think of the wider context of what is happening in her life, that is bringing up these feelings. Describe this to your child to help her put her feelings into perspective: THE IMAGINE: Imagine yourself in the Tween years, when you were in an emotional state, in which your feelings took over. What did it feel like? Use this memory to have empathy for what your Tween is going through right now. https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

“Pay attention to timing. Shouting into a storm is futile. Choose a quiet moment to talk, well after the emotional upset has subsided..”- Kim John Payne, author of The Soul of Discipline.
Sometimes young children can become overwhelmed, frustrated and out-of-sorts, leading to a meltdown. When this happens, it can be helpful to remember that this is a child's way of showing that they are feeling "disoriented". One way to approach this it to foster inside yourself, the quality that your child needs in this moment. Your child is in a storm and she needs an anchor. MAKE IT POSSIBLE: Remember that this is your child's way of expressing herself in the moment. This is like a storm and it will subside. THE IMAGINE: Imagine that you are in the midst of a storm, yet you are calm and centered, an anchor, "the eye of the storm". Wait it out, and then reconnect your child once it has passed. https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering

“A quiet, loving presence is deeply affirming to a child. Anything else can be distraction and verbal clutter. The slow-soft-say practice is a way to consciously interrupt overpraising. Slow your pace and pause, Soft eyes - see your child. Say little.”
~Kim John Payne, Founder of Simplicity Parenting~

A loving embrace, kindness and joy from a caring adult, brings delight and cooperative behavior. MAKE IT HAPPEN: See what your little one is doing, name it, acknowledge it as you see it. THE IMAGINE: Notice how it feels to simply connect with your child’s world as it is right now.

“A good gardener or farmer will watch and listen to what the earth is saying or monitor the soil and its moisture content to know when to plant and when to harvest. Is it the right time to plant and to be safe from frost? When is the right time to harvest so that the crops do not turn out either under or over ripe? Patience and careful observations are necessary but when the decision is made, it has to be total in its commitment. A farmer cannot sort of harvest a field of wheat. In the tween years, our kids need us to show them that we are listening, watching, and tuning in to their changing ways of being able to manage themselves. But they also need us to show them we are still in charge and responsible for each final decision.” From "the Soul of Discipline" by Kim John Payne
The Gardner is a helpful metaphor for parenting a Tween. Since Tweens are changing so much on so many levels, it makes good sense to pay special attention to observing, watching and taking into account their newly burgeoning ideas, expanding point of view, sense of self and new ideas. Tweens need to know that we are interested in what they are saying and that we respect them and take into account their views before making decisions for them. This will stand them in good stead, when they get to the Teen years, when they will have more independence. MAKE IT POSSIBLE. Take on a gardening project with your Tween. It could be as simple as growing some plants indoors or outside near your home. Use this as a time to connect with your Tween and at the same time, notice how the gesture of the gardener works, so that you can apply this to other ways of observing/supporting your Tween. THE IMAGINE: Imagine that you are planting your favorite tree and pruning, observing, caring and tending to it it to create even riper, healthier fruit. Know that this image can help you in supporting your tween to be her best self. https://floweryoga.com/the-parent-gathering