JoyFoli Integrated

https://gofund.me/2462c329

I went to the Recovery Cafe Muncie’s annual fundraiser this morning with my dear friend Ginger Heyne and was blown away by the turnout and the beautiful recounts of recovery and connection. I especially appreciated the discussion around the importance of harm reduction and creating safe spaces for people.

I’m just wondering what the Recovery Cafe Hamilton County will be looking like next year and who we will have the honor to serve.

https://gofund.me/2462c329

My sweet people surprised me with a cake to celebrate an incredible accomplishment we’ve all been working at over the past several months. I’ve been working with this amazing group of people and I feel so fortunate to be embarking on this endeavor with them. Thank you Ambur Beasley, Bryan Beasley, Leif Ostara and Pam Caplinger (listed in alphabetical order and equally important) you are an invaluable team! What started out as a dream became a reality last week.

I have wanted to support the Recovery community in a unique way for a long time and have known about the Recovery Cafe model for several years and have been a member of the Recovery Cafe Indianapolis for a short time. I’m excited to say we have been approved for a Recovery Cafe Hamilton County! The Cafe provide support for marginalized communities of Hamilton County that are Justice involved, suffering from addiction, mental illness, homelessness in need in connection, resources and acceptance. There is much to do over the coming months. Stay tuned!

Please visit our gofundme to learn more about us and the Recovery Cafe. We need to fundraise $2500 to provide to the Recovery Cafe network to get started. We also need an extra $500 to table at upcoming events in the community and get the word out about the Cafe. Your donations will help get us off the ground and into our new space! Any amount is greatly appreciated!

I’m excited to be receiving this email today along with the certificate that I am a Certified IFS Practitioner. I set an intention to obtain my certification a little over a year ago after completing my Level 1 Training. The certification confirms that I’ve successfully completed my training, practiced a minimum number of hours in session with clients, been reviewed in session by a therapist to demonstrate my knowledge and competency using the model, received clinical consultation with an approved IFS therapist for a minimum number of hours to supervise me and participated in continuing education for a minimum number of hours.

My passion for IFS has caused me to surpass the minimum requirements. It has been a lot of work but I have learned so much!

IFS as Medical Treatment - Lissa Rankin, M.D.

Excited to be going to this!

IFS as Medical Treatment - Lissa Rankin, M.D. Please Click Here for a brief video where Lissa describes the workshop Lissa on IFS and the Pandemic "I sincerely believe IFS can offer life, body, mind, heart, and soul.Talking transparently with my close friends (who all use the IFS model on ourselves and in our relationships with each other), we....

Polarized systems have to take extreme views in order to balance each other out. To help then we treat each or all of them with respect and listen to their perspective.

Since the sixties, the traditional ways of being men and women have been challenged, confusing contradictions for both genders. Now men are expected to be strong and high achieving in the outside world but within their relationship they should be emotionally intelligent-in touch with and open about their feelings and nurturing of their partner’s feelings. The protectors they were raised to count on-rational, impatient, action-oriented problem solvers and entitled, macho objectifiers-are no longer welcome at home.”(You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For, Richard C. Schwartz)

How do you treat your little tiger when they get scared or go through a traumatic event? IFS is very somatically based and draws on Hakomi, a mindfulness centered somatic based therapy. What somatic cues do you notice when you’re feeling anxious or afraid?

Peter Levine the founder of Somatic Experiencing found tigers(all animals) in the wild shake violently after experiencing any fight/flight/freeze traumatic event. It is the bodies natural way to regulate and release trauma.

In our domesticated world we are often fearful of are children shaking or can’t just be with them when they’re crying. Be with your child’s natural response to fear, pain or sadness so any trauma can be released.

Most of us have parts we resent especially those that are hard on us; we would love for them to “poof” disappear. How could my part that discourages me from trying challenging new things be good for me? 🤔Perhaps this part is fearful about me failing or just the opposite, is terrified of what I might do with success.

Every part has a genuine concern and care for your well-being and may come up with extremely creative strategies to inhibit your success until their fears are properly quelled.

Our children thrive when we treat them well, along with our inner selves. Contact me for a free session!

The re-traumatizing of our exiles or vulnerable parts is completely unintentional. When we are young and our Self is not yet supported or resourced, our other parts don’t know what else to do but hide those parts away and reject them.

Our firefighter parts are the parts of us that utilize addiction, anger, sexual acting out, overeating, compulsive shopping (watching tv, reading or sleeping too) as strategies to numb pain. These parts are at the ready when vulnerability gets triggered.

Just like a real firefighter they will destroy a burning home to extinguish the flames. A firefighter’s only concern is to alleviate pain regardless of the consequences. Firefighter’s can be helped by connecting with them and respecting the important job they do along with unburdening the exile they protect.

Explore your parts daily to get to know them. It’s helpful to start practicing when you don’t feel completely blended with them or taken over by them. It can be an entertaining process.😊

Here I notice a part that’s stressed and really feeling a need to get my project done, "no time for Kitty on the computer!" it’s saying. I notice a guilty part that is critical and polarized with the last part saying, “wait, you’ve been so busy, Kitty is crying out for your attention, and you must allow her to stay on your laptop or forever sever your relationship!”, Another part pipes in “you are going to lose all of your work, get her off your computer, now!!!”.

All of these parts need their individual time and curiosity to be understood and heard. I know the part concerned about severing the relationship with my animal to be a very young little girl. The others after exploration I find are feeling really unsupported and feel better after being reminded they have a system and Self to help them.

Our exiles carry extreme beliefs that unfortunately become self-fulfilling prophecies. If for example, you aren’t open hearted because you fear people will leave you, the people in your life are much more likely to leave. This in turn further cements the exile’s belief that people always leave. This dynamic will continue until the exile is unburdened and able to heal.

Schedule a free consultation to meet your parts or message me!😊

In IFS the client is empowered by the practitioner/therapist’s trust in the client’s Self to lead the healing process. When the therapeutic relationship ends the client leaves with the inner knowing that ‘I did that’ along with confidence in their skills to continue healing.

Shaming messages create burdened parts who feel very ashamed/unlovable. Some common messages you may have heard growing up are:

*What’s wrong with you?
*You’re acting like a spoiled child.
*You’re acting like a selfish brat.
*You’re being a crybaby.
*Why can’t you be more like so and so?

Shaming is extremely effective at controlling behavior because the immediacy of feeling unloved and not ok by a trusted adult seems to take care of unwanted behavior quickly, however the longterm effects results in burdened adults that continue to pass down the shaming messaging to their children and significant relationships. No one is to blame, it is simply a result of burdens being passed down.

Parts language can be used all the time and can help your kids understand and accept their feelings. Acknowledging that you’re seeing your child has a part that really wants a toy and appreciating how hard that part is working at getting you to buy that toy, is a great use of Parts Language!

Watching Disney Pixar’s Inside Out with our own inner world in mind may help give us compassion and clarity for our parts that are often vying for control. Keep in mind in reality our parts our much more complex and multifaceted than portrayed in the movie, meaning each part has a personality and an array of feelings to match.

Let your perfectionist part know ‘parts mapping’ can’t be done incorrectly. It can be a great time to explore your parts and the relationships they have with each other. This can be done with your practitioner/therapist or on your own. It can be organized and catalogued, messy and colorful or anything in between. All parts welcome!

Neurobiologists and computer scientists have confirmed for decades the natural multiplicity of the mind. They like it to parallel processing computers, which have many small processors working on one problem independently to be more efficient and effective. That is how humans are able to handle so many complex situations without constantly shutting down.

The beauty and value of some of our parts can seem unfathomable at times. You may ask how can I appreciate my part that gets really angry, is addicted to a substance or feels overwhelmingly depressed? They all have a very sweet intention and once understood can be freed from their role.

As you start to observe your inner or outer dialogue you will notice we naturally speak in parts language. We usually have appreciation for the parts that we feel are doing things that are ‘helping’ us, like getting us to the gym. And typically want to change or dislike the parts that resist exercise or procrastinate. All of these parts have a good intention. Let’s find out what it is!

Why do we love our pets so much? Aside from being the cutest things ever, they help us to feel present, we don’t have to have any parts up protecting our vulnerabilities around our soft furry animals. Listening to the purring of my cat and petting her soft fur is a great way to get me into Self.

JoyFoli Integrated updated their business hours.

JoyFoli Integrated updated their business hours.

In IFS our exiles contain very precious qualities; liveliness, creativity, spontaneity and joie de vivre. They may be allowed to rarely come out because along with the precious parts they carry the vulnerable burdens of shame and episodes of the past. The healed exiles are free to play and live in the present.

We usually have young parts that believe someone out there can take care of us in a way that will finally extinguish the deep loneliness we feel inside. Initially that works in a relationship, but what those unhealed parts truly need is to be seen and cared for by the person they reside in. We then become our own primary caregiver and if we are in relationship that person is our secondary caregiver.

With IFS and knowledge of the multiplicity of the mind you can respond very differently when your partner says hurtful things or acts in extreme ways. When in the middle of a fight, he says he can’t stand you and wishes he never married you, those words feel less devastating if you’re aware they come from a young tantruming part of him, and not that he is finally revealing his true feelings.(Dick Schwartz, You’re the One You’ve Been Waiting For)

Initially our protectors may remind us it’s very unsafe to allow our exiles to share their story, they are our greatest source of vulnerability. However as we begin to show ourselves as being trustworthy, dependable and reparent in a way these inner parts need, our protectors can relax. People find as more harmony inside is created, externally life feels better.

JoyFoli Integrated updated their phone number.

JoyFoli Integrated updated their phone number.

Before we begin healing, our parts are often running the show. Usually we see the people we are in relationships with as a second chance to repair the painful relationship we had with a parent and show them we’re ‘enough’ or see them as the perpetrator of pain from the past. Although we may have chosen a partner with similar traits to our parents we never really allow an organic relationship to form because our parts are stuck in the past.