Play to Learn Neurodiversity Consulting

For Autistic and ADHD children, navigating transitions can be tough, leading to emotional struggles. It goes beyond a simple shift in activities, requiring a nuanced approach. Offering regulation, time for processing endings, and closure are essential.

Given support from the bottom-up, kids will develop the executive function skills they need to handle challenges and remain regulated.This Saturday May 11th I’m presenting a training with Hudson Valley Professional Development entitled, “Executive Functioning: Brain-Based Solutions and Practical Insights.” Find more info in the link in my story!

Play is the foundation for building emotional regulation and executive function skills. Autistic and ADHD kids can struggle combining play ideas, which impacts the way they integrate information and converse with others. In this scenario, I show you how we follow the child’s lead while offering a challenge. Through this process, he gains confidence and accepts that a different idea can be worthwhile.

Fun fact: I LOVE the word idea! We use it all the time in my practice and the ND Collective. How do you refer to your child’s intentions? Let me know in the comments.

When we look at “science” that’s deeply rooted in behavior management with goals like planned ignoring or consequences/rewards, we get ourselves stuck in a fixed mindset. The expectation seems illogical to me. How are you making ADHD kids “flexible thinkers” by not even seeking their perspective first? Choosing to understand and gain knowledge of the why behind a behavior is trivial. Saying that there’s no science behind it rejects the life work of individuals like Mona Delahooke, Ph.D. and Gabor Maté. We also need knowledge of the how - how do I take this understanding of what’s happening in the nervous system of my child who is clearly in pain from their struggle and approach any situation with empathy? This is where language comes in. The latest book from Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart, is actually about connection and language. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey have written What Happened to You? as a guide to dig deeper into resilience and healing. There is a clear, evidence based, scientific hierarchy of how the brain develops. And how we need to attend to regulation first. Once regulated, we can relate. And only after the nervous system is regulated and related can we begin to reason. Take the work of Stuart Shanker from The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd. What we do for ND kids is all about relationships!

We have got to let go of this notion that only a reward/consequence system works. And that behavioral intervention, not play therapy, is the only approach scientifically proven. How can we deny decades of play research? All we can do is continue to show up as professionals who will support the ND community in ways like Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint. All we can do is continue educating ourselves and others about the value of relationships and the beauty of play based interventions. We have got to ! This actually IS a movement, so let’s make it one!

It’s not a misbehavior, it’s a regulation challenge. Addressing the skills needed to truly help a neurodivergent child regulate is hard! No wonder so many recommendations are behavior based. It’s easier to blame than adjust the entire process. And yet, when you shift your perspective, you gain clarity.

I’m not talking about regulating with a screen or “allowing your child to be disrespectful.” I’m talking about getting that an Autistic or ADHD child is struggling, supporting them through their struggle, and showing up regulated and connected when they need you the most.

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Many parents and guardians face these daunting challenges daily, often compounded by outdated, neurotypical-oriented approaches that fail to recognize the unique strengths of ND children.

What if there was a more effective, empathetic way to raise your neurodivergent child? What if, by making small shifts to how you show up, you can completely alter the way your child responds? Access the ND Collective’s valuable resources and community today https://playtolearnconsulting.com/ndcollective/

I had an impromptu snack with an ADHD 2nd grader. As soon as he unwrapped his granola bar, he looked over at dad and said, "Can I have your phone?" Dad looked over at me frozen.

I responded with, "Our snack is a little different here. We just chat." I was met with a confused glance followed by a pause. We continued with some suggestions from me, like "We can chat about your favorite show," that were all met with a version of "no" or "I don't want to." From a behavior standpoint, this would look like noncompliance or defiance. It was so NOT that. It was a young child figuring out where he stands. A boy who was experiencing a new way of snacking. I was grasping the opportunity to plant a new idea in his mind while showing dad another way to connect.

If your meals are being spent with an electronic, you've probably been told that it's the only way to get your child to eat. Or it's a habit you've fallen into that you can't seem to break. That's because mealtimes with ND kids can be exhausting! What you need is a complete overhaul of your mealtime experience. Reach out and you can have a gathering that you look forward to.

How hard is change for you? When we've invested time, energy and other resources into methods that come up short, it's hard to let those go. Even though you know what you're doing isn't working, you're stuck and concerned that, if you admit to it, you've automatically failed. Believe me, you haven't! Far from it. Let it go!

⁣Find out what to do about the stress and overwhelm you and your neurodivergent child are feeling in my latest ebook. Comment "ND parent" and we'll send you the link!

Many neurodivergent children struggle with understanding social cues or conventions of social interactions. This can cause anxiety. Interactions become tense leading to outbursts and meltdowns about who had something “first” or being told that they have to “share.”

Find out what to do about the stress and overwhelmed you and your neurodivergent child are feeling in my latest ebook https://bit.ly/7-reasons-ebook-Polina

Due to their differences and the way they perceive social situations, neurodivergent children may face bullying or feel isolated.
Rather than running in to fix their thought process, we have to show them, from a strength-based view point, what their successes are. Again, instead of telling them that they’ve done a “good job,” we want them to fully experience that success, which comes from just a little bit of struggle (with support, of course!). These are skills for the long-term!

⁣Learn what to do about the stress and overwhelmed you and your neurodivergent child are going through in my latest ebook. Comment “ND parent” and we’ll send you the link!

The anxiety and overwhelm parents and neurodivergent kids experience show up as yelling matches leaving everyone at a loss. There is so much to uncover as to the real "why." In the upcoming year, it's time to declutter. Get rid of those planned ignoring methods, telling your child how they feel, or making them calm down first. With so much noise, it's hard to figure out what your neurodivergent child really needs.

Now is the time to take action for you and for your ND child. I have created a guide exploring 7 reasons families with ND kids experience unrelenting overwhelm. Give yourself the knowledge you've been searching for. Get it here https://playtolearnconsulting.com/neurodivergent-kids-anxiety-and-overwhelm-ebook/

Learn the 3-step process that has helped hundreds of families with neurodivergent kids achieve emotional regulation, build skills for sustaining relationships, and implement lifelong strategies without shame or reprimand. The ND Child blueprint is the most complete trainning I’ve created so far, whether you’re a parent, educator, or caregiver, I hope the tools I share help you build a stronger, more empathetic connection with your ND kids.

I understand that parents are often pressed for time. That’s why I’ve structured the ND Child Blueprint to be flexible and manageable. You can access the material whenever it fits into your schedule! Save your spot at https://bit.ly/ND-Child-blueprint.

We already have an ND movement with school staff attending from Thank you for spreading the word about the importance of neurodiversity!✨

School struggles can range from not being able to “keep up” with academic demands to altercations with peers. There are also misunderstandings from teachers and staff about how a challenge could be handled. Unfortunately, kids are STILL being placed in time out, told they’re missing recesses, and denied other “specials.” The worst part is that their parents are being told to continue the reprimand at home!

It’s no wonder that your child says, “today was a bad day.” It takes just one instance, and the response your child receives, that overshadows their entire day. Then, the “I had a bad day,” turns into “I must be bad.

Find out what to do about the stress and overwhelm you and your ND child are feeling in my latest ebook. Link in BIO!

When you start showing up in the way the child NEEDS, they’ll show up differently too. Kids are not behavioral, they’re asking for support in their own ways.
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I’m inviting you to the ND Child Blueprint that I created to support families with neurodivergent kids. I’m thrilled to share my knowledge and expertise to help you take action and improve your relationship with your child.⁣ Join me on this 3-part event starting January 22nd. Register for free in the link in bio!

Love when a message resonates! Quoted from the newsletter that was sent out this morning: “Those unexpected situations are moments when change comes at us quickly and we don’t have enough skills, yet, to pull back, recognize other options, sort through the options, and make an intentional decision based on the evidence gathered.”
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Join me in this two day, in-depth training to explore a relationship-based approach to conceptualizing executive function skills. We will focus on neurodevelopment through client case studies, including autism and ADHD, delving into aspects of play and theory of mind to give you a comprehensive perspective into the intricacies of executive functioning.

Mental health professional receive CEUs through Hudson Valley Professional Development. Parents are also welcome! http://www.eventbrite.com/e/750924604707/?discount=PromoCode

When you have the insight into how your child responds to their version of an overwhelm, you can support them through their discomfort. You can help them regain regulation!

To learn more about stress and overwhelm specific to your ND child, get my latest ebook. Link in BIO!

Usually, sharing isn't caring because you're asked to give something up. That's really hard for a neurodivergent child. During this New Year season though, I'm sharing a special gift with you! I'm excited to introduce an eBook tailored for parents of neurodivergent kids, aiming to give you insight into understanding anxiety and overwhelm. 📚"7 Reasons why you & your neurodivergent kids experience anxiety and overwhelm...and what to do about it" is my heartfelt present to you. DOWNLOAD HERE 👉 https://bit.ly/7-reasons-ebook-Polina

Wishing you and your family a wonderful New Year filled with warmth, understanding, and endless possibilities. Share this and help us reach more neurodivergent families!

Start from a place of wonder. Let go of "why aren't they listening?!" Get curious and consider "what's really happening here?" That's how we take on challenges and deepen connections to build trust on ALL levels.

The holiday season usually comes with family gatherings, big and small. For neurodivergent kids, the change in their environment is really hard and it can lead to dysregulation. I’ve had a parent recently write to me, “I had to take an actual step back, collect myself, and go ‘okay, what would Polina do’?”

Let go of expectations that add more pressure. Share this and help us reach more neurodivergent families!

When Autistic and ADHD kids are at capacity, those tough moments show up quite rapidly. It can look like it's "out of nowhere," BUT you have no idea what's been brewing under the surface. It's the 0 to 100 that is thought of as purposeful, when, it is actually a nervous system response that needs supportive feedback. Rather than being met with warnings and threats, meet kids exactly where they are.

Have a questions or thought about this process? Let me know in the comments!

We love a good routine! We like knowing what’s next in our day, how long it will take to get home from the office, and what’s for dinner. For neurodivergent kids, routines are so much MORE than knowing what’s coming next. They are grounding and provide predictable patterns.

Meanwhile, unexpected changes can cause distress. Not having the skills to manage even the smallest shifts leads to immense anxiety. It's the worry about the unknown.

Find out what to do about the stress and overwhelm you and your ND child are feeling in my latest ebook. Comment "ND parent" and we'll send you the link!

I talk about this idea all the time! Especially when parents focus on, "but she doesn't respect me!" My first thought is that you're already the parent. Wanting to prove that you're in charge will only push you into using threats or warnings. Instead, parent from a place of understanding. You're the parent AND the safety net. Have you considered that wanting to be right would mean making your child wrong?

When there is a mismatch between current skills - what your child can do right now - and what you believe your child has the ability to do, you are unintentionally creating an expectation gap.

Imagine a physical divide, like two sides of a river connected by a bridge. You are essentially asking your child to jump across that river because you (or someone else) thinks your child "should."

Find out what to do about the stress and overwhelm you and your ND child are feeling in my latest ebook! https://playtolearnconsulting.com/neurodivergent-kids-anxiety-and-overwhelm-ebook/

Trust is a tricky thing. It has different layers that are all connected. When neurodivergent kids have trust in their own bodies, it means they understand where they are in a space. Trust in the environment means that there won't be sudden, extreme changes.

Trust in the people means that no matter how the child shows up, the adult will show up in a regulated way. Instead of telling ND kids that they should just trust you, continue to show up trustworthy.

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I want you to ask yourself: What's working for my child? What's working for me? What's working for our family?

With mealtimes, it's really important to reevaluate from time to time...especially when you're in doubt of what's working and what isn't.
Think of mealtimes as habits. Consider how long it takes for you to pick up a new habit and keep it up. These basics are life-long skills and there is so much more at stake than just "being picky." What are you struggling with during mealtimes? Let us know in the comments👇🏻