Apiary Coaching, Facilitation, Training

I am thrilled to partner with Antoinette Coetzee and William Strydom to offer this live virtual course to scrum masters around the world. It's a journey and we can't wait to start!

Great fun with a group of students at a Leesburg micro-school while building the foundations of Personal Kanban. I can't wait until next week!

Blank page, stickies, pencil, coffee, and a spark of inspiration. Stay tuned...

When People Ask You How You Are, Stop Saying "Busy"​

What do you need to give up to not be busy? What would you gain?

When People Ask You How You Are, Stop Saying "Busy"​ There’s a response to a commonly asked question that’s become a conversational crutch: “How’s it going?” “Good! Just busy.” This exchange is ubiquitous in both our personal and professional lives.

I enjoyed training Junior Girl Scout leaders today. It was fun to have them teach one another and to show them how to build on what they already know.*

Need Help Paying For College? There's An App For That

October 1 is coming. Did you know there's now a FAFSA app? Here's an NPR story tat might alleviate some of you FAFSA fears. https://www.npr.org/2018/09/25/649602940/need-help-paying-for-college-theres-an-app-for-that

Need Help Paying For College? There's An App For That The U.S. Department of Education has developed a new smartphone app that it hopes will make the notoriously difficult Free Application For Federal Student Aid a little easier.

The Real Way Teens Should Respond on Their College Essays

It's that time of year. https://grownandflown.com/real-way-teens-respond-college-essays/

The Real Way Teens Should Respond on Their College Essays College essays ask questions of our teens that assume a level of maturity and experience that most of them haven’t yet achieved.

How many of you are going through this roller coaster of emotions right now? How many of you have thought about how you'll feel when your child leaves for college, trade school, a new job, or an apartment of his/her own?

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156230342248301&id=295199098300

My oldest child graduated from high school in June. A big milestone moment for a parent, right? She was accepted to her first choice college, and we were all so happy and everything was just fine.

And then this summer she worked to save money, and we talked about the things she would need for school. We bought new bedding for her dorm. And it was exciting and I was fine.

We bought storage drawers and a mini fridge. We ordered her textbooks online and shipped them to her dorm address. And still, I was fine.

Then yesterday we packed everything into the car, and set off for school. We moved her into a clean, bright, dorm. We had a lovely dinner with her new roommate, and it all should have been fine.

But when I hugged my daughter good-bye and watched her walk down that city street, away from us, her family, her protectors, it was like watching her walk straight out of her childhood. And into the unknown. And suddenly, I was not fine. So now, I’ll write.

It’s like I’ve been hit with the emotional equivalent of a hurricane. I mean, I figured I’d be sad when she left. You can’t spend every single day of 18 years with someone and then not miss them when they move away. Even if your kid is a pain in the ass. Which mine isn’t, by the way, which maybe makes it harder.

And I knew I would feel worry. Because up until now I pretty much knew where my child was at all times. I knew what time she went to bed, what time she woke up, and what she ate for breakfast. Now, overnight, she’s living in a big city and I don’t know when she came home, or if she remembered to bring a jacket. The only word I can think of to describe all of this not-knowing is…unsettling.

Along with the worry, strangely, is guilt. Second-guessing everything I ever did as a parent. Did I adequately prepare her for the “real” world? Did I scare her too much or not enough? Will she really keep the pepper spray in her backpack? Why didn’t I make her take a self-defense class? Does she even know how to mail a package?

Anger. I didn’t expect to feel anger. Yes, I am pi**ed off at the world right now for not preparing me for this. How many pieces of unsolicited advice do we get in our years of parenting? At every other milestone I felt inundated with information and opinions. People talk endlessly about how hard it is having a newborn, the toddler tantrums, picky eater preschoolers. The middle school years…mean girls, bullying. High school…peer pressure, drugs, academic stress. And so on. I mean, you can’t get people to SHUT UP about that stuff.

But when you mention your child is leaving for college, the response has been invariably, “Oh, how exciting!” Well, now that it’s happened I’m like, “Wait a minute! Why did NOBODY tell me, I mean REALLY tell me, that, THIS, THIS is the milestone that is the absolute HARDEST parenting time of all?” Not one single person said, “I’m so sorry, that’s totally going to suck for you.”

And of COURSE I am happy for her. And of COURSE I am excited for her. And no, I wouldn’t rather her stay home forever. But none of that mitigates the fact that for me, the mom, it does totally suck right now. So I am telling you now, young parents, because no one actually told me. It sucks. You’re welcome.

People say, “Oh, you’re lucky that her school is close to home,” which until yesterday, gave me some comfort. But I quickly realized that it doesn’t matter much if she’s not in her bedroom and she’s two hours away or she’s not in her bedroom and she’s ten hours away. Either way, she’s not in her bedroom. Either way, the house is too quiet.

I keep having this vision in my head of my little girl walking away, towards her building, and in this vision I’m fighting back tears and yelling, “WAIT! Turn around! Please, I’m not done yet. I need more time…just a little more time!”

But my time is up and all I can do is hope that I used it well.

And though my heart is heavy and my emotions are muddled, my head is clear, and I do know the truth of the matter. I may need just a little more time…but she doesn’t. She’s strong and she’s smart and she’s beautiful and she’s ready.

She’s all yours, world. Please treat her kindly.

(via I Might Be Funny)

High-Paying Trade Jobs Sit Empty, While High School Grads Line Up For University

What does your child REALLY want to do when s/he grows up?
https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2018/04/25/605092520/high-paying-trade-jobs-sit-empty-while-high-school-grads-line-up-for-university?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social

High-Paying Trade Jobs Sit Empty, While High School Grads Line Up For University Huge shortages loom in the skilled trades, which require less — and cheaper — training. Should that make students rethink the four-year degree?

Staffing Data Center Alley: Loudoun Looks to Train Up Next Generation of Tech Pros

People actually work in those data centers. If your child is interested, check this out!

http://loudounnow.com/2018/05/30/staffing-data-center-alley-loudoun-looks-to-train-up-next-generation-of-tech-pros/

Staffing Data Center Alley: Loudoun Looks to Train Up Next Generation of Tech Pros Northern Virginia Community College is launching a program to fill the workforce for one of Loudoun’s most famous and fast-growing industries: data centers. Loudoun is home to more than 75 data centers, according to the county Department of Economic Development, and more open every year. NVCC’s ...

Less cramming. More Frisbee. At Yale, students learn how to live the good life.

It's crunch time at school. How can you get you kid/s to play more and study less today?

https://www-washingtonpost-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/local/education/less-cramming-more-frisbee-at-yale-students-learn-how-to-live-the-good-life/2018/05/12/bb02525a-4ee4-11e8-84a0-458a1aa9ac0a_story.html

Less cramming. More Frisbee. At Yale, students learn how to live the good life. Lessons from the school’s largest class ever are being shared online around the world.

Are you an LCPS family looking for apprentice and workforce options for your child after high school? Heritage High is hosting an information event for students and families on May 21 at 7pm. I hope to see you there!

Happy Monday, everyone!

This tree grows out over the Potomac, perpendicular to the river bank. My children happily walk out to the boards nailed towards the top of the tree. I walk to where the water starts and stop. Every. Time.

Last week I decided that I no longer want to be afraid to walk the length of the tree. I'd like to conquer that fear and enjoy the thrill of standing with my girls over the water. My girls' confidence challenges me to be confident.

How do your children--or children you know-- challenge you to conquer your fears, to be confident, to be brave?

America Is Drowning in Lists

Drowning in to-do lists? Check out this humourous WSJ article that argues that we are, and stay tuned. On Fridays, Apiary will share tips on how to move from the oppression of to-do lists to the flow of Personal Kanban. https://www.wsj.com/articles/if-you-want-to-make-the-a-list-you-have-to-make-a-list-1524843488

America Is Drowning in Lists Productivity gurus advise us to make to-do lists to improve our lives. But the list of possible lists is maddening.

My dog and I startled a Great Blue Heron on our hike today. That bird then, in turn, startled an Egret. I hike in these woods nearly everyday, and everyday there is something at which to marvel. Where do you go that is marvelous?

One of my clients is applying for a job that she REALLY wants. She's perfect for it. In our weekly call, she told me how much she dreaded writing the cover letter (who doesn't?!). I could hear the heaviness in her voice when she told me that it felt like such a joyless task to match her skills with the job description. So, we started talking about what SHE would bring to the position, what SHE LOVES about her current work, and how SHE will bring her WHOLE SELF to this important new work. Her voice changed from heavy to excited. "That is your cover letter," I said.

What do you bring to your work? What do you love about it?

A conversation with your coach can turn frustration and dread into discovery, delight, and anticipation. That's one of the many things I LOVE about coaching.

Happy Monday, everyone! Thank you for joining me at Apiary. I look forward to sharing my passion for coaching, facilitating, and training.

My coaching focus is on helping parents who are overwhelmed by their child's senior year of high school. I help them help their child figure out where s/he wants to be in the year after high school and the steps to get there. Parents who work with me move from being the worker bee in their child's life to the beekeeper.

Please join me in this journey. Comment when you feel inspired. Post articles you think will encourage more conversation. And tell your friends about this page. They are not alone as their children near the end of grade school and prepare for college, trade school, job training, and work.