Shadow Hills Counselor

Elementary school counselor in the Boise School District - here is where I share information that I

Operating as usual

07/28/2021

Be that parent.

Promote kindness. 💕

#LoveWhatMatters

Credit: Living FULL

Timeline Photos 07/27/2021

Yes!

Normalize setbacks by talking about them instead of hiding them. These are part of life and they make us stronger over time. It's all about building resiliency for kids and teens!

07/26/2021

Powerful

Simone Biles came on the TV screen.

My husband commented to our girls - “She’s the world’s greatest gymnast”.

I added, “and she’s really brave”.

My 5yo looked at me and asked, “why?”

So I told her.

“Because the American gymnasts used to have a team doctor, who turned out to be a tricky person. He was touching the girls’ private parts. For the girls it was so scary to tell anyone. They didn’t know if anyone would believe them and they were scared they’d lose their spot on the team.

But Simone Biles was one of the girls who spoke up and said what had been happening, and now that tricky doctor is in jail”.

I could see she was still listening, so I added,
“And now, she’s got her own Gymnastics centre, where they make sure the kids are all safe, where their parents can easily watch over them, and they are spoken to kindly instead of being yelled at, which is what lots of coaches do, but it’s not ok”.

My daughter didn’t respond.

She got out of her chair, and watched every moment of Simone Biles’ routine.

⬆️ Teachable moments about body safety and children’s rights are everywhere.

Take them.

(Photo from the Team USA Instagram page, Getty Images).

** Editing to add: please know that this post was never intended as a history lesson. I’ve written word for word what I said to my 5yo - I did my best to simplify the story for her, and I represented that here.

Simone Biles was not the first athlete to speak out, she spoke out later - I don’t think this makes her less brave. People go through their own journeys and speak up in their own time. She has kept showing up. She has pressed for change. All of this is brave beyond measure.

If you haven’t heard the story, or want more information, please watch the documentary Athlete A. Or just Google it. You can find all the details just about everywhere.

The response to this post has been overwhelming.

I hope the key point was clear: Seize the moments to talk to your kids. Be open. There are age-appropriate ways to talk about everything. They are ready for more than you think.

07/24/2021

This is likely to be true again this year...help your kids have a positive attitude by helping them make the best of it. :)

07/23/2021

Great discussion to have with your kids! What do they think about males and females being treated differently in sports? (Or ANYWHERE for that matter?)

Norway’s women’s beach handball team was fined by the European Handball Federation this week for wearing shorts rather than bikini bottoms at the European Championships over the weekend. Dress codes set by the International Handball Federation - IHF require women to wear bikini bottoms of no more than four inches in length "with a close fit and cut on an upward angle toward the top of the leg." In contrast, male players, as can be seen this photo of the Norwegian male and female beach handball teams, can wear shorts as long as four inches above the knees as long as they aren't "too baggy." During Sunday's game against Spain, the women's team wore athletic shorts in protest of the bikini requirement; as a result, each player was fined €150 ($177) per player, or €1,500 ($1,770) in total. Now, other teams are backing them up and demanding changes to the regulations. "We are overwhelmed by the attention and support from all over the world!" the team said following the game. "We really hope this will result in a change of this nonsense rule!"

Norway's team has been arguing for changes to the regulation for years, arguing that the bikini bottoms are less comfortable than shorts and sexualize the athletes. Other teams agree: "The players tell me they are uncomfortable, feel naked, and watched," says Valérie Nicolas, the manager of the French national team. "We have lost players due to the suits." Norway originally planned to wear their shorts throughout the tournament. "However, just before the match we were told that we will be disqualified if we play like that," Haltvik says. "So we had to go with the bikini bottoms" until they were out of the running for gold.

When asked about the reason for the bikini requirement when men are permitted to play in shorts, International Handball Federation spokeswoman Jessica Rockstroh said that she didn't know the reason behind the rules but that they're "looking into it internally." Norwegian Handball Federation president Kare Geir Lio says it's past time for a change. "We have contacted them and worked for this for several years," he says. "It should be a free choice within a standardized framework... The most important thing is to have equipment that athletes are comfortable with."

Kudos for the Norwegian team for taking a stand against sexism in sports!

Sports aren't the only area where girls and women face sexist dress codes; for a timely new novel about tween girls taking on their school's unfair dress code, we recommend "Dress Coded" for ages 10 to 13 at https://www.amightygirl.com/dress-coded

For two excellent books about girls and women breaking athletic records throughout history -- often while defying rules and regulations about who could participate and what they could wear -- check out "Girls With Guts!" for ages 6 to 9 (https://www.amightygirl.com/girls-with-guts) and "Women in Sports: 50 Fearless Athletes Who Played to Win" for ages 9 and up (https://www.amightygirl.com/women-in-sports)

For two guides to help build tween and teens' confidence in standing up for themselves and others, we recommend "Stand Up for Yourself and Your Friends" for ages 7 to 12 (https://www.amightygirl.com/stand-up-for-yourself-and-your-friends) and “Express Yourself: A Teen Girl’s Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are” for age 13 and up (https://www.amightygirl.com/express-yourself-guide)

And, for a fantastic t-shirt that speaks to the fact that strength has nothing to do with gender, check out the “I'm not strong for a girl. I'm just strong.” t-shirt for both kids and adults at https://www.amightygirl.com/strong-t-shirt

Image credit: Norges Håndballforbund

07/20/2021

Being kind is ALWAYS better than being cool.

07/20/2021

A really good reminder.
Be kind to yourself.

"Important reminder. 👊🏻"

#LoveWhatMatters

Credit: Living FULL

07/20/2021

Print this and put it on the fridge! Great phrases for your family to use on a daily basis.

New Post! 😍 Here are 10 positive self-talk phrases every kid and teen should know: https://www.thepathway2success.com/10-positive-self-talk-phrases-every-learner-should-know/

[07/18/21]   Love Officer Gomez and his information!

Timeline Photos 07/17/2021

Print this and put it on your mirror AND your child's mirrror!

Say it with us! 📢 My body can do incredible things. 💛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#herbodycan #bodycanbooks #bodyneutrality #bodypositivity #bodypositive #bodyacceptance #allbodiesaregoodbodies #bodypositivekids #childrensbook #childrensbooks #kidsbooks #bookstagram #picturebooks #kidlit #kidsbookstagram #booksforkids #raisingreaders #childrensbookstagram #storytime #storytimereads

07/17/2021

This is so important! Violence is NEVER love. Please don't teach young girls that it is.

When girls get teased, harassed, or bullied by boys, there’s often someone who pulls out this tired phrase: “I bet he likes you!” Our blog post explores what "he must like you" really teaches kids, breaks down several reasons why we need to stop associating mistreatment with romantic affection, and how parents can counter this type of behavior at https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=21631

To start teaching children -- girls and boys alike -- from a young age about the need to respect others and their personal boundaries, we recommend "Let's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent, and Respect" for ages 4 to 7 (https://www.amightygirl.com/body-boundaries) and "My Body! What I Say Goes!" for ages 3 to 6 (https://www.amightygirl.com/my-body)

For older kids, check out the excellent "Consent (for Kids!)" for ages 6 to 10 at https://www.amightygirl.com/consent-for-kids

There is also a helpful new guide for teens on topics such as consent and coercion, "Real Talk About S*x and Consent: What Every Teen Needs to Know," for ages 13 and up at https://www.amightygirl.com/real-talk-about-sex-and-consent

For a powerful book that explores the common problem of sexual harassment in middle school, we highly recommend "Maybe He Just Likes You" for ages 10 and up at https://www.amightygirl.com/maybe-he-just-likes-you

For two excellent books to help give tween and teen girls the confidence to stand up for themselves and others, we recommend "Stand Up For Yourself and Your Friends” for ages 7 to 12 (https://www.amightygirl.com/stand-up-for-yourself-and-your-friends) and “Express Yourself: A Teen Girl’s Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are” for ages 13 and up (https://www.amightygirl.com/express-yourself-guide)

Thanks to author / illustrator Elise Gravel - English for sharing this important graphic!

[07/16/21]   Always a good idea to be aware of the challenges kids are talking about and sharing with each other, so you can talk about them as a family.

07/13/2021

Always.

Repost via @weteach_letstalk

La. teen, hoops star cruises to historic bee win 07/09/2021

La. teen, hoops star cruises to historic bee win

What a remarkable young woman!

La. teen, hoops star cruises to historic bee win Zaila Avant-garde, a 14-year-old from Harvey, Louisiana, breezed to the championship at the Scripps National Spelling Bee on Thursday night.

07/08/2021

Children are always watching. Show them how to have healthy adult relationships by modeling.

Our children are watching, listening and learning how to be in a relationship. All parent relationships have their moments...children can handle that much better when they see us handle it thoughtfully and also see us care for, support and love each other every day.

Some nice ideas for Role Modelling healthy relationships to our children from @couplescounsellingforparents.

xx ❤️ Madhavi Nawana Parker #healthyrelationships #family #parenting #warmth #connection #forgiveness #madhavinawanaparker #positivemindsaustralia

Timeline Photos 07/06/2021

Learning social skills outside during the summer? Yes, please!

Working on social skills isn't just an activity confined to the classroom. There are many different ways kids and teens can work on social skills outside, too! Here are a few of my favorites. What else would you add?

Also, I'm linking to the article with more info and strategies for you to try!

https://www.thepathway2success.com/outdoor-activities-to-build-social-skills/

07/04/2021

Always.

Always.

06/29/2021

Let’s raise our children to feel better about their bodies than we do. Here are some simple tips.

Here are five quick tips to encourage a body neutral environment for your children.

* Don't comment negatively on other people's appearance in front of your child. (ex: “She shouldn't be wearing that, He has gained weight, She would be so pretty if…”)

* Don't comment negatively on your own appearance in front of your child. (ex: “I look so fat, I need to lose weight, I feel so ugly.”)

* Don't assign moral value to food. Teach your kids that food is fuel and necessary to live. Calories should not be feared. Eating and exercising should be mindful and deliberate, but never used as punishment or for manipulation.

* Focus conversation around non appearance related attributes. (Ex: “You are so kind/funny/smart/strong/unique!”)

* Spend time deconditioning your own upbringing. Evaluate old toxic habits and rules surrounding food and movement that stem from what YOU learned as a child. Let the toxic messaging around food and movement and body standards end with our generation.

What would you add?

Please share if this resonates. ❤️

Timeline Photos 06/25/2021

How to talk to your daughter (or son) about her body….

"How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don't say anything if she's lost weight. Don't say anything if she's gained weight.

If you think your daughter's body looks amazing, don't say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

"You look so healthy!" is a great one.

Or how about, "You're looking so strong."

"I can see how happy you are -- you're glowing."

Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

Don't comment on other women's bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

Don't you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don't go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don't say, "I'm not eating carbs right now." Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that's a good thing sometimes.

Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you'll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn't absolutely in love with.

Prove to your daughter that women don't need men to move their furniture.

Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

Pass on your own mom's recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It's easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don't. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul."

~ Sarah Koppelkam via The Cosmic Dancer

#LoveWhatMatter

📷: Rockabetty25

06/19/2021

Truth!

Truth!

Photos from Shadow Hills Counselor's post 06/15/2021

Posted @withregram • @ckyourprivilege The CYP Team stands with trans athletes. Let trans kids, and trans girls especially, play sports! Trans kids belong. Swipe through the slides to read through responses to common arguments against trans girls competing in girls’ sport.

Follow @pinkmantaray (the creator of these slides & campaign) and visit pinkmantaray.com/lettranskidsplay for more information!

If you’d like to join us, hop over to @pinkmantaray link in bio to download a printable sign and join the campaign by making your own post!

#LetTransKidsPlay #TransAthlete

06/11/2021

Like what you like!

Like what you like!

06/09/2021

Want school to be normal in the fall? Then PLEASE get yourself and your loved ones vaccinated!

REMINDER: The pandemic is NOT over. Help your communities get vaccinated, and keep taking public health precautions such as masking when appropriate.

06/09/2021

Thought experiment for parents: Imagine you are driving kids home from practice and your son's friend, Josh, says to another, "Mike, you are so re****ed in basketball! Do you have any idea how gay you looked shooting today?" How do you, the parent, respond?" You might get tense, and wonder if you'll seem uptight, embarrass your son, worry about making rules for other people's children... "The hard truth is that this the adult behavior that makes children believe adults support bullies or are powerless to stop them." Example and quote from a great book, Masterminds and Wingman, by Rosalind Wiseman.

Thought experiment for parents: Imagine you are driving kids home from practice and your son's friend, Josh, says to another, "Mike, you are so re****ed in basketball! Do you have any idea how gay you looked shooting today?" How do you, the parent, respond?" You might get tense, and wonder if you'll seem uptight, embarrass your son, worry about making rules for other people's children... "The hard truth is that this the adult behavior that makes children believe adults support bullies or are powerless to stop them." Example and quote from a great book, Masterminds and Wingman, by Rosalind Wiseman.

06/02/2021

Always

Always

05/29/2021

This book.
Best book ever.
So powerful.
So important.
I give it 10 stars.
Wow. #starfish #authorlisafipps #allbodiesmatter #bodypositivity

This book.
Best book ever.
So powerful.
So important.
I give it 10 stars.
Wow. #starfish #authorlisafipps #allbodiesmatter #bodypositivity

05/18/2021

Are your kids using Snapchat?

Check, check, and check again!

Snapchat has installed a secret picture vault in their application so that kids can hide pictures from parents. Boys will usually keep pictures of multiple female classmates in this vault and girls will usually have some of their panty/nude/sexy pictures in this vault ready to send to anyone they feel needs them. I know, who needs these pictures?

As parents, it's a good idea to find out what your kids are keeping and hiding from you in their secret picture vault. You might be saving a life (your own child or someone else's child) by checking this vault. So I have included some step by step instructions on how to get to the vault.

How to check your kids Snapchat “secret” picture vault.

1) Open the Snapchat application on their phone (yellow icon with white ghost). This will open up the main picture taking page, you should see live image ready to take a photo.

2) Below the “take a picture button” (large circle at bottom of the screen) there is a small icon that looks like two playing cards. Press the two playing cards icon. You will be in their memories photos which are some of the photos they have taken with Snapchat camera.

3) Along the top of the photos you should see some labels “SNAPS, CAMERA ROLL, MEMORIES, and MY EYES ONLY”. Press the MY EYES ONLY BUTTON

4) If you don't see MY EYES ONLY this means the MY EYES ONLY is not being used and you need not worry yet. If the phone pops up with a PIN entry keypad you will need the code from your kid. Standard answers when you ask your kid for their PIN is that they forgot or they never set it up. (see parental pin extraction techniques for further help if needed).

5) Once past the secret pin you will see the photos your kids usually don’t want you to see. Understand you are still not seeing the private disappearing snap chat messages they send back and forth to each other.

Happy parenting,

Deputy Gomez

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Yup.
So many Google Classrooms... #thenoveltyhaswornoff #dontlovevirtualschool #schoolcounselorlife
What?!
Yes.
Clear The Air
Want to see what electives are available to your student in 7th grade next year?

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