The Sensual Essentials

There’s a reason why we use the expression “I feel moved.”

When we feel, it needs to be expressed
Through the body.
Through the voice.
Through the breath.

So let yourself be moved.

‎PS I Love Me: Episode 74: Growing up q***r in a fundamentalist Christian family - with indigenous somatic s*x educator Sherika Tenaya on Apple Podcasts

Had a pretty stellar interview on the podcast PS I Love Me, hosted by the indelible Gina Swire.

My origin story.
My s*xual empowerment.
My tribe.

Creator gave me a strong voice. Guess I oughta use it.

‎PS I Love Me: Episode 74: Growing up q***r in a fundamentalist Christian family - with indigenous somatic s*x educator Sherika Tenaya on Apple Podcasts ‎Show PS I Love Me, Ep Episode 74: Growing up q***r in a fundamentalist Christian family - with indigenous somatic s*x educator Sherika Tenaya - Nov 8, 2022

I think the thing we need to remember
is that consent
is a PRACTICE.

We can all be better.

We will make mistakes
along the way.

Can we hold each other
in those mistakes?

Can we be accountable
and,
receiving of that accountability?

We are messy beings.

And yet,
We need each other
To get out of the mess.

It occurs to me that many of us are just looking to be fully SEEN by another human.

Thats why we eschew s*x. We are taught that s*x is for beautiful, perfectly fit people who rhythmically slap bodies together for roughly 10 minutes until they can grunt out a few climactic pleasure waves.

No.

S*x, and its close cousin intimacy, are about connection. First, connection with the self as a whole being deserving of care, dignity, pleasure and understanding. Then, connection with other.

With other, allowing ourselves to be SEEN in all of our raw vulnerability.

Experiencing SEEING and BEING SEEN through the balanced giving and receiving of presence, pleasure and attunement with the other.

Being SEEN, or witnessed and held, in the wild passion of our uncontrolled emotions, the grief of our sorrows laid bare and naked, the broken pieces of ourselves we shield from the world.

To be SEEN and to SEE others is where the sacred, the intimate, and the s*xual all collide.

It is for all bodies.
All genders.
All beings.

May we all know this gift. May we all seek it.

Hu Man

Dance with me…

https://open.spotify.com/track/2ZfVt2skRwfEq1Wb3D7GmP?si=6YUQe9XUTdmWiix0goYE3w

Hu Man Greentea Peng · Song · 2020

To- Do’s

What do you think of when you ponder the word "erotic" or "eros"? What are your associations with this word?

This has come up a few times with my clients who really struggle with the of Mindful Erotic Practice, a sort of intentional [email protected] practice.

I submit to you, dear reader, a new definition of the term I created: erotic means anything that engenders full awareness and conscious receiving with a deliberate orientation towards what’s pleasurable for you.

What happens in your body when you read that definition? Does that change the way you approach yourself erotically? The way you approach your erotic time with your partner?

In this definition, rest could be erotic. How hot is that?

Accepting the fact that sometimes I just can’t do all the things. This week has been an immense message to continually slow down, to step back, and to be mindful.

I’ve tweaked my back, I’ve lagged on important communication, I’ve created not a damn thing. Text responses feel like major achievements and some s**t has fallen through the cracks.

I reflect, therefore, on this culture we’ve been bred in, this constant “grind” of unending productivity, of churning out content, of splashing ourselves across social media so folks remember we exist and have gifts.

Its just too much right now, for me.

I accept what feels like failure. I embrace my time to slow down, to grind to a fu***ng halt, to make others wait on me - much as they may chafe at it.

I fu***ng chafe at it. But I am a powerful receptive. I wax and wane like the moon. I apply myself and then withdraw completely. My body ripens and then withers again and again.

I dont fit this mold of capitalistic go go go doingness.

I don’t and I won’t feel like I’m lesser for it. Rest is my holy prayer now. Ease is my mantra. Slowness is my super power and I won’t apologize for that.

Hey friends! I wrote a pretty rad  tastic blog all about s*x magick!

Theres a pretty fascinating piece in there about the history of s*x magick that may tickle your fancy! Just sayin’.

Would love to know what y’all think!

"Wholistic" Pleasure & Parenting – Back to the Body

An important - and HIGHLY relevant - conversation that needs to be had with people walking the walk and talking the talk.

As someone who doesn't have kids (and may never choose that path), this isn't my personal wheelhouse. However, the incredible community of SSE's that I am a part of, DO carry this wisdom.

Please take some time to reframe how you teach your children about s*x. This is where deconstructing r**e culture begins. This is how we heal to the point where people like me will be worked out of a job.

It starts with the new generation and with parents who are willing to step out of the fog of societal norms and take back our future to something better and brighter than before.

https://back-to-the-body.myshopify.com/products/holistic-pleasure-parenting?fbclid=IwAR3fw8VqBcqt1b6ao4IGoG9Fwq-NlU1aoPIfPMYM4DF2fNbh2Yq97GK6nn0

"Wholistic" Pleasure & Parenting – Back to the Body Join Certified S*x Educators and parents, Casia Sobolewski & Cosmo Meens, into a conversation on raising pleasure-positive kiddos. Using the terminology "Wholistic Pleasure" as a framework to re-imagine pleasure as a nourishing and grounding resource for ourselves and our children, a part of the...

Women Are Calling Out ‘Medical Gaslighting’

Lets talk about it. Lets demand better.

Women Are Calling Out ‘Medical Gaslighting’ Studies show female patients and people of color are more likely to have their symptoms dismissed by medical providers. Experts say: Keep asking questions.

Hello dear ones,

This is a warm invitation to join a community I am creating called S*x Positive Boise. This community is being organized through Meet Up currently by me. It is volunteer-ran and my intention is to create an ongoing space for people to gather together under common values and find a sense of belonging and connection. I believe that it is through community that we can find our greatest comfort, power and growth.

It is also my intention to foment a community of as much diversity as possible. People of different age groups, s*xual orientations, races, gender identities, spiritual backgrounds, and relationship styles are all welcomed.

Not everyone is included automatically. People are required to fill out a short questionnaire around their intentions for joining the group and I personally go through and accept or decline those invitations, keeping a mind to making sure there is balance within the community and that diversity is represented.

So...what is s*x positivity exactly?

S*x positivity is a philosophy that regards all consensual expressions of s*xuality as healthy. S*x positivity encourages s*xual pleasure, places an emphasis on informed consent, and advocates for s*x education and risk-awareness. S*x positivity makes no moral distinctions among types of s*xual expression, orientation, or identification. S*x positivity affirms all of the ways between consenting adults s*x can be pleasurable, intimate, nurturing, and adventurous.

And what's this group about?

S*x Positive Boise (SPB) is a group for adults interested in developing and practicing healthy s*xuality. SPB offers education, resources, and community to those who have a personal or professional desire to learn and experience more about the diversity of human s*xuality. We work to create and maintain a safer environment for members to learn about s*x positivity and explore their own relationship to it.

If any of this resonates with you, check out the Meetup group:

https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-exqveokv/

Really hope to see some familiar faces at these events! And, if you are someone who is interested in facilitating or helping me facilitate, you would be doubly DOUBLY welcomed.

Hello my dear ones,

Just dropping you a brief note to let you know we are hosting another rendition of Paint Your Petals on Sunday May 15, 2022 at Gem State Center for the Arts.

We had such an amazing time with the last crew, that we are excited to hold this space again. Please click on the following link to see images from past PYP events, as well as a review a previous attendee wrote of her experience: http://thesensualessentials.com/paint-your-petals-2021/

Also, I updated the event description since some people had the mistaken impression we were going to put paint on our ge****ls and stick them to paper - this is NOT AT ALL what we're doing. **facepalm**

Please share this to anyone you think would benefit from this one-of-a-kind experience.

Really hope to see some of you there!

Amazing new offerings here in the Treasure Valley.

Women owned businesses and practitioners changing the game on wellness, approached mindfully and ethically!

Conscious Contraception Workshop | Samantha Zipporah

Heads up!

A super useful and informative workshop for anyone with a menstrual cycle who wants to learn how to “hack” that cycle to be in control of your baby making capability, taught by Samantha Zipporah online through ZOOM.

👉🏽👉🏽As we fight for bodily autonomy, this information can make the difference in having to deal with unwanted pregnancy! 👈🏽👈🏽

When: Sunday April 3 from 12 - 3pm

In the words of my dear one, India Ashley Allen, who is helping promote Samantha’s work:

“In abort!0n advocacy I think there is another part of the conversation that we aren't having- which is that the more understanding we have of our own cycles & bodies, the more capable we are as individuals to manage our fertility without the medical industry getting involved in the first place.

If every woman had a solid understanding of her cycle and approached s*x with intention and awareness, the need for ab0rti0ns in the first place would go down.

I am trying to spread the word about my mentor & friend Samantha Zipporah's Conscious Contraception Workshop. It is an introduction & overview of her full self-strudy course, the Conscious Contraception Skillshare. This course deeply impacted me and really changed the relationship I have with my cycle & my fertility.”

Check out the deets here:

https://www.samanthazipporah.com/events/conscious-contraception

Conscious Contraception Workshop | Samantha Zipporah Demystify, demedicalize & deindustrialize your contraception! Learn how to track your fertility signals & make meaning of them! Cultivate greater power, pleasure, & your own unique praxis while effectively avoiding pregnancy.

Some amazing s3x positive clothing designed by my friend and colleague, Noah Klöze.

Please support this thoughtfully made concept created by a member of the non-binary community who has done incredible work to support all people across the gender spectrum.

This is the degree of organization we need to be doing to take back our beautiful home state.

We can effect change. We must learn from the people who are making Idaho more oppressive.

Come together. Support each other. Raise hell. Smash the patriarchy.

Vaginas, Vulvas, and Pussy’s Oh My! - Sacred & Shameless

A review of the workshop I recently held called “Paint Your Petals” by one of the women who attended:

WHAT I LEARNED FROM ATTENDING A SEXUAL EMBODIMENT WORKSHOP

When I was initially invited to a “Paint Your Petals Workshop”, a p***y empowerment event run by local le****ns and feminist enthusiasts, I shuddered. The event description boasted an experience that was “part somatic s*xual embodiment workshop, part art class, part sacred ritual, part s*xy art exhibit and part pleasure activism.” While the rest of it sounded interesting, the idea of painting my ge***alia was downright cringe-worthy. I imagined a group of braless women painting in p***y hats, their armpit hair waving in the wind as they lovingly sang praises to their vaginas. I couldn’t imagine myself among them, let alone imagine looking at an actual photo of my nether regions and then attempting to paint it on a canvas.

THE SEED OF SHAME

The shame of my ge***alia runs deep. As a little girl, I was often fascinated with s*x, kissing, and body parts. I found mine fairly early on, and was caught soon after. I was told not to touch myself, that it was dirty and wrong, and the seed of shame was planted. I learned to hide my s*xuality and, like most people, masturbated in secret, hiding it from my partners well into my adult years.

As I’ve opened up and explored more of my s*xuality over time, peeling back the layers of resistance and shame, I’ve gotten more comfortable with it. I know what turns me on, what my kinks are, what my erogenous zones are, and have explored playing with ta**ra and s*xual energy. But, even after many years of working to remove the shame, it still had roots in my body and mind.

So naturally, when a few of my friends encouraged me to go to this workshop, I was resistant. ‘Why should I?’ I thought to myself, ‘I don’t want to look at that thing!’ I’ve always thought it looked weird, and I was sure that it was just ugly and gross like all the rest of them. I’d never thought ANY ge****ls were beautiful, to be honest. They were just functional. The idea of looking at my v***a in front of other people was enough to make me run and hide in my closet. That’s when I realized that my fear was trying to run the show.

Read the rest of my writing on my official Sacred & Shameless Blog!
http://box2110.temp.domains/~sacrefa9/?p=208&fbclid=IwAR1qyv8mjAJbBsKcbIQsMQR_2jzY6f9P4YPiYOrYgEoO70I7F7p4nnEqPhM

Vaginas, Vulvas, and Pussy’s Oh My! - Sacred & Shameless When I was initially invited to a “Paint Your Petals Workshop”, a p***y empowerment event run by local le****ns and feminist enthusiasts, I shuddered. The event description boasted an experience that was "part somatic s*xual embodiment workshop, part art class, part sacred ritual, part s*xy art ...

What an incredible experience today’s Paint Your Petals workshop turned out to be!

So proud of all the brave women who showed up for themselves today.

I am honored and humbled by the incredible tenacity we as women hold in reclaiming our s.exuality and stepping up to celebrate ALL parts of our bodies and ourselves.

If you couldn’t make it for today’s workshop, keep your eyes peeled for our next offering.

Our artwork will be displayed at Gem State Center for the Arts for the week. Stop in and check it out!

*xualempowerment

*xeducation
*xPositiveBoise

An amazing resource for all people in the Treasure Valley! So many health issues we have that we think are unrelated can all come back to wonky hormones.

Conventional medicine is so incredibly s*xist that its up to us to share resources on womens health.

So glad to see this new offering!

Welcome to all our new followers!

I am Jill Gustafson, a board certified nurse-midwife who specializes in women’s s*xual health, hormones, and menopause. I am also the creator and owner of Quantum Women’s Health, my own women’s health private practice located on the Boise Bench. Quantum offers women of the Treasure Valley a dedicated space to diagnose and treat hormonal, pelvic, and s*xual issues at all stages of life. We blend the midwifery model of care - time, personalized attention, and women’s wisdom - with the most up-to-date science in women’s s*xual and reproductive health.

After years of attending births and providing gynecology services as a nurse-midwife, I began to notice that a lot of my patients who were NOT having babies were needing much more specialized support in other areas, namely hormone shifts in their 30s and 40s, menopause, pelvic pain, and s*xual problems. These areas of women’s health are treated as “specialty” or “niche”, but they are 100% fundamental to our overall health - and they don’t often get the attention that they deserve in medical training or practice. When was the last time your health care provider asked you about your s*x life? Or took the time to educate you about what to expect with menopause? Or actually listened to all of the things you have already done to try to improve your chronic pelvic pain? Compared to prenatal care and education, there is a huge gap in support and resources for women in other stages of life. Quantum Women’s Health was created to fill that gap! Women need time, compassion, skill, and a multi-disciplinary approach to their pelvic and s*xual health, at all ages.

At Quantum Women’s Health, we offer women a concierge style of care that was born in the field of midwifery - hour-long appointments, comprehensive history-taking, thorough diagnostics, evidence-based treatments, and patient-centered education.

DM, email, or call us to inquire about our wide range of services, or to become a patient!
☎️ (208) 510-0261
💻 [email protected]
Website (coming soon) www.quantumwomenshealth.com

*xualdysfunction *xualhealth

Just a friendly reminder that, while you've no doubt read countless books and listened to countless podcasts about self-love, its one thing to intellectualize the concept....and a whoooooooole other thing to physically embody the act.

If you notice the notion of making art from your ge****ls strikes you as repellent, scary, embarrassing or indecent....then perhaps this is a sign that there is some work here to be done. Perhaps this playful and profound container can help you examine that resistance with love and compassion for yourself...and your fellow workshop goers.

If there is ANY spark in you of intrigue or interest at the idea of this workshop, I invite you to follow that inner whisper. You have nothing to lose and only greater self-love, appreciative acceptance of your body in ALL of its parts, and solidarity with other women to gain.

Step forward, brave soul. If we are the ones we've been waiting for.....then why are we still waiting? Wait no more.

A friendly reminder

How Herpes Became a S*xual Boogeyman

Please read this.

How Herpes Became a S*xual Boogeyman The real story of its journey from minor skin condition to “s*xual leprosy.”

The Dolphin Cl****is Is Full of Surprises, Scientists Discover

A fun article and also a great example about how misinformation about human female s*xual anatomy continues to circulate.

To say the cl****is and of a human is pea sized and then vaguely refer to “other structures underneath” is confusing.

This is why my Anatomy of Arousal workshop was so important. We’re need to know our own anatomy!

Anyway, dolphins ma********ng is still amazing and makes this well worth the read.

https://www.sciencealert.com/behold-the-dolphin-cl****is-in-all-its-engorged-glory/amp?fbclid=IwAR160J43i_2ZHOM8nRRjquNncF6ks6rMh3oOcfRGu2qbL3x0wxUOaBAnEbk

The Dolphin Cl****is Is Full of Surprises, Scientists Discover The bottlenose dolphin (Tersiops truncatus) appears to have a very large and well-developed cl****is, potentially better placed for co**al pleasure than the cl****is of humans, according to new research.

IMPORTANT WORKSHOP UPDATE:

I am changing the time of my workshop: now it will be 6 - 9:30pm. If you shared my workshop info before, please share the updated time investment.

>>>> The offering for v***a owners is halfway full. No sign ups yet for the one with p***s owners and for folks on the non-binary gender galaxy spectrum.

I plan to post a few flyers over the weekend, which will surely garner more interest, so if you're feeling a calling to this work but haven't taken the plunge - now might be your moment. ;)

“You can have casual s*x. You dont have to take your casual s*x casually.”

Embrace Your Ge****ls: A Workshop Series for Post-Op Trans Men

An amazing online workshop for trans men that is being facilitated by some amazing individuals. Please share to anyone who may be interested.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/embrace-your-ge****ls-a-workshop-series-for-post-op-trans-men-tickets-224844083707?fbclid=IwAR0SejlDD8Hh_NX3K4n8t8TgwkwyZfrJkQ6vVSRRRom0LALV8GnQBkrkJr8

Embrace Your Ge****ls: A Workshop Series for Post-Op Trans Men A virtual workshop series specifically created for trans men; holding space in community to explore embodied grief, consent, and pleasure.

Pleased to be offering an in-person event the likes of which you probably haven't seen.

Titled "A Lesbian's Guide to a Woman's Anatomy of Arousal", this playful, vulnerable and highly educational offering is separated into two different classes.

Please scan the QR code with your camera to read more details about the workshop and how to sign up.

Normalize grief in s*xual response.

Comes up quite often and is just as important of a release as or**sm.

Sometimes one has to come before the other.

If this sounds familiar to you, then I implore you to let yourself feel all the things: the good, the sad, the frustration, the sweetness.

Its all a part of your journey. 💛

May all beings know peace…in their bodies.

May all beings know love…for themselves.

May all beings be nourished…from within.

When a licensed SE therapist you’ve never met refers a client to you…based on the work you’ve done with a mutual client.

I may be a student and quite young in this field, but apparently I’m doing something right.

Doing my very first ge***al mapping session on a woman today! Very excited to offer this incredibly slow, incredibly intentional and healing practice.

If only all women were touched this way by their partners.

The purpose of this exercise is not to arouse pleasure, but rather, to go through all the segments of one's ge****ls with very light touch while the client breathes, sensing their sensations. In this way, the client can form an internal "map" of the different feels available in parts of their ge****ls that they may have never isolated before.

This practice clues us into where our "hot spots" are, where are dead or numbed zones are, and allows the client to bravely explore themselves by teaching them communication skills around directing touch, particularly for internal spaces. (All touch is guided by the client.)

At the same time, we learn about our anatomy - not just on an intellectual level, but also the physical sensations within the tissues, the emotional responses different points may hold, as well as the visual acquaintance with the way our ge****ls look.