The Hat Off His Head

N’Djamena, Chad
5 March 2023

We wanted to visit Chad and did not want to experience it on a tour. This meant we needed a letter of invitation from a Chadian national in Chad in order to get the visa. It was either that or fly back to the US to visit the Chadian embassy there (far too expensive as we were in the Middle East and heading to Africa next). Mark had the idea to reach out to people through a cultural exchange website in order to find a local Chadian sponsor who would write us the necessary invitation letter for the visa. He connected with Adra, who kindly agreed to help us. Adra went above and beyond for us before and during our trip to Chad.

We were trying to get the Chadian visa while we were in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. We went to the consulate. At first it seemed impossible and I was ready to give up, but Mark persevered. The first difficult requirement was they needed a letter from the US embassy in Saudi Arabia stating we had permission to travel to Chad. Mark had already contacted the US embassy who refused to issue such a letter on the principle that US citizens are free to travel to (almost) anywhere they would like to go. In addition, the Chadian consulate in Jeddah kept changing the requirements. On our first visit they said our friend in Chad just had to write a letter inviting us and have it notarized. So Adra did that. When we went back with that the following day (20 minute taxi ride each way), they said actually the letter needed to be prepared/typed in an official format and a special government notary had to notarize it. This cost significant money to do and Adra agreed to do this and pay for it out of pocket. After Adra obtained the letter and had it notarized by the official notary, the Chadian consul general’s assistant then told us (on our third day visiting the consulate in Jeddah) that the Minister of Foreign Affairs in N'Djamena had to sign the notarized invitation letter. That one was especially tricky.

When Adra went to the office in N’Djamena they said he had to come back the next week. At that point our flight from Saudi Arabia to Chad was departing in four days (we had to purchase our flights in order to apply for the visa). Waiting another week would have meant losing our tickets, making the visa moot. Adra understood this and would not take no for an answer. He did not give up and eventually convinced them to have the minister sign the letter that day! He then emailed us the letter, which we promptly printed in Jeddah and presented to the officials at the consulate in Jeddah.

It was incredibly generous of Adra to commit so much time, energy, and even his own money to this endeavor for people he had never even met. While of course we agreed to pay back all the fees associated with the process there was no guarantee that we would even make it to Chad!

Finally, after five visits to the consulate (over 40 minutes in the taxi every round trip) and some more weird stuff (like driving with the assistant and his child from the consulate to the consul general’s home, waiting in the car as a babysitter with the 4 year old child as the assistant went into the home to get his signature on the visa sticker, then watching the assistant stamp and place the visas using his steering wheel for a table), we got our visas. Unfortunately all the back and forth ate into our time in Chad, so it was a short visit.

When we arrived in N’Djamena, Chad, Adra picked us up at the airport. He helped us buy a mosquito net and some other items from a local market and delivered us to our AirBNB. Another day he drove us to Gaoui village along very difficult dirt roads, where we visited a cultural museum and observed traditional architecture and pottery. Despite living close by he had never visited, and we all enjoyed it.

Adra also helped us find the wild hippopotamuses that live in the capital city of N’Djamena. This was a priority for me because I love hippos and it’s unusual to find them living in a city. He even sent us photos of a rogue hippo who, the day after we left, decided to enter downtown and was blocking traffic into a local bank!

Adra made our short trip to Chad possible. Because of his tremendous generosity and trust and kindness he made our experience in Chad very special. He enjoys traveling too, so hopefully we can return the favor by hosting and showing him around in the United States someday. Plus we hope to meet up with him again on our next trip to Chad! There’s a lot more to see.

Thanks again, Adra!

Funafuti, Tuvalu. 17 June 2023

We were walking back to our hotel after a swim in the ocean when we happened upon a busy pool hall. Mark asked one of the men there what was going on. Ronny explained it was a tournament for boys with one younger and one older boy per team. The winners had just been crowned, and won two tubs of breakfast crackers! Ronny and Mark got to chatting. Ronny, who is originally from Vanuatu but now a dual-citizen, invited us to share a bowl of kava with him. Unfortunately we couldn’t that night. Our hotel only turned the water on for one hour in the morning and one hour at night. We were desperate for showers after swimming and quickly running out of time! So instead Ronny invited us over for dinner the next night.

Ronny shuttled us to the house on the back of his motorbike, since we didn’t know where he lived. In Tuvalu only two people are allowed on a motorbike at a time so we took turns. It was a wonderful experience and quite the dinner! Linda cooked, and Simmi also joined. There was spaghetti with vegetables, dal, rice, and eggs in taro leaves. They even surprised us with ice cream cones for dessert! We had a great conversation and watched some rugby with the group.

A couple days later Ronny also hooked us up with the kava. We joined him and a group of his friends from Fiji. It was my first time trying kava. They showed us the traditional way to do it.

Thanks to Ronny and friends for really enhancing our visit to Tuvalu! Hope to see you again.

Bali, Indonesia
December 2017

​We were nearing the end of our 9 month long Round the World trip, and heading from Cambodia to Indonesia to spend the weeks leading up to Christmas in Bali. We fortuitously got upgraded to an exit row that we shared with a nice Canadian ex-pat who now lived with her English husband in Bali. We chatted a bit on the flight and once we deplaned and headed to baggage claim, she handed me a note with her name and email on it. She told us that we were welcome to stay in their villa for a few days if we would like. We thanked her profusely but were also unsure about it. We were still technically strangers and she lived in an area we weren't planning on visiting. After some thought, we figured it was worth a try, so I emailed her and told her we would love to come stay with her and her husband if the invitation was still open. She sent a driver to come pick us up the next day. We ended up staying with them for 4 amazing days where they taught us about Balinese culture, went out for dinner and drinks, swam in their pool, washed our clothes, and were able to spend part of the Christmas season feeling like we were surrounded by family. We're so glad we ultimately decided to go.

-Ashly and Carlos
Happy Nomad Couple
Splice Clothing

Big Pine Key, Florida, USA
5 April 2022
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We started experiencing car trouble on a drive from Key West to Miami. This would not be a fun place to break down, because there are long stretches of highway over the ocean. It is the Overseas Highway, after all. We called around to various repair shops, but most were booked out for weeks. We stopped for lunch at a place called Good Food Conspiracy, and tried to figure out what to do. We asked the owner if she had any recommendations for mechanics. She ended up texting a friend who owned a garage, explained our situation, and asked him to call us. He called right away and talked us through some options. If what he suggested didn’t work, he would find time to take a look at our car. Luckily, after doing what he suggested we were able to make it to Miami. We found a place there to get the car fixed the next day. Thanks to both of them!

Meridian, Mississippi, USA
9 December 2021

Because of the COVID pandemic, our travels have changed and we did not travel internationally for quite a while. However, there are plenty of different cultures within the United States. On a train trip from Dallas to Philadelphia for Christmas, we stopped in Meridian, MS. The evening of our arrival there was a yoga event at Merrehope, a historic mansion now open for tours. It was also during their annual Christmas tree display, so we decided to check it out. It was a lot of fun! After the event we tried unsuccessfully to use a rideshare app to get to our hotel. Noticing our struggles, multiple people offered to drive us–including a security guard and one of the event organizers. Eventually we accepted a ride from the event organizer because the security guard was still working. She not only drove us to our hotel, but gave us a tour of the city. She brought us inside the Temple Theater, and offered to take us out for drinks.

India September 2017

We were traveling by overnight train from Varanasi to Kolkata. According to the train schedule, the journey should have taken about 12 hours. We ate dinner before boarding and planned to eat our next meal in the morning right after disembarking from the train. Due to an unforeseen delay, we were at a standstill on the tracks for hours and ended up 5 hours behind schedule, making the whole journey now 17 hours instead of 12. We were in a sleeper car with 4 beds. We had the bunk beds on one side and on the other side was an older Indian gentleman. When he noticed us talking in the morning about how hungry we were and how we didn't bring any food, he struck up a conversation with us. Turns out, he is an Indian psychology professor who has taught at Universities in both India and the U.S. before. He told us he was on a trip with his students right now who were in a different part of the train. One of them came to check in with the professor and he sent her to to go bring us sandwiches from their class's collection of food (I guess they were more accustomed to delays than we were). We were so thankful for those sandwiches - they were enough to hold us over until we finally made it to Kolkata. And not only did he give us sandwiches, he also gave us free psychology evaluations too. It's one of my favorite travel memories ever. -Ashly and Carlos

Switzerland
​September 2011

While living in Paris in 2011 I decided to explore Europe’s most famous high mountain trek entitled “the Haute route”. It passes from France to Switzerland (Chamonix to Zermatt), from the famous Mount Blanc to the arguably more famous Matterhorn. The route crosses the greatest collection of 13,000ft plus mountains in the Alps. The going had been amazing but also brutal and I had been caught in some early fall snow storms on multiple occasions… and the snow just kept on coming in September! On some high mountain passes the only markers were blazed flat stones (unstacked) and in snow storm conditions it was a very trying and stressful time.
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Needless to say when, mid-trip, I finally came down from a snowy pass with the hopes of sleeping in a mountain hut, warming up, doing laundry, and enjoying a warm meal, I was crushed to learn that the hut had just closed for the season. I spotted a day hiker coming back to his vehicle and explained my situation. He offered to drive me 5 miles down the mountain to where hotels were open. Upon arriving he negotiated the rate down for me and made sure that I had all that I needed, including the bus schedule for returning to the trailhead the following day. He is a principal reason that I love Switzerland: kind people, a peaceful ambiance, and mind-numbingly astonishing alpine beauty.
-Mark

Davit Gareja, Georgia
27 May 2008
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Years ago while traveling through the former Soviet republic of Georgia I took what was meant to be a day trip away from the capital, Tbilisi. My aim was to explore the eastern-most front of the ancient Christian world and to look out over the leading western edge of the ancient Islamic world (towards modern day Azerbaijan). The site of interest, called Davit Gareja, was a rock-hewn monastery from the 6th century, replete with monastic cells, churches, refectories and living quarters.

​Arriving by bus into a small rural village I looked for a taxi to take me the remaining miles to the site. The journey down the bumpy dirt road with my driver was wonderful. We exchanged stories about his life in Georgia and about my time traveling around Caucasia. He waited for me to tour the site and then, on the drive back to the highway where I was meant to catch another bus back to Tbilisi, he invited me to stay the night with him and get to know his friends. As was my way I wholeheartedly agreed.

That night was a fascinating insight into small village life and into the hearts and generosity of lovely people. They were all so pleased to have me and to share and receive stories and food. The next day I made my way back to my guesthouse in Tbilisi and was nearly evicted. The landlady was incensed because I hadn’t come home the previous evening and accused me of committing unsavory acts at overnight bars and brothels. After many tense moments of pleading and explaining, she finally allowed me back into my room and to complete my stay with her.
-Mark

Maseru, Lesotho
May 2012

Negotiating downtown Johannesburg and its bus stations without getting mugged had been a very harrowing experience, and I was just glad to be on a van-bus out of the capital and heading to Lesotho, the cool mountain-nation completely encircled by South Africa. On that voyage I met a young woman who lived in Johannesburg but was on her way to visit her brother in Maseru, Lesotho, where he ran the café at the French embassy. She explained that they were a family from what is now Eritrea who had migrated to southern Africa. In her childhood Eritrea was still a part of Ethiopia and her father had a prominent governmental role and was a very successful businessman. However, during Eritrea’s independence struggle he backed the wrong side and was punished by having his assets stripped and being banished from the country. During our drive I shared stories of my travels through Ethiopia and we made fast friends as I noticed a malaise overcoming me with a persistent headache. As we crossed the border she called her brother and offered to have me stay with him while I was in Maseru.

He agreed, though by the time we arrived I was starting to feel very fatigued. Her gracious brother set me up on a mattress in the living room and took me for meals at his café and another small restaurant he co-owned. That night I became quite ill with fever, chills, weakness, vomiting, and headache, and felt terrible imposing on his hospitality. However, as weak as I had become, I realized that I would never be able to take care of myself. Not missing a beat, he took me to a good private clinic that suspected malaria (given that I had been in Burkina Faso 10 days prior) and sent off a malaria test across the border to South Africa. As we awaited the test results for 24 hours he remained vigilant in his care for me, coming home during his lunch breaks to check on me, and bringing food, drink, and medications. When we received my diagnosis confirming malaria, he then drove me to the pharmacy and helped me to get the most efficacious malarial medication (the doctor had prescribed the wrong treatment owing to the fact that she had had no experience with malaria because Lesotho had virtually none). I ended up staying in his home for an entire week as I slowly recovered from a rather severe malarial infection. Incredibly, his care and kindness toward me allowed me to overcome my concern for imposing on his hospitality. He helped me feel welcomed, as though I was not a burden to him.

As I recovered and was able to walk and eat he took me to his café again where now I felt like an honored guest. He even refused to accept my payment. I am forever grateful to him not only for the great care he took of me, but also for teaching me about the sacred honor and duty of nurturing those in need and about selflessness as a highest human quality.
-Mark

Algiers, Algeria
4 January 2018

We were walking around the casbah, or ancient city center, when we decided we wanted a snack. We went into a cafe, and didn’t recognize one of the items. We noticed a man eating it, so we asked what it was. He tried to explain, but then he gave us bites off of his! We liked it, so we got our own. Turns out it was garantita, a savory flan made of chickpea flour, which is known by many other names depending on the region.

Philadelphia, PA, USA
December 2018
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We were waiting for the subway headed to a Flyers game with my dad. He noticed tourists who were confused about which direction to go, so he showed them the way. It was a mother and son from New Zealand who were also going to the game! When there was a problem with the subway car, everyone had to get off a stop early and walk the rest of the way. We found them and made sure they didn’t get lost.

Syria
​November 2007
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I fell in love with Syria long before the civil war. On my first trip I was traveling with a friend through the Orontes Valley in search of the fabled “Beehive Houses” of Sarouj (whitewashed conical mud-brick structures of one chamber, accessed by a single, small opening). Leaving the nearest city, Hama, with its famous massive ancient norias (4-5 story tall waterwheels in the center of the city), we knew it would be a tough day of traveling as there was no public transport to this remote desert location. As we had bussed to the closest town we could get to, we started trying to thumb a ride and were picked up almost immediately by two wonderfully kind men in their ramshackle truck. Our plan had been to first visit Qasr ibn Wardan (6th century Byzantine military base/palace and church) and then make our way to the beehive houses. Although we had asked to be dropped at an intersection with the idea of walking up to see Qasr ibn Wardan, they would have none of it. Instead, although they had never been there themselves, they insisted on driving us down the side road, up the hill to the site and dropping us at the entrance. Upon arrival they opened their doors, ran around the truck to open the doors for us, shook our hands and even hugged us. They were clearly elated to have the opportunity to meet us (the first North Americans they had ever met) and were so proud and pleased to be able to share their homeland with us. I remember feeling so safe and at home despite being in such a far off place. I began to realize that this type of loving kindness, while initially so shocking, was actually the norm in Syria. People made it their business to take care of travelers and in so doing led me to fall in love with that amazing land.
-Mark