United India International School, Riyadh

💎How To Raise And Discipline Boys💎

By Ibn al-Jawzi Rahimahullah
(d. 597H)

THE best of discipline is that which is done at a young age. If a child is left to his own characteristics and he or she matures into an adult possessing those characteristics, changing the person would be difficult.

A poet said:

“If you straighten the branches they will straighten up,

But wood does not soften if you amend it.

Discipline benefits children gradually,

But it will not benefit those who have aged.”

Being perseverant in discipline is important, particularly with regard to children, as it benefits them and doing good becomes a habit.

A poet said:

"Do not neglect disciplining a child,

Even if he complains of the pain of exhaustion."

Know that a doctor considers the age of the patient, as well as his place and time before prescribing the medicine best suited for him.

Likewise, discipline should be suited to each child, and signs of the success or failure of a child can be noticed from a very early age.

A man once told Sufyan al-Thawri, "We hit our children if they do not pray." Sufyan told him, “Rather, you should encourage them and tell them about the reward.”

Zubayd al-Yafi used to tell young boys, "Whoever prays will have five walnuts."

Ibrahim ibn Adham said, “O son! Seek knowledge of hadith. I will give you one dirham for every hadith that you hear.” On account of this, the boy started to seek the knowledge of hadith.

Taking Care Of The Trust

A Father (and mother) should know that his child is a trust placed in his hands. He should make sure the child avoids bad company from a young age. He should teach him to do good, for a child's heart is empty and accepts anything that is given to it.

The father (and mother) should also instil the love of hayaa (modesty / shyness) and generosity. He should tell him stories of the righteous, and keep him away from 'love poetry' because it is a seed of corruption.

However, he should not prevent poems about generosity or courage, so the child can exalt these characteristics and becomes courageous.

If the child makes a mistake, the father should overlook. His teacher should expose his secrets and mistakes, but his father should only reprimand the child in private.

His father (and mother) should prohibit excessive eating and excessive sleeping. Instead make the child accustomed to simple food and minimal sleep, for it is healthier. He should be treated with physical exercises such as walking and disciplined in proper manners by being prohibited from turning his back to people and from sneezing and yawning in their presence.

If he chooses to exhibit an ill characteristic, he should be deterred from it excessively before it becomes a habit. It is fine to discipline him if leniency is of no use.

Luqman told his son, “O son! Discipling the son acts as a fertiliser for sowing seeds.”

If the boy is aggressive, his father (and mother) should be lenient with him.

Ibn ‘Abbas said, “The aggressiveness of a boy is an increase in his intelligence.”

The Future Of Your Child

Wise people used to say:

“Your son is like your flower the first seven years, and your servant the second seven years. By the time he reaches fourteen, if you have been good to him, then he will be your partner, and if you have bad to him then he will be your enemy.”

A child should not be beaten or offended after he reaches puberty, because he will hope to lose his father in order that he may have his own way.

Whoever reaches twenty years of age and has not become righteous, then his godliness is remote; however, leniency should be practiced with everyone.

– Excerpt from the book 'Disciplining the Soul by Imam Ibn Jawzi. Published and Copyright by Dar as-Sunnah Publishers, Birmingham, UK.

Seeking Allah’s Aid in Raising Children

Importance of good Tarbiyah

Importance of Justice and Equity between our children.

Tarbiyyah (upbringing) of children is among the greatest deeds that do not cease, for every good deed that they learn and act upon the reward is for the one who taught them, and if they go on to teach their children the reward would be for the first teacher.

تربية الأولاد من أعظم الأعمال التي لا تنقطع، فكل عمل صالح تعلموه وعملوا به فالأجر لمن علّمهم ولو علَّموا ذرياتهم لكان الأجر للمعلّم الأول.

Shaikh AtTarefee

Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said:

“Whoever pays no attention to teaching his child that which will benefit him and he leaves him to waste away without care then he is extremely sinful. Most children are corrupted (and led to failure) due to their parents. They pay no attention to them and leave off teaching them the obligations of the religion and the Sunan. So they ruin them whilst they are still children. And they (the children) are not able to benefit themselves and their parents do not benefit them.”

Tuhfatul-Mawdood fī Ahkāmil-Mawlood, p.80

💻 Recorded Webinar:

https://youtu.be/-u9kwMdqhwY

Parenting Lessons from Prophet Ibrahim عليه السلام - Dr. Ibrahim Nuhu We encourage mothers to let the children themselves ask questions to the Sheikh so they develop as future students here: https://t.me/joinchat/kEPboobxPgdmYT...

Today's rapidly changing world exposes us and our children to various fitnah unimaginable a few decades back.

The ease with which our children are exposed is alarming. We cannot help but worry if we’re doing all we can to guide and protect them.

No matter our supervision, at some point our children will have to make their own decision when they are exposed to the very thing we fear.

So how can we best protect them when we aren’t with them?

Our worries come to rest when they are equipped with the knowledge and tools they need to stay away from the fitnah of our times after placing our trust in Allah to protect them.

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

The WAIT IS OVER Alhamdu Lillah!

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Which is the Unrestricted act of deed that is preferred during the ten days of Dhul Hijjah?

A. Salah
B. Hajj
C. Takbeerat
D. Fasting

Coming soon In Sha Allah... Keep an eye out! 👀✨

Alhamdu Lillah! An interactive and educational short session for the students of Al-Furqan Hifdh Program. It was on the importance of the ten days of Dhul Hijjah and how to prepare for them. Do share it with family and friends and multiply your rewards!