Helping you get the most out of your life by removing unhelpful thoughts, feelings or habits and strengthening your belief in your innate fabulousness!
Operating as usual
A few words on confidence
'Confidence comes after you've done something. Not before' - Karen Magid Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapist, Karen Magid, is sharing her story and explains some misconceptions about confidence that can help us all
JANUARY OFFER - one-off breakthrough your limiting belief session.
I hear a lot of people claiming that "rock solid confidence" is what you need - they are usually selling a course on getting rock solid confidence 🤣 and they sell these courses in droves because a lot of people think you need rock solid confidence before you do something.
Actually, confidence comes from discovering something went well AFTER taking the action. Confidence is the expectation based on experience of how something is likely to pan out. It isnt so much something you have, its rather a lack of or reduction in doubts.
Those pioneers in the new world, new terrains or new industries - what is the nature of their confidence?
Its a fallacy that you need to feel ready first. Ready for what exactly? I'm not saying that you shouldnt consider and prepare for different scenarios; pioneers will be prepared for what they can guess might happen or be needed but also they will be prepared to be flexible as they meet the unknown. They forge on, leaning on their capacity to learn and be flexible enough to incorporate and adapt to new information and data as it comes in.
People who ignore the signs that they are going the wrong way because they are sure they must be right will end up further from the prize than those who realised their mistake and turned back earlier.
Think of those pilots in The Bermuda Triangle who ignored their controls because they really believed they were somewhere else and made the view out of the window match their inner map. They assumed the controls HAD to be wrong. They flew further out to sea until they ran out of fuel.
So a rock solid confident (fixed) mindset can be a hindrance unless you get lucky.
It makes sense to me that we should rather rely on our capacity to cope with new situations and the willingness to challenge our beliefs to ensure we are living as close as possible to reality (as opposed to an imagined reality - our worst fears).
The more we do this, the more feedback we will get about our ability to deal with the unknown and our confidence grows. Then the actual details of the unknown need not scare us into inaction.
That is an ongoing process. But it comes with a sense of excitement and adventure and it has to start somewhere.
If you have read this far and want to believe it for yourself BUT still think you might be the exception, that you are somehow lacking in that capacity or if you are painfully aware of how you are 'not good enough,' I have an offer for you.
I'm offering one-off 'breakthrough your limiting belief' sessions in January only for £120 over zoom.
I usually work longer with people but it's amazing how much can be achieved in just one focussed session where we can discover the hidden beliefs that are holding you back and recalibrate and kickstart a life full of possibilities instead of drama.
This is a low investment offer ideal for those new to working with me but is also open to previous clients (as if I'd leave you out! 😃). Please message me if you feel this is the right thing at the right time for you.
Karen Magid Cognitive Hypnotherapy & Coaching Helping you get the most out of your life by removing unhelpful thoughts, feelings or habits and strengthening your belief in your innate fabulousness!
These signs are the way an abuser keeps you trapped in an abusive relationship. Not all abuse is physical, some people can be really shocked when they discover they have actually been abused for years.
Onlookers might wonder why the abused puts up with it. It isnt always obvious to the person in the thick of it. The victims of abuse are not weak or stupid or limited to any one sex or social demographic. They have been conditioned to think that the situation is normal and to doubt their own feelings or opinions.
I have worked with and supported many people in this situation so please feel free call me if you recognise these signs in your life.
This speaks to something I'm also experiencing and perfectly explains how I am able to still laugh and connect when the inevitable hard time is looming. Its looming for us all but perhaps on a different timescale. Trevor Silvester was my first trainer in this area and what an impact he has had in my life. My gratitude for coming into his orbit knows no bounds This is for those you need it now and for those you will need it later. Yes that's all of you covered then!
Thanks for sharing Trevor and big love to you, Bex. Fred and the legendary Betty. X
This is a great explanation of why we do what we do. It also explains why people who have opposing opinions and behaviour to us and how we can be more accepting of them.
What does success look like?
Dave Grohl from The Foo Fighters and ex-drummer from Nirvana. Even if he's not your cup of tea, please read on ...
He's been at the top for over 20 years. In fact it was 30 years ago he joined Nirvana.
He gets to work/play with his best mates as his day job.
He has a beautiful family and seems like a really nice guy - so many stories about his kind gestures.
He has a great sense of humour and doesn't seem to take himself too seriously. He looks like a happy guy.
He lives in Bel Air so he's got a few bob.
That looks like he is ticking a lot of success markers.
Now look at the stats on the video pictured below.
417 million views. (OK the 7 million was down to me!).
Of those, 1.7 million people bothered to give a thumbs up. How many loved it but didnt think to comment? I'd guess at a fair few.
Here's the interesting bit. 60 THOUSAND people gave it a thumbs down. That's a lot of haters. I've played a few gigs in my time but that's a lot of people voicing their not too glowing views. Is that failure?
So what can we learn?
Negative comments don't tell you about how good, successful or popular you are - they tell you about the person commenting.
Even the most successful people can't please everyone.
When you are thinking about your own success, are you playing small or not enjoying your success because you have fixated on the thumbs down comments?
Can you add any more things we can learn from this?
In these days of limited social contact, there is even more reason to try out working online with Zoom. This 3 minute video gives you a taste of what it's like and explains why it's my preferred way of working and how it can be used to keep connected even when we need to be physically apart.
I remember doing this as part of my Cog Hyp course. What seems impossible all of a sudden becomes possible. It smashes through other perceived limitations too. I remember one person having the same trouble as this little boy. We all knew they could do it even when they didn't. Sometimes you need to borrow from other people's belief in you.
A few thoughts to ponder on
- when you are feeling a bit low in self esteem, surround yourself with good people who can see in you what you can't right now.
- did you see how happy the others were when he succeeded? They became part of his journey - his success was their success. Allow help in. It's less fun on your own.
- notice how quickly joy can follow despair - we can be seconds away from a breakthrough but the signs may not be there. Have hope and don't take your current feelings as evidence of your actual position.
I've learnt a lot about human nature and the amazing creative potential that we all have.
You can do more than you think you can.
I believe in you.
There is so much in here. I encourage you to listen to this several times. The implications are huge. If you feel you are 'settling' in your current life because you are scared or just can't imagine a different future, this explains what is going on. It doesn't have to be this way. I love to help people who know deep down that they were made for more.
I help people recognise where they are treating thoughts as reality, change their neurological pathways and seed their future so it doesn't keep replicating the past. If you are curious to find out more, please get in touch.
WATCH THIS EVERY DAY - Motivational Speech By Dr. Joe Dispenza WATCH THIS EVERY DAY - Motivational Speech By Dr. Joe Dispenza ►Special thanks to Tom Bilyeu for providing the content Subscribe to TOM BILYEU'S YOUTUBE CHAN...
Thank you for your custom and recommendations. It's a real privilege to work with such lovely and inspirational people.
This is my finally ready for Christmas face. I'm having an eye op on the 27th so may not be fully back to work until the second week of January but I will be able to squint at texts and emails by the new year. Hopefully I'll have 2020 vision by the new year - see what I did there? Ok I'll get my coat! 😂
Wishing you a lovely Christmas!
For those wondering if Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapy works. Have a watch of this quick video.
Anxiety and Depression QCHPA Research Results 71% of Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapy clients reported themselves improved compared with only 42% of clients using other NHS funded talk therapies such as CBT.
This year I've worked with some spectacular young people with regard to exam anxiety. I'm so pleased that, from what I've heard so far, they met and even exceeded their expectations.
But hey ho it's on to the next thing now (GCSE results are already yesterday's news dahlink)!
The biggest things they all learned though relate to us all and are far more important than their grades:
1. Taking the exams for real was nowhere near as bad as they feared.
2. They were more capable than they gave themselves credit for.
So this is for everyone:
1. you can do more than you think
2 a lot of what you fear won't be as bad as you thought because you can't foretell the future; your fears are based on your imagination and not reality.
3. It's possible to have a better relationship with those "worrying" thoughts. Everyone has them but not everyone is affected by them to the same degree.
If you're struggling, have hope. It doesn't have to be like this for ever.
And if you need help, call me. I'd be delighted to speak to you. X
Thank you to my lovely client (who I can't possibly name) for the beautiful flowers for "going that extra mile" - it's easy to go the extra mile for wonderful people with whom it's a joy to work.
My day has been made! Xx
It's time to stop for the holidays and go to the pantomime (oh yes it is)! Thank you for your support and referrals this year, it means a lot.
I've got some exciting plans for 2019. It's not too late to make yours, if you haven't already. Having a plan sets off an almost magical chain of events to make your goals happen.
Wishing you all a lovely time and a fabulous 2019. See you on the other side! Xx
I probably won't win and probably don't deserve to but how lovely to be nominated. Thank you so much to the person who nominated me. I'm so touched. Xx
Another early start for some more training in London. As you can see I'm tired. What you cant see is how much I don't care about that. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. When I got on this train 5 minutes ago it was dark. Despite the rain, it's brightening up already. It's amazing how quickly things can look different. They say the darkest hour comes before dawn. Have hope when you are struggling, this too shall pass. Xx
I'm sharing this across all my social meda platforms because I believe EVERYONE should see this.
Not just women, not just men with women in their lives, but men for their own sakes, and let's not forget the children. It's 17 mintues long. Please take the time to watch this and deeply hear the message. xx
The pace of modern life versus our cavewoman biochemistry: Dr Libby Weaver at TEDxQueenstown "There is a crisis facing women's health." At TEDxQueenstown 2014 - Sense of place, Australasia's leading nutritional biochemist Dr Libby Weaver talks about ...
Another wonderful weekend of training ahead up in the big smoke. I'm committed to being the best I can be at what I do so that my clients can have their best experience of life. The time for living it is right now. Have a great day everyone! X
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Eleni Kouloumou is a Women's Relationship Coach working with clients locally in Surrey, UK, and over Zoom/ internationally. She helps women attract a High Value Man and have a healthy relationship.
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